


At the end of the world (I found you)

by putputpotato



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Human Byun Baekhyun, I sincerely hope you find enjoyment in this, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, OR IS HE, OR IS IT, Original Character(s), Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sorry again, Strangers to Lovers, Survivor Guilt, Sweet Park Chanyeol, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Zombie Apocalypse, author needs a hug too please, byun baekhyun needs a hug, he´s a dog but it still counts, i cried so much while writing this, i love you so much, kind of but not really, major character death is in the past though no hard feelings, sorry a third time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-02-04 18:39:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 75,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18610252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putputpotato/pseuds/putputpotato
Summary: In this world, where life and death blurs together, Byun Baekhyun is thrown into an adventure that will decide the future of humanity.Along the way he will loose, find and become what he most feared. Will you accompany him, little traveller?MoordboardRecommended soundtracks to listen to while reading:I am LegendThe last of usWorld War Z





	1. Intro: At the end of the world

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my Word-Programm for a literal eternity and I finally returned to finish it. ＼(≧▽≦)／
> 
> Please keep in mind that:
> 
> 1) when I started writing this, I was a lot younger and I developed a lot, which could be why the writing style changes up a lot (hopefully for the better lmao)
> 
> 2) This is not beta read. I repeat, this could be absolute crap because no one proof-read it except your idiotic author
> 
> This story has been heavily inspired by the World War Z movie, so if you notice a lot of similarities please don´t call me out on that, I´m aware I´m not very original (￣▽￣*)ゞ
> 
> Now without further ado, let the curtains lift!

He had seen all sorts of things that had crossed the borders of immortality in the past few days and yet the whole town seemed nothing more but dead. Rotten even, with seemingly endless amounts of weed eating away on the huge apartment buildings and the rust of old cars glistening in the late afternoon sunrays. No sounds, as if a blanket of silence had suffocated the world, leaving back only a shell of the place that he had known an eternity ago. It couldn´t have been too long, since the man had gotten to his feet, knees screaming for a break that lasted longer than a mere hour.

To his feet, a wide-eyed, young Australian shepherd gasped in a fast but even rhythm, carefully looking up at his human. Anthony was a beauty. He had won dozens of prices for his nice fur and friendly eye-smile, even made money for the both of them by staring deep into a camera. That was, of course, before everything had gone to shit.

Baekhyun sighed and snapped his finger silently towards Anthony as a signal and moved on, down the empty streets.

No one knew when or where it had started. Maybe the government had finally lost control of their mad bio-weapons. Some believed that it must have been a medical accident – the virus spreading faster than the pest ever could within human history. Then, came the more extreme theories; Aliens, that had planted the Virus in those whom had been hijacked onto their ships or the government attempting to reduce humanity´s count back to a more manageable number. A few individuals even described it to be "god´s last punishment".

"Punishment my ass." Baekhyun mumbled, "More like a freaking death sentence if you ask me" he growled at his dog, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

It had grown incredibly long within the past three years, to the point where he could barely keep it under control. He knew, just a while ago, his mother would have dragged him into the bathroom, locked the door and shaved it all off, because her son "couldn´t afford to look like a rock-star from the 70s. He stopped in his tracks, for a brief moment as the memory came back to life. But just a mere second later, Anthony jolted him awake with a nudge and he adjusted the crossbow on his shoulder to walk on and leave the tightness in his chest behind.

When they silently turned around a corner, climbing over a long abandoned truck, Baekhyun gestured Anthony to stay, "I need your eyes out here brother." he kneeled down to ruffle Anthony´s fur, earning himself a few affectionate licks, "good boy."

Taking the cross bow from his shoulder, Baekhyun stepped towards the supermarket in front of him. There was a thick sheen of dust on the panes and some of them were still littered with yellowed adverts, telling of offers and discounts. The owners must have moved to the quarantine facilities in search for safety, which left this city – on the opposite side of the country – almost deserted.

Stepping through the broken down entrance, Baekhyun pressed the wooden crossbow a little tighter to his chest. He knew it had been a risk to leave Anthony outside but he needed the dog to warn him, in case they showed up. Preferably before they knew he was there and not afterwards. Quickly but with silent steps, Baekhyun passed a few shelves with foul smelling products that vaguely reminded him of vegetables and made his way to the back. Here, they usually stored some canned food. Maybe he´d even find something nice for Anthony, before the poor guy had to only live of corn and pineapples. His heart ached as he thought about how his best friend´s fur-covered ribs were even more visible than his own.

Giving a last wary glance over his shoulder, Baekhyun slid his huge backpack down his shoulder and made quick work of filling it with the few food-cans that were still left. What he did not expect was the loud crash from the back of the shop. He had his crossbow up before his breath could hitch even once. The aim was pointed directly at a small baker´s counter. His body told him to shake, to run away, to scream even but his control hadn´t been schooled for nothing.

An awfully long silence followed in which Baekhyun just stared at the edge of the counter, waiting for a sign. Anything that would finally allow him to pull the trigger.

"Drop it." Baekhyun shivered at the deep voice that echoed through the store.

So firm, so fluent, so... alive, "Drop it or your ass will be blown up."

Now Baekhyun could see a mob of hair slowly appearing behind the counter, accompanied by a sharp jaw, hollowed cheeks and dark eye-bags. His stare was unmerciful, schooled by darkness and the biting cold that haunted the city, when the infected didn´t. Dirt covered his face and even though the stranger was obviously not afraid of him, he shook like crazy, making Baekhyun wonder how long he had kept his shelter right behind that counter.

"Did you not hear me? I said drop the goddamn crossbow!" The louder the other´s voice grew, the more fear Baekhyun could slowly hear seep through.

For a second he hesitated, just staring silently at the stranger. With a bit of patience, the man might just drop his own walls first. But the stranger stood adamantly, holding something that looked like an old TV-remote, thumb hovering dangerously close above the red "off"-button. Slowly nodding his head, Baekhyun felt his hair fall into his face as he bowed down to place the crossbow on the floor. As he straightened up again, he noticed that the other´s posture had relaxed a little.

"I wouldn´t do that if I were you." Baekhyun mumbled, trying his best to keep his voice firm.

"Don´t give me that bullshit!" the air between them staggered between hot and cold like an unbearable fever, "I´ve got two Kilos dynamite, right beneath your skinny ass, so you better be careful what you say!"

Balling his fists in frustration, Baekhyun said: "Do you really want to kill the only LIVING godforsaken creature within ten kilometres distance, you damn moron?"

"If you take just one step, I-"

"Yeah, yeah got it, you blow me up." he had had enough. Could this man really be so dumb? How long had Baekhyun himself been out there, separated from any other animate being that included an actual pulse, beside his dog. And that idiot just wanted to kill him, without even thinking about it? "Just do it already." He stepped closer, not completely confident in his believe that this stranger just as well had looked for someone alive for way too long, "But if you do, my dog will come and rip your daft brain out of your head and eat all your insides up, like they´re dog treats."

Baekhyun huffed out his last words; underlining them with the last step it took for his thighs to bump against the counter. The stranger´s eyes were still pinned onto his own gaze, flinching every now and then at Baekhyun´s morbid statement. With a fast move, Baekhyun had the remote in his hand, luckily not met with a lot of resistance.

"Thank you,” he hissed, mood even worse than before he had entered the store, "Now if you don´t mind, I will resume packing my damn tomatoes."

With that he turned around, picking up his crossbow and slinging it over his shoulder, without sparing the other man another glance. He shovelled a few cans of tomatoes and peaches into his backpack, some sausage into his jacket pocket for Anthony and even found a bar of chocolate on the opposite shelves. Immediately cracking one of the peach cans open, he stuffed his dirty fingers inside to fish one right into his mouth, marvelling over the unusually juicy taste. Behind him, he noticed some movement, a free hand slowly wandering to his crossbow, just in case.

"I don´t have any dynamite." the stranger mumbled low-spirited.

Baekhyun raised his brows and curiously pressed the button on the remote. Nothing. A groan almost escaped him as he realized how naive he had been. What a freaking joke, he thought and smashed the remote against the shelf to his left.

Then he zipped up his backpack and threw it back in its´ original place, "well then you better refrain from playing anymore stupid tricks on me because I DO have a dog and he´s-"

Baekhyun didn´t get to finish his sentence, when his very dog suddenly started shouting from outside. His barking sounded panicked and the man immediately knew something was off. Adjusting his bag one more time, he moved to bolt right out the store again.

However, the stranger seemed to disagree with his plans and stopped him with a hand on Baekhyun´s chest, "Where are you-"

"Shut up!" if the situation hadn´t been so tense, Baekhyun might have felt bad about his angry tone. However, given the scared sounds of Anthony right outside, he couldn´t get himself to care, "Anthony doesn´t bark like that when there´s no danger. I´ve trained him to do so."

With that he pushed the stranger´s arm aside, passing him and speeding out of the store, towards the entrance door. Behind him, the other man seemed to move just as fast, jumping back behind the counter and for a second Baekhyun thought he would just return there and stay hidden like fresh meat. It wasn´t his problem, he decided. At least until it became his problem and the stranger was suddenly breathing down his neck. There was a small backpack on the man´s back, Baekhyun noticed, while he managed to jump through the thrashed windows again.

Outside Anthony was still barking down the road, calming obviously at the sight of his owner. Baekhyun followed the direction that his animal friend faced, finding a bunch of infected, stumbling down the street. Surprisingly they hadn´t noticed them yet, despite Anthony barking like he was going mad.

Behind him, he heard the stranger gasp, "Shit-"

"Silent." Baekhyun said, not sure if his order was directed at the man behind him or the dog to his feet.

It worked for both, silence settling over all three of them. He crouched down, to move behind the wrecked truck, he had crossed before, Anthony following him like a second shadow. The stranger, although tall and seemingly anything but agile, managed to keep up at a respectable pace that Baekhyun could work with. That was when he realized he had to work with it.

"What in Jesus name do you think you´re doing?" he whisper-shouted at the other man, index bumping into the other´s chest.

The other seemed startled for a second, confused even, as if the answer to the question was too obvious for Baekhyun to ask, "I´m... coming with you?"

"Oh, no you don´t." he said, protest heavy in his voice, so it almost sounded whiney, "You´re running, I am running and we go our separate paths! I can´t use a brick on my ankle, dragging me down when I need to survive." As if in an agreement, Anthony gave a low growl.

“But I-“ Before the young man could finish his sentence, Baekhyun felt a hand grip his shoulder and a foul scent enter his nostrils. It hurt, past bruises on his skin being pressed by a brutally tight hold. He struggled, heartbeat picking up speed and his breath irregular in fear because Baekhyun knew now, he had lost control. Anthony was already on his feet and in the blur of the moment; Baekhyun could see the dog attacking the literal corpse that clung to his back.

However, before anything drastic happened, which Baekhyun had braced for, a sudden jolt went through the infected behind him, until his limbs became saggy. They dropped and Baekhyun immediately pushed himself away, just to fall on his knees and be face to face with his stranger´s knees. As he looked up, he saw the tall man holding Baekhyun´s crossbow in his hands, as if he had done so for years already. His face was determined and instead of looking down at Baekhyun, he had his gaze fixated ahead, to make sure they continued to stay safe. He didn´t allow himself to succumb to the confusion for too long, when he heard the infected behind the truck slowly scratching against the material of the long lost vehicle, trying to climb over.

Not wasting another second, he pulled the used arrow from the infected´s cold skull, finding it stuck right between his eyes. When he pulled it out, black slime started to flood the wound and Baekhyun promptly pulled his shirt over his mouth and nose to block out the smell. He turned around, grabbed the stranger´s wrist and ran. Ran like he had done countless times before and would do countless times again.

The stranger seemed to slowly loose his energy; Baekhyun could hear his panting loud and penetrant in the air. However, letting go of the man was now out of the question. He had saved Baekhyun´s life, even though, if not for the man, Baekhyun wouldn´t even have come into a situation like this. Deciding that it wasn´t the right time to let his thoughts travel, Baekhyun instead took in their surroundings.

If they managed to get far enough towards the north, they would be met with a huge bridge, where he had one of his camps set up. He always made sure to have at least three, just in case one or two of them got overran by infected and like that he would always have one nearby. Pulling the taller male along, Baekhyun made his way down several abandoned streets, once even passing a clothing shop, where a dozen infected pressed their ugly faces against the dusty panes.

They ran for almost fifteen minutes until Baekhyun was finally convinced that the horrible groaning of the infected chasing them, had finally vanished. They stopped at the edge of the expected bridge and Baekhyun sat down on a huge rock, conveniently placed nearby. Anthony merely let himself fall to his feet, panting almost as heavily as he was. Meanwhile, the stranger had spread out over the bonnet of an old Nissan, his panting sounds mixing with Baekhyun´s own. There was some sweat, trickling down the stranger´s forehead and neck and Baekhyun had to gulp at the sight. When had been the last time he had seen a living human? When had been the last time he had touched-

“I´m Chanyeol, by the way.” the stranger suddenly interrupted the silence.

It took Baekhyun some time to process the words, “Baekhyun.”

Then, after a bit of silence: “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For not leaving me on the road to die.”

Baekhyun exhaled sharply in something that sounded almost like amusement, “You would have been just fine without me.”

Chanyeol seemed genuinely confused, “What do you mean?”

“The way you shot that crossbow?” he suggested, slowly starting to rise from the rock on shaky legs, “You hit that beast right between the eyes. Where did you learn to do that?”

“You won´t believe me if I told you.”

Baekhyun cautiously eyed Chanyeol, taking back his crossbow and motioning for the taller to follow him, “Try me.”

The middle of the wood had cracked, naturally, as Baekhyun had built it himself. Now, the thing was useless and Baekhyun huffed. He decided to focus on being thankful for his survival and threw the remains of the crossbow to the ground.

Without hesitation, Chanyeol was on his feet and printing Baekhyun´s footsteps with his own bigger ones, “Video games.”

“You´re right. That´s bullshit.” Baekhyun grinned and shook his head.

He didn´t know what exactly he had expected but it certainly wasn´t this. Sure, Chanyeol had this kind of nerdy and lanky aura about him, the type of guy Baekhyun wouldn´t even have spared a second glance, back in high school. In those days Baekhyun had felt like a king. He was popular, had lots of friends, good grades and a lot of passion for all kinds of things. Sure, the occasional boyfriends were involved as well but none of them had even slightly resembled Chanyeol. It was easy to imagine that through that time, the guy was the nerdy girl-group-lover who people paid to do their homework.

The smile that formed on Baekhyun´s lips couldn´t be hidden at the imagination of Chanyeol, who had just shot a infected between the eyes, sitting in his pyjamas and playing Halo. Strangely enough, Baekhyun found the picture more endearing than he would have thought initially. He shook his head. Surely, this was a side effect of being isolated for so long. After being on your own for a certain amount of time, it surely was nice to have someone breathing, walking and thinking next to you. Even if there were no words exchanged, it was comforting to know that Baekhyun wasn´t alone in this huge world that had gone to shit. Considering all of this, every company would have been nice, he guessed.

After just a few minutes, they reached the huge bridge that Baekhyun had aimed for. It was rusty and broken, the river that had initially stormed bellow had long been reduced to a small ripple. Thankfully, the sinking of the water level had made it possible for Baekhyun to create the perfect shelter. He slid through the familiar crack in the bridge´s concrete, hidden perfectly beneath a huge, rusty direction sign. When his feet hit the rocks beneath the bridge debris, a deep sigh of relief left his chest.

Short after, he noticed how Anthony slipped into the space and Chanyeol´s feet hit the ground behind him, sounding a bit less elegant. Out of instinct, Baekhyun immediately reached for the pack of matches, he knew were placed near the entrance and lightened up the gas lamp on one of the rocks. The small room was soon illuminated in a bright, warm light and Baekhyun blew out the match.

“Wow…” Chanyeol murmured in awe, as Baekhyun walked over towards a bundle of fabric that seemed to be a sleeping bag, “How did you find this place?”

Settling himself down on the ground, Baekhyun whistled for Anthony to come and soon ran his fingers through soft fur, “We were running from a bunch of infected dogs.” he explained and Anthony excitedly licked his palm at the stroke, “It was hard as hell because Anthony was scared shitless, so it was difficult to convince him to get down here at first.”

“I can´t hold that against him, it´s a bit unsettling.” Chanyeol admitted, but sat himself in front of Baekhyun anyways, “Aren´t you scared that the bridge is gonna collapse?”

“I´m afraid of a lot of things.” Baekhyun admitted hoarsely and gently pushed Anthony towards Chanyeol, to get a closer look at the goods he had brought along, “but this place offers warmth and shelter from the rain. In addition, the infected are too dumb to find or reach it, which makes it safe as well.”

“I see.” The giant nodded.

Curiously mustering Chanyeol under his lashes, Baekhyun started to sort through the cans and bottles he had brought along. A lot of bread. Good. Barely any vegetables, he had only found the canned tomatoes in the convenience store. It was hard to get fresh ones, since those in the supermarkets had long turned bad. Thanks to the small river though, at least he didn´t have to look out for water anymore.

A small sound picked his attention and he looked up to find Chanyeol with a wide grin on the ground and a very exited dog on top of him. He was gently pushing at Anthony in a playful fight and Baekhyun stopped for a moment to watch the scene in front of him. It was strange, really. Usually, Anthony didn´t trust anyone besides Baekhyun. Even a year ago, when he had crossed a group of survivors that were headed to the south, he hadn´t gone near them at any moment. Maybe the past years had made him just as desperate for a touch as Baekhyun. Holding a hand, mixing one´s breath, nudging a cheek…

He quickly looked away.

“He likes you.” he stated out loud.

With a gentle smile, Chanyeol patted Anthony´s head, “I like him as well.”

That was the whole conversation but still, enough for Baekhyun at the moment. In a short huff of annoyance, Baekhyun shoved his hair back once more. He really needed to find a pair of scissors or at least a hair tie, they were really getting out of hand. A sudden wave of melancholy rolled over his fragile frame and he stopped dead in his movements. His mind flooded with pictures, telling of warm smiles and gentle touches, panicked screams and fearful tears and finally of warm blood splattering and an agonizing pain that cut into Baekhyun´s chest like a knife.

“Do you need this?” Chanyeol´s voice was like a slap to the face, pulling Baekhyun from his frozen state and directing his attention to a black scrunchy in his big hand.

It took a little for Baekhyun to process the question but then he reached for the band with a shy smile, “Thank you.”

He averted his eyes, as he tamed his wild mob of hair. It would happen often. A certain thought would strike a memory and Baekhyun would be dragged into a swirl of nothingness and memories, until he fell asleep. It usually ended up with him spending hours and hours with staring into thin air. Thankfully, that mostly happened to him when he was alone with Anthony in a safe place and rarely ever when he was outside. However, this was the first time that he had been ripped out of the painful spiral and he felt a strange wave of gratitude for Chanyeol´s presence.

“Do you always carry around a scrunchy?” Baekhyun asked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere with a cheerful tone in his voice.

“You might not believe it but”, Chanyeol grinned and then moved to lay on his back, “I used to have longer hair than you.”

“No way.” The thought was absolutely ridiculous but also… kind of adorable.

“Yes way.” The giant replied proudly, “I looked like a freaking elf. Wearing a scrunchy kind of stuck as a habit, since I often needed one before I cut them. They´re getting long again though.”

Snorting, Baekhyun motioned at his own hair, “Yeah, who do you tell.”

There was no answer but Baekhyun didn´t need one anyways. Instead, he made work of opening a can of mushrooms, finding a small fork in addition and taking a bite as soon as he could. He could feel Chanyeol´s hungry eyes linger on the food in his hands and he could only imagine how long the boy had spent without anything to eat. Surprisingly, though, Chanyeol kept silent. Didn´t ask for a bite, did not reach for the can in Baekhyun´s hand, nor did he take any of the other items. He just sat there and watched.

After taking the second bite, Baekhyun stretched the can and fork towards Chanyeol, “How long have you been on your own?”

With a happy feeling in his chest, he watched as Chanyeol hurriedly reached for the can and uttered a small ‘thank you’, before digging in, “A month now. Been mostly hanging around that grocery store.”

Trying not to scold Chanyeol for speaking with food in his mouth, he merely stretched his hand out to take another bite from the mushrooms, “I´m surprised you made it this long, considering they´re everywhere within the public areas.”

“I´m just as surprised about that as you are, trust me.” Chanyeol admitted and fiddled with the seam of his jumper.

“You said you´ve only been on your own for a month”, Baekhyun repeated and inelegantly wiped his oily fingers on his jeans, “Where´s your company?”

Before he could even contemplate whether he had struck a nerve, Chanyeol´s excitement seemed to raise, “Oh Kyungsoo and Minseok are on the other side of town, somewhere around the outer skirts. They said it´s safe there and we could find food in one of the old storage buildings.”

For a moment, Baekhyun analysed Chanyeol´s positive excitement. Obviously, they had more of a plan on what they were doing than Chanyeol did but at the same time, they sounded like ordinary people. But how could Chanyeol be so sure they were really there? That they hadn´t died, while he was hidden away in that grocery store for weeks. There was a lot that could happen in a month. Hell, there was a lot that could happen in this very minute.

“Why aren´t you with them?” Baekhyun asked after he had gulped down an especially big bite.

Sighing heavily, Chanyeol´s shoulders finally sank a little, “We uh… we got surrounded by a bunch of infected and they lured them away to protect me. They said we would meet at the storage buildings, but, as you can see, I haven´t made it there yet.”

He didn´t want to ask but it was a question that Chanyeol must have seen coming, “What makes you so sure they´re really there?”

“Nothing, really.” The taller admitted after a short moment of silence, “But it´s all I have left. They-“ he huffed, “They can´t be dead. Minseok is really good at archery and Kyungsoo is super smart. I´m absolutely sure they got through. They´re just waiting for me now.”

“What if they think you´re dead and they leave without you?” Baekhyun couldn´t look Chanyeol in the eye while asking the question.

He might have had some guts when it was about kicking an infected´s ass but looking into a living being´s eyes and realizing that they were about to loose the last bit of hope that they clung to, was something that could make him double over in panic. He had always been good with people in the past but now, he wasn´t even sure he could trust himself.

“I don´t know, maybe they did.” Chanyeol admitted and the answer came rather surprising, “But, you know, I wouldn´t really hold it against them. If they knew I was still alive, they´d wait for sure but since they have no way of knowing…”

He heaved another sigh and in a matter of seconds, Anthony had rolled up by his side, propping his chin on top of his paws. Baekhyun gave him an affectionate scratch behind the ear and watched as the dog´s posture started to relax. Chanyeol smiled in silence, watching the way Baekhyun´s fingers parted Anthony´s strands in a calming rhythm.

“How long have you been alone?”

Knowing that it wasn´t the answer Chanyeol wanted, he responded: “I have Anthony.”

“I mean…” the boy seemed unsure of how to phrase his question, “How long without people?”

“I stopped counting at some point but around three years.”

Chanyeol´s eyes widened in disbelief, “You´re shitting me! Three years?”

“I´ve briefly met a group of survivors around a year ago.” Baekhyun admitted, “We´ve exchanged like… three words in total, if you want to count that.”

“You´re a badass.”

Baekhyun wanted to deny it. Because in absolute honesty, he knew he was slowly starting to loose it. His nights remained sleepless, despite the supposedly safe shelter and his mind had started to play tricks on him for a while now. Even with Anthony, he knew that the isolation, the constant horror and the fact that there was no other human being he could trust, was slowly starting to eat away at his sanity. It would probably only take a couple of months until either his flesh would be rotten and his brain mindless, or his remains would lie on the pavement of an abandoned street, a mere shadow in the sunlight, as the stench would slowly start to lure the infected. Or maybe, Anthony would eat him first. Truth be told, he might even prefer that.

“Will you look for them?” Baekhyun decided to leave the comment alone.

Despite everything, Chanyeol seemed to be rather determined, a fire in his eyes that Baekhyun knew he hadn´t seen in his own pair for months now, “I want to. If I can find them again, we might make it to one of the safety zones.”

Nodding his head in favour of not bringing Chanyeol´s spirits down, Baekhyun finally took the emptied can and fork, to place them next to his sleeping bag, “I can provide you a bit of food, it should last for about three days. Might wanna take a bottle of river water with you, while you´re at it. I´d also recommend to you, to avoid the shopping area, it´s pretty crowded there.”

He could feel Chanyeol´s eyes on him, as he moved to pick up a sausage can and opened it for Anthony. The dog had already crowded him at the smell of food and Baekhyun couldn´t help the fond smile he sported at that. As soon as the can was opened, he fished the small sausages out and fed them to Anthony. He didn´t take one for himself, the dog had deserved every single piece.

“What will you do?” Chanyeol asked with a small voice.

Bitterly shrugging his shoulders, Baekhyun watched absentmindedly, as Anthony liked at his fingers, “Same as you. Trying to survive.”

“Why don´t you come with me?”

The words hit Baekhyun like an arrow in the chest. Yeah, why didn´t he? It was obvious that there was nothing here that was worth staying for. Why was he still here, after all these years? It would be a lie to say he didn´t know. Because, despite all the ugly things he had seen, despite all the terrifying things he had witnessed, the past was holding him. Memories had their tight grip of regret wrapped tightly around his heart and despite the knowledge that he could make it Baekhyun never had the bravery to leave.

Now, there was Chanyeol, determined to find a new place. A new life. If he left without him, Baekhyun would be at the exact same place as before again, lonely, bad-shit crazy and on the verge of dying every day. What if this was a sign? An invitation from the universe to finally make him get off his ass and do something. What if Chanyeol was the only living being he would ever meet for the rest of his life? Was it wise to let him go? Or should he swallow down the lingering tightness in his chest? This dark hope of something achingly close to an end, eating at his very being.

Maybe, it wasn´t such a bad idea. It could offer him a way out of the tight spiral that he had gotten himself into. Besides, there was really nothing he could loose. If he stayed, the infected would find him and Anthony one day. However, if he went with Chanyeol… he couldn´t tell what possibilities would unfold but anything was more promising than the prospect of spending the rest of his life in a hole in a bridge, with no company apart from his dog.

“We´ll set out at sunrise.” he stated and even with the lack of a proper answer, Chanyeol seemed pleased.

Or rather almost giddy, looking at the way he raised his fist in a silent success. It felt strange to have Chanyeol so happy about another ally. For him, it would just mean another mouth to feed and he wouldn´t mind missing out on that per say. On the other hand, maybe there was still something like hope running through Chanyeol´s veins. A strange thought for Baekhyun but considering this, he found that he understood the joy that came with not being alone anymore.

“There´s only one sleeping bag.” Baekhyun stated, “We can alternate.”

“It´s fine.” Chanyeol moved to lie his head on Baekhyun´s backpack, “Take it. I´ve slept on worse things than stone.”

He tried to not picture too many things into the statement and started to pack himself into the sleeping bag. Anthony immediately hurried to his side and he made room for the dog, to crawl inside. Soon, he had settled into the familiar position he had used for the last years and felt the familiarity soak his mind. However, this time it wasn´t quite the same. There, just a mere metres away laid a breathing human body; a body full of emotions and thoughts that Baekhyun wanted to learn about. Filled with care and warmth in its´ eyes that made Baekhyun want to share his inner demons.

There, just a mere metre away laid Park Chanyeol.


	2. Highway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back traveller! The journey is about to continue so sit back and enjoy the ride!

The gravel crunched beneath his feet, as Baekhyun jumped from the faded, blue Skoda onto the ground bellow. As he looked behind, he found Chanyeol´s bright, rosy mob of hair far above him. The car made a small bridge from a rather high stone cliff and Baekhyun stood ready to catch the other, in case he slipped. But Chanyeol easily mastered the small parkour and landed on the ground next to Baekhyun and Anthony.

They had been on the road for seven hours already, as promised, starting from the very first strand of light that hit the lost city. Baekhyun almost missed the morning, hadn´t it been for Chanyeol, who had shook his shoulder to wake him up. He didn´t dare ask, but it almost seemed like Chanyeol hadn´t slept at all. Considering this, it seemed to be a miracle that he was still on his feet. Not only that, he even tended to always be a few steps ahead of Baekhyun and Anthony. Baekhyun knew what it meant to run on little to no sleep, yet he couldn´t remember himself ever being as energized as the giant was.

As they passed another crossroad, Baekhyun threw a quick look at one of the few street signs that still stood straight. He didn´t recognize the street´s name but that didn’t matter. Right now, the map in his mind still held enough information to guide him.

“We should take a break.” he then suggested, throwing his backpack on the edge of the pavement in a strained motion.

“Is that wise?” Chanyeol asked and his forehead pulled into worried wrinkles, as he watched Baekhyun sit down and ruffle Anthony´s fur, “Wouldn´t it be wiser to keep moving?”

“Listen Mr. Superhuman”, Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his nose bridge wearily, “If we keep exhausting ourselves and we really need to run from something, we won´t get very far with the little energy we´ll have left. Putting up a fight is easier, if you´ve actually relaxed your muscles for at least ten minutes. Besides”, he started to rummage through his backpack, “I´m thirsty and so is my dog.”

That seemed to be enough to shut Chanyeol up, as he remained silent and just slumped down against a rusty motorbike. As soon as Baekhyun had made sure Anthony had had enough to drink, he took a sip from his water bottle and then moved to throw it at Chanyeol. Despite being unprepared, Chanyeol easily caught it and gave him a thankful nod.

He mustered Chanyeol, as he took a few gulps of the bottle and then closed it again. There was a light, red tint to his face, that seemed to be the first sign of a sunburn and his jeans had been ripped at the knees one too many times. Baekhyun considered the few people he had met during the last years and then looked at Chanyeol once more. He looked like a regular citizen, not like a man who was trying to survive the apocalypse.

“You´re not very prescient, are you?” Baekhyun asked, trying to keep the automatic mockery out of his voice.

The other didn´t seem to mind the question though, “Not really. I´ve never had to actually plan my survival, like you. I tend to drift off into thoughts a lot, so I´m not really good at focusing on the task at hand. Much less on things that could actually be important. Kyungsoo always did the whole organization-thing for us.”

Thoughtfully nodding his head along, Baekhyun leaned back against his palms, “That Kyungsoo-guy seems rather close to you. Your brother?”

“Ex-boyfriend.” Chanyeol stated and Baekhyun´s lips stretched into a knowing smile, “We´ve been together for like- three years? Then, when the apocalypse came, he said we should bring a bit more distance between us.”

Baekhyun raised a brow in question, “Why so?”

The way Chanyeol was shrugging his shoulders, seemed so disappointed, Baekhyun suddenly had the urge to stand up and ruffle his hair. He didn´t.

“He said it would make things less painful, in case one of us…” he let his words fade out, “you know.”

“And what do you think about that?” Why did he even bother?

It wasn´t like Baekhyun, to indulge in strangers. He had always met people with a stone-hard gaze and a locked up heart. Ever since the apocalypse, at least. That way, it would be easier. That way, it would be safer. He knew that, yet he couldn´t stop seeking something in Chanyeol. From learning whom his counterpart used to be before the apocalypse and who he had been forced to become after it.

Chanyeol turned his head away, squinting his eyes against the midday sun, “You know, I think that we should have done the opposite.” he still refused to look at Baekhyun but that didn´t stop the boy to muster Chanyeol intently, “In my opinion, trust would have made us stronger. Maybe, if we had strengthened our bond, instead of fighting and distancing ourselves all the time, Luhan wouldn´t have…”

It was the first time that the name fell, yet Baekhyun knew that he shouldn´t have heard it in the first place. Suddenly, Chanyeol seemed to close the small door that Baekhyun had peeked into and now, there was a strict and thick wall between them, making the air uncomfortably tense. For a moment, he contemplated to ask but the look in Chanyeol´s eyes was enough for him to know that he should keep his mouth shut.

“Let´s move.” he stated instead, hoping to relief Chanyeol a little of the sudden darkness that wavered around him.

The taller only nodded and pushed himself off the motorbike, while Baekhyun gathered his backpack and whistled at Anthony to follow. The Australian shepherd was at his side in an instant, carefully eyeing their surroundings and his ears raised fiercely. He walked between Chanyeol and Baekhyun and from the other side, he could feel the taller´s big eyes on Anthony´s small figure. As he checked Chanyeol´s face, Baekhyun found them filled with warmth again and it calmed him immediately. Who would have known that another human´s mood would affect him so much?

“He´s really beautiful.” Chanyeol commented and Baekhyun gave Anthony a proud smile.

“Not just that.” As he felt Chanyeol´s questioning gaze on him, he continued, “Boy´s been my second pair of eyes and ears ever since I can remember.”

“Even before the apocalypse?” Chanyeol asked.

“Even then.” A soft smile spread on Baekhyun´s lips, as he remembered the days when Anthony was still a young puppy, almost as blustery and thick-headed as Baekhyun himself, “I used to go to university and come home pretty late.” he started to explain, not giving himself a chance to rethink opening up, “There were a lot of shady people on the streets but thanks to Anthony, no one ever made a move. In addition to that, I think he made more money for us than I ever did.”

He chuckled softly and Chanyeol smiled along, “That´s really nice.”

It could have felt awkward. The sudden silence and stop to the conversation but Baekhyun only felt the other´s presence morph into the sound of ravens crowing in the distance and the warmth of the sun on his skin. Right now, he realized he felt something he hadn´t felt in a way too long time. He felt safe. He felt in the moment. As if everything that had happened was nothing more than a terrible nightmare.

Raising his hand, Chanyeol pointed at a closed off building complex, “Over there, that´s the safest way to the other side of town. The road leads to a train-station and there, we can follow the tracks to-“

Before he could finish his sentence, Baekhyun had a tight grip on his shoulder. The sudden tension in Anthony´s posture wasn´t a good sign. That was for sure. With a finger on his lips, Baekhyun hoped it was clear for the other to stay silent and slowly crept towards the edge of a building, pressing his side against the stone. He felt Chanyeol´s presence behind him and Anthony at his leg. Nervously, he buried his fingers into the fur, just in case Anthony decided to run into the open without a second thought. Then he risked a look around the corner.

There, around ten metres into the building complex, a lot of roughly two dozens of infected had gathered. The obscene sound of lips slurping at blood and teeth ripping through skin only added up to the disgusting picture that revealed itself. There, in the middle of the road laid a small, dead body. Its´ legs were crooked in strange angles and all Baekhyun could see of its´ head was a mob of dirty, blonde hair. He quickly looked away, the picture of spilled guts and red making his head turn.

“We need to take another road.” he stated in a hushed whisper.

Before answering, Chanyeol pressed himself against Baekhyun to get a look at the scene himself, “We can´t. That´s the only way that leads us to the train station. Appart from the main road of course.”

“On the main road we´d have double the amount.” Baekhyun voiced Chanyeol´s worries, “Fuck. What do we do?”

“Can´t we sneak past them?” Chanyeol whispered and Baekhyun immediately shook his head.

“The road´s too tight. Nowhere to hide, they´d see us before we could even get close to them.”

Chanyeol furrowed his brows, “What if we just run?”

“That´s suicide and you know it.” Baekhyun bit back, the tension in his shoulders made his voice more aggressive than necessary, “No, there has to be another way.”

He eyed their surroundings. The tight road between the buildings was filled to the brim with infected and there were only two cars scattered around. Nowhere to hide, so that was out of the question. Some of the buildings carried fire ladders but they were all rusty, if not fallen off completely. None of them could potentially carry either of them, much less both. And even if they could, as soon as they were on the rooftops, where should they go?

His hope was almost crushed into ashes, when he suddenly noticed a round spot on the other end of the road, way past the horde of infected. A gully. He took a firm grip on Chanyeol´s arm, noticing the muscle bulging beneath his hand in surprise.

“I know how we get past them.” he whispered and pulled Chanyeol away from the building complex.

Curiously following Baekhyun´s eyes, Chanyeol soon spotted another gully, right on the other side of the street. It seemed as though he understood without a moment of hesitation. When Chanyeol gave him a nod of approval, Baekhyung didn´t waste another second and started moving.

He crouched low, behind car-wrecks and broken Dumpsters. His every move went fluid and catlike, not setting even a single one of the pebbles on the street into motion. Anthony followed suit, his steps carrying the same lightness. Chanyeol, however, was a completely different deal. With every step that the tall man made, Baekhyun had to keep from cringing, as the stone scraped deafeningly beneath Chanyeol´s feet.

Rolling himself beneath a car, Baekhyun stopped for a moment to look out for his companion and found Chanyeol with a concentrated frown on his face. It was evident that he had no experience regarding any of this and it seriously made Baekhyun wonder how the man was still around. How he had been able to get through this dystopia despite obviously carrying two left feet. It reminded Baekhyun of the stories that Chanyeol had told him – about his ex-boyfriend. There was no denying, Baekhyun was pretty eager on meeting that said ex-boyfriend.

Finally, with a last painful scrunch in his path, Chanyeol joined Baekhyun beneath the car. His body was almost too tall to fit in the cramped space and Baekhyun felt his breath hitch at the close contact: the unusual warmth, the slight shudder his body reacted with. Reaching out to Chanyeol would be nice, if they weren´t hiding from a horde of infected. He blamed it on his touch-deprived system and threw the thought away.

“There´s no cover now”, Baekhyun stated with a pained look at the open space between them and the gully, “I´ll go first and open the gully. They´re distracted with the corpse, if we do this right, they might not notice us.”

“What if they´ll smell us?” Chanyeol responded and bit his lip – a nervous habit as it seemed.

“If I´m not mistaken, the stench of the body should be a lot stronger than ours. Here, take Anthony.” He pushed Anthony in Chanyeol´s arms and showed him how to hold him by the neck, “Don´t let him go, until I give you a signal.”

Chanyeol nodded wildly, still Baekhyun didn´t have the heart to leave yet. He looked at Chanyeol with intensity in his eyes, hands balled to fists and his heart thumping in his rib cage.

“Whatever you do. Even if your heart stops beating”, he murmured and his eyes went to Anthony´s bright eyes that were fixed on him, “Don´t let him go, until I say so.”

He didn´t really know what it was but something in Chanyeol´s eyes, as he nodded, told Baekhyun he could trust him. At least now, if he died, there would be someone looking out for Anthony.

No.

He couldn´t indulge in thoughts like those now. With his breath held, he turned around and rolled himself from beneath the car as silently as possible. As he pushed himself up, the stone beneath his feet cackled, as if it was laughing at his poor attempt and he froze in his pose for a few seconds. When it became clear that the infected were still busy, he finally released the air in his lungs. Step after step, he approached his aim, not taking his eyes off the infected for even a split second. They were ripping at bones by now, a countdown that Baekhyun noticed with a terrible feeling in his chest.

When he finally stood over the gully, he hooked his fingers in the holes, pulling the heavy metal up. He felt his muscles cry from exhaustion, still tense and sore from the marathon he had run just the day before. But he pushed through and clenched his teeth. A few seconds later, the obstacle was out of the way and Baekhyun allowed himself a small sigh of relief.

Lifting his head, Baekhyun found Chanyeol´s eyes with his own again and gave him a curt nod, immediately watching how Anthony sped over the stone to his feet. He motioned his friend down the gully, earning himself a pair of disapproving puppy eyes and then looked back up at his new companion again.

Chanyeol had trouble to appear from beneath the car but after a bit of shuffling, he made it. This time luckily, he managed to stay almost as silent as Baekhyun and he was by his side in no time. With a strict motion of his hand, Baekhyun sent the taller down the hole and watched his bright hair disappear in the darkness. However, just before he could move down to follow the other two, Baekhyun´s eyes caught sight of a very unsettling detail.

“Crap…” he mumbled and let himself slide down the hole as well.

“Nice”, Chanyeol applauded silently and turned towards their destination already, “Let´s go.”

“Wait.”

Chanyeol looked positively betrayed by the idea of not leaving this place as soon as possible, but he stopped nonetheless and regarded Baekhyun with a questioning look.

“They´re heading in the wrong direction.” Baekhyun explained, throwing another nervous look above the edge of the stone ground, where he found the infected still roaming around their designed exit, “If we come out at the other side, they´ll have their hands on us within no time. There´s no time slot. No safety.”

He could hear Chanyeol curse under his breath and noticed how Anthony grew more and more restless. Obviously, Chanyeol wasn´t the only one, keen on leaving this dark place as soon as possible. Inside his head, the wheels turned and turned, reaching out for any kind of idea, any kind of solution but the maps of his mind remained blank, leaving him only the desperate hammering of his heart. Maybe they had to find another way? No, they had come this far, there had to be a solution.

“Step aside.” Baekhyun lifted his eyes in surprise, when he was gently pushed aside by Chanyeol.

He didn´t feel comfortable with leaving Chanyeol to do whatever reckless thing he had set his mind to but nonetheless, Baekhyun made space. If he couldn´t trust Chanyeol then what was the point of staying with him anyways? He hadn´t given Baekhyun a reason to doubt him yet and that was enough for Baekhyun to hand over the rudder for the moment.

With a frantic look, Chanyeol let his eyes hush over their surroundings and Baekhyun soon understood that he was looking for something. But before he could offer his help, Chanyeol´s expression lit up and he bent down to grasp a fist-sized rock, wet with the canal water. They exchanged a firm second of eye-contact and Baekhyun felt himself nodding softly. Whatever Chanyeol had in mind, it was better of a plan than nothing.

He watched Chanyeol pull himself out of the gully, until he was exposed to the chest. Baekhyun couldn´t see much of what was going on beyond it but he saw Chanyeol´s face pale significantly, when his eyes fell on the group of infected. He swallowed hard and turned away from them, hauling off the hand, which grasped the rock. When Baekhyun finally realized what Chanyeol´s intention was, it was already too late. He flinched, hard enough to hurt himself in the progress, as he heard the rock hit a piece of metal with a deafening crash. Chanyeol was down before the rock even hit the surface.

“Are you fucking nuts?!” Baekhyun whisper-shouted but all he got as a respond was Chanyeol tugging at his sleeve.

He let himself be pulled along reluctantly. Above him, the stomps of the infected rattled through the earth and Baekhyun felt the corners of his eyes water in fear. Had Chanyeol lost his mind? Had he sent them right into their grave? Their steps got closer and closer to the gully that they had entered through and Baekhyun felt a heavy curse on his tongue.

Then, the steps became more distant and more distant, until they were silent enough to be a work of his imagination. Then, Baekhyun understood. His awe-struck face went unnoticed by Chanyeol, as he pushed Baekhyun up, towards their exit, his eyes still fixed on the way they had come from. Deciding to pull himself together for now, Baekhyun climbed the edge of the gully and threw a carful glance at his surroundings: empty. No infected, nothing, but the distorted corpse in the middle of the alley. He pulled himself up and proceeded to help Chanyeol upwards.

Then, without having to exchange even a word, they ran.

\--*--

“It´s going to rain.” The sky above them had turned from a sunlit spring day to a clouded and windy early-march day throughout the last hours, “We should look for some shelter.”

“But we´re almost there, it´s just-“

“Look, Chan”, the nickname slipped off Baekhyun´s tongue a bit too easy for his liking, “I know you want to find your friends as soon as possible, trust me, I really do but”, he stopped in his tracks and looked at Chanyeol, who mirrored his motions, “we can´t afford to get sick now, that could kill us before we even get there.”

He could see Chanyeol contemplate Baekhyun´s words on the inside, could see him analyse every option they had and he couldn´t blame him. But the clouds above his head and the smell in the air were too prominent to change his mind. Besides, he could already feel the icy wind creep beneath his clothes and he didn´t even want to know how cold Chanyeol would soon be in his simple long-sleeved T-shirt.

“Okay, fine.” Chanyeol finally agreed and Baekhyun released a tense breath.

He wasn´t keen on fighting with Chanyeol already, considering they haven´t known each other for more than two days. As he analysed the area, he noticed a bunch of possibilities for shelter. Some were more obvious; an old café, with its´ windows and doorframe barricaded with thick pieces of wood or a caravan with deflated wheels. But what caught his eye was a broken window, leading to an apartment on the first floor, right above the café. Already forming a route in his mind, Baekhyun stepped towards the building, feeling his company tag along.

After looking at the café for a little, he pulled off his backpack and handed it to Chanyeol, “Hold this.”

“What are you-“

As soon as Chanyeol had taken the bag, Baekhyun grasped the edge of the narrow roofing that the café wore. His muscles strained, but he managed to lift himself up with a silent groan. The fabric beneath his feet dipped under his weight and the frame, it was attached to, shook dangerously. Now, he was right next to the window and with a cautious motion, Baekhyun wriggled himself inside. He hissed sharply when he hit the ground on the inside and his arm landed right on the edge of a shard of glass.

The warmth of blood enveloped his underarm but he didn´t let himself get distracted and pushed the window up further to widen the gap. Chanyeol threw the backpack up to him and then lifted Anthony to wiggle onto the roofing as well. The creaking sound that it made beneath the twitchy animal made Baekhyun nauseous and the relief washed over him, when Anthony climbed into his arms and he was able to lift his friend into safety. Now, there was only Chanyeol left.

“Dude, no way in hell, is this going to hold me.” Chanyeol pouted.

Baekhyun couldn´t help his eyes from rushing around nervously; The sky became darker, the shadows in the streets became larger. They didn´t have much time.

“I´ll hold you.” he promised, “Just give me your hand, as soon as you can reach it.”

Still wearing a sceptical look on his face, Chanyeol then nodded and situated his hands on the roofing, just the way Baekhyun had. As soon as he pulled himself up, the frame groaned brutally. It wasn´t a surprise, Baekhyun should have seen this coming. Anthony and him were a featherweight compared to the giant. But he still had faith that the roofing would hold him.

He stretched his hand out the window in no time and nervously watched Chanyeol climb the surface completely. His feet were unsteady and his frame wobbled before Baekhyun´s eyes. When their hands intertwined, Baekhyun almost felt safe.

Too soon.

Chanyeol´s eyes widened even before the ground disappeared beneath his feet. The strain in Baekhyun´s arm was painful enough for him to release a shout. Chanyeol hung from his grip, dangling like a monkey. The ground wasn´t far beneath him, Chanyeol wouldn´t get hurt if Baekhyun let go, but if he did, there would be no way for the giant to climb the window anymore, despite his considerable height.

So, he put all his will, all his strength and the weight of his desire to not be left alone again, all of it, right into the pull of his arm. He steadied himself and gritted his teeth, reaching through the window frame, despite the sharp edges that cut into the flesh of his arms and waist. Chanyeol´s free hand grasped onto the edge of the window, supporting Baekhyun´s strength and together they pulled.

Just, when he thought his arms would finally give in, Baekhyun found Chanyeol´s waist come into view and his whole frame appear in the window. He gave a last hard tug and Chanyeol stumbled through the window, right against Baekhyun. They tumbled and fell. Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol´s hands on the back of his head, shielding him from the impact, as they hit the stone ground. Chanyeol´s weight collapsed on top of Baekhyun and for a moment, his breath was knocked out of his lungs.

And then they were safe; breathing and safe.

Before Baekhyun could even grasp the situation completely, Chanyeol´s nose brushed against his. His eyes widened, as his brain started to take in the warmth of another body on top of his. Chanyeol´s heart thumping against his. As if they were trying to break free.

They froze.

Moments passed, holding hands with eternity and Baekhyun couldn´t move. Couldn´t bring himself to look away from those wide, brown eyes. He tasted Chanyeol´s breath on his tongue, the ghost of a touch still roaming the tip of his nose. There was a primal instinct in his guts, long forgotten, long abandoned and Baekhyun almost gave into it; almost gave into the urge to lean in, when-

“You´re bleeding.” Chanyeol mumbled, suddenly a bit frantic, as if he had been ripped from a haze.

He hurried to get up, leaving Baekhyun weightless and cold on the ground. As Chanyeol scrambled to find some bandages in Baekhyun´s backpack, the latter remained frozen on the floor, trying to process what had happened. Why did he wish for Chanyeol´s weight on him to return? Why did his hands still pull towards him? Shaking his head, Baekhyun pushed himself upright. This had to be connected with his endless isolation. He hadn´t felt a human being this close in an eternity; hadn´t gotten the chance to hold a hand or give a hug at some point. Even sex… it seemed like a century had passed since the last time. Surely, his reaction was merely a result of his touch-deprived state. Right?

It was only, when Chanyeol lifted Baekhyun´s arm in a gentle grip, that he managed to wake from his thoughts. With a careful gaze, Chanyeol analysed, cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his arms. They weren´t deep but the blood dripping down Baekhyun´s elbow was enough reason for him to endure the treatment. Even though, in his opinion, they should save the bandages for more urgent situations.

“There, I think that should be enough.” Chanyeol mumbled and in the silence, his voice seemed deafening.

Just in that moment, a distant thunder roared above them and Anthony flinched, where he was pressing against Baekhyun´s side. Immediately, Baekhyun´s hand found the animal´s fur, petting in soothing motions and trying to calm him down.

“He´s scared of thunder.” Baekhyun explained and found himself grateful to have a reason to not look up at Chanyeol.

It seemed like the other felt the same, because his shy gaze remained on his hands when he spoke: “Understandable.” Then after a bit of painfully awkward silence, he added: “I´ll have a look around.”

Baekhyun only nodded and let Chanyeol pass him and walk through the only doorframe in the whole room. It gave him the opportunity to look around a little. There wasn´t much; just a desk with an additional chair and a cupboard with a small collection of books. The carpet beneath him smelled like dust and the window didn´t even wear curtains. This must have been one of the poorer districts, he realized.

Once, he managed to get up with a groan, Baekhyun walked over to the desk, hearing the rain starting to pour from the outside. Next to him, Anthony hurried to his side. The desk was covered with a thick, grey cover of dust and barely contained anything at all; just a few books and papers. However, what caught Baekhyun´s eye quickly, was the file placed in the middle of the desk´s surface. He picked it up and held it into the dim light that came through the window.

The handwriting was barely legible but he could make out most of it rather easily;

_I don´t have a lot of time to write this but I´m positive to say we made it. The test subject is young, barely twenty but he could carry the solution to this whole mess. Yixing says his blood is the key. If we can get him out of the city and into one of the safety zones, perhaps I can manage something. Maybe, we can find a cure. Maybe, we can end this mess. We´re hoping for the best._

_Kim Jongdae._

With a frown, Baekhyun put the file back on the desk. It seemed like this piece of paper carried more weight than he could imagine. Antidote…? What were they talking about? Who were they talking about? And an antidote against what? It couldn´t be…

“There´s not much to see, honestly. No one´s been here for quite a while, there´s dust everywhere. We got a bed and a sofa, though, so that´s nice for a change.” Chanyeol rambled, as he entered the room. As soon as he noticed Baekhyun´s lack of response, he stepped closer, “You alright?”

Instead of answering, Baekhyun handed him the file and watched the taller´s eyes hush over the lines. With every word, the confusion in his face seemed to intensify and Baekhyun anxiously started to chew on his bottom lip, as he waited.

“What is this?” Chanyeol finally asked, when he put the file back in its´ original place.

He could only shrug, “I´m not sure. Something like a diary… or a logfile. It seems like it was written not too long ago though, the ink is still relatively legible and the pen”, he opened the pen that laid on the desk, next to the file and scrawled a few jiggle-lines on his fist, “still writes. So, it´s been made recently. Maybe someone actually lived here for a while after the apocalypse.”

“That would explain the barricades on the door and windows.”, Chanyeol agreed, “There´s a few cans of food and water too and a secret exit to a courtyard at the other side of the building.”

Nodding his head, Baekhyun stepped through the door frame, into the next room. A purple couch, covered with messy blankets and a TV right in front of it, a table in between and a cupboard on the other wall. To his right was another doorway that seemed to lead into a kitchen and to his left, Baekhyun found a dark staircase that probably led down to the Café. Then, his eyes fell upon a few significant details.

“Whoever lived here, wasn´t a total noob”, he proposed and stepped over towards the kitchen, “There´s matches and gasoline, to burn the infected, cinnamon, to cover up one´s smell. And”, he lifted the heavy riffle from the ground, “a Barrett REC7.”

“So, you´re saying, whoever was here knew what was coming at them?” Chanyeol´s disbelief was almost graspable in the air.

“I dare to say so”, Baekhyun said and then after a while of silence he added: “It could even be that they came here for something.”

The taller let out a disbelieving sound, “Why in the hell would someone voluntarily come into a hazard zone?”

“Maybe they were looking for something.” Slowly, Baekhyun´s mind started to follow the trail of almost invisible footsteps, “Or someone.”

“You mean that person, they mentioned in the file?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Baekhyun set the firearm back down again, “It would explain a lot.”

A disbelieving laugh left Chanyeol´s lips, “Is that so? To me, it doesn’t really explain anything at all.”

With a sigh, he sat down at the kitchen table and Baekhyun eyed him carefully. Somehow, Chanyeol seemed unsettled. Out of concept. He wasn´t sure why but perhaps, the tall boy merely had the toughness of the day overweight his mind. And who was Baekhyun to blame him for that, really?

“Let´s eat something.” he proposed, deciding to let the topic rest for now.

With a heavy sigh, Chanyeol nodded his agreement and they both made their way back into the living room. Together, they allowed themselves to generously feast on the cans of food, stored in the kitchen. They sat on the couch with Anthony, enjoying their meal in a comfortable silence and watched the storm outside unfold completely, until the rain had covered the streets with a sheen of liquid diamond.

“I´ll try to close an eye.” Chanyeol proposed, when he had finished his last cracker, “I´ve fallen in love with the bed upon first sight.”

Smiling at the joke Baekhyun nodded and watched Chanyeol leave towards the kitchen and into the bedroom. Anthony followed, soon after. Baekhyun however, couldn´t bring himself to close an eye yet.

The file wouldn´t leave his thoughts alone, theory upon theory stacking in his brain and adding up to his restlessness. When nightfall came, he gathered a pack of matches and his gas lamp and went back into the study. The rain came through the broken window, leaving a small puddle at the floor but Baekhyun didn´t pay the mess a thought. Instead, he walked towards the desk again and sat down in the chair. For a while, he simply stared at the file, analysing every single word and its´ meaning, until he finally accepted that he had reached a dead end. Then, he started to rummage through the other documents, scattered on the desk.

Most of the other files were data sheets and old newspapers from the time, when the first infected had been discovered. Baekhyun recognized the headlines as if it had just been yesterday; ‘X-Virus takes over California’, ‘Seoul under quarantine.’ and ‘more than 20.000 fatalities.’. At that time, he had been one of the people to read the newspapers with their scepticism written on their face and hadn´t even believed a single word. If someone had told him about the world he lived in today, he would have given them nothing more than a laugh.

After the first corpse he had seen, he had learned to know better.

With a frustrated sigh, Baekhyun threw the newspapers back at the desk and leaned back in his chair. There had to be some kind of clue, some kind of secret key that would explain the meaning of the mysterious file.

He wasn´t even sure why this unsettled him so much but something told him that whatever the file was about, was beyond important. Maybe, he was just frustrated because he didn´t understand. Maybe, he just felt stupid. In his fury, Baekhyun couldn´t help himself but to slam his fist on the desk´s surface. What he didn´t expect though, was the wooden plank that fell from the underside of the furniture, right onto his foot. He hissed in pain and leaned down, to hold his toes with a frustrated groan.

Then he found it. The tray that had come loose had exposed a small space within the desk. There wasn´t much room to place anything, but when Baekhyun reached inside, his fingers wrapped around a thick envelope and he quickly pulled it free.

It was old, and a bit heavy and upon turning it in his hands, Baekhyun found the words ‘Project Oh – #20 – 2053 – Antivirus’ printed neatly on the surface. With furrowed brows, Baekhyun ripped the envelope open and spread the contents on the desk. There wasn´t much; a few photos, files and something that looked like a broken computer chip. He eyed the photos; they all portrayed the same young man, thick brows, black hair and a stern face. He looked mature and serious but Baekhyun had no problem in telling that the man couldn´t be much older than him. In some of the pictures, he looked at the camera or parts of his body were shown more closely. One of them had zoomed in on a tattoo on his right shoulder blade that said ‘Liberty’. Two others though, looked like normal holiday-pictures; the same young man sitting at a table with strangers and smiling at them, seeming to be wrapped in a deep discussion.

Who was he? Baekhyun looked at the files next. Oh Sehun. His eyes hushed over letters and numbers, trying to make sense of all the information he was being fed and with every word, the wheels in his head turned further.

The thunder from outside roared through the room and Baekhyun felt the ground beneath his feet rattle but he didn´t even notice it. The files and pictures fell back down on the desk, as he let go of them in shock.

They had found a cure.

Whoever these people were, scientists or survivors, Baekhyun couldn´t tell, they had found a cure for the virus. It seemed to be connected to that Sehun-boy somehow. Baekhyun felt his breath come in deep and heavy waves and the tears in his eyes were like strangers to him as they began to flow. He didn´t know why he was crying. Maybe, because of relief and the thought that perhaps these very people were currently working on a cure, to end all of this. Or maybe, because of the doubt, that still played with a part of his mind. Why was the letter still here? Everything seemed way too messy, as if whoever had lived here hadn´t left the place voluntarily.

What if they were dead? What if the infected had gotten to them, before they could find a cure and every hope Baekhyun had had was for nothing?

All of a sudden, he couldn´t stay in that room anymore. As he wiped the tears from his face, Baekhyun rushed out of the room and closed the door tightly behind him. He still sniffed into the silence, frozen in place and trying to grasp what he had just found out about. Had the universe left him those files, just to mock him? To hand him a false hope and then rip it from him and finally make his mind collapse above his head? Or was it a sign, some kind of task?

He found himself too tired to think about it any longer and let his feet carry him towards the couch. Chanyeol slept in the bed, so it was only fair if Baekhyun took the couch. After all, the taller had spent his last night on naked stone. But there was something tugging at his heartstrings. He didn´t want to be alone now. Having Anthony by his side was at least a kind of comfort. But, the dog was nowhere in sight and Baekhyun could only guess he had joined Chanyeol already.

Without listening to the voice that told him to turn around, Baekhyun wiped a hand over his face and made his way towards the bedroom. The window of said room was still functional and it kept the storm at a numb distance. On top of the bed, Baekhyun could see the silhouette of a blanket-burrito through the darkness and he couldn´t help but sport a small smile. It still felt strange, to not be on his own anymore and he still had to get used to it.

But honestly speaking, he wouldn´t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That´s it for today! I hope you have an awesome week and get to see and experience a lot of great things <3 Read a lot, it keeps the mind healthy ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ 
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story so far! 
> 
> I love u lots <3 thanks for reading!!
> 
> Until next time…


	3. Underground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another step forward dear traveller! I hope you get to have an exciting time! Much love <3

Cold. That was the first thing he noticed, upon opening his eyes. Cold, followed by a thick blanket of unforgiving darkness. He could hear distant voices, sounds of objects breaking, as they hit the ground. Beneath his blanket, nothing could happen to him, that was what he liked to imagine but he was old enough to know that wasn´t the truth. It only took a hand to pull it away and he was exposed. Nothing stood between him and the inevitable danger; an inevitable death.

Suddenly, a heavy pressure broke through the blanket and right onto his shoulder. He screamed but it was a numb, weak sound, barely audible through the fabric. As it was ripped from his frame, Baekhyun found himself face to face with his sister. Her stare was frantic, her eyes filled to the brim with liquid stars. Everyone always thought that they looked a lot alike. Almost like twins. Baekhyun didn´t think so. Where he was round, she was sharp. Where she was pale, he wore a tan. What united them at that moment though was the bare panic.

“Get up Baek, we need to get out of here!” she screamed, already tugging him to his feet.

He wanted to scream back, resist and bury himself back beneath his blankets until he would wake up from this nightmare. But he couldn´t. His throat was rendered dry and his mind stripped of any reasonable thought. The only thing he could do was to follow his sister´s movements and try to navigate his limbs in some kind of way. Get out. That was all he could think about. Get out and find mom and dad. Get out. Get out, get out, get out.

He stumbled after his sister. She led him towards her room on the other end of the corridor. They were on the second floor and downstairs Baekhyun could hear the sounds of a fight loud and present in his ears now. Things were crashing, windows were bursting, people were screaming.

“Mom!” He called with his tears choking his voice down to a miserable excuse of a whimper.

“Come on Baekhyun!” his sister called again, ripping at the sleeve of his pyjama, “We need to leave!”

He couldn´t; couldn´t bear the thought of leaving them behind, “B-but mom and-“

“They´re gone Baek, we can´t help them.” she cried and Baekhyun felt how his heart shattered by his feet and as he followed his sister towards her room, numb to the world, he felt how its´ remains stayed behind. In that cursed house. On that cursed day.

The siblings stumbled towards their destination, propelled solemnly by the dreadful sound of footsteps climbing the staircase and a primal instinct to survive. Slamming the door shut behind her, Baekhyun´s sister moved to push her desk right in front of it, to block out the intruders. In the next second, she was by the bed, pulling the mattress from its´ frame with all the force she could offer with her thin arms. And Baekhyun could only stare. Couldn´t move a muscle, couldn´t shake the thoughts of his parents.

In the next second, his sister had shoved the mattress out of the window, where it landed on their wet lawn, “You need to jump Baek. Quick!”

There was a deafening banging against the door and Baekhyun felt himself flinch. It was like he wasn´t even inside his body anymore. He had no control; could only let his sister push him towards the window frame. She repeated her words over and over again. Jump, Baekhyun, jump. Get out, get out, get out.

Finally, he found his senses and climbed the windowsill. Behind his head, he could faintly hear his sister scream but her voice was dulled, as if it came to him from a far distance away. His heartbeat drowned every other sound out; even the loud and inhuman groaning from the other side of the door, or the brutal crashes of the wood starting to split beneath heavy fists.

“Jump Baekhyun!” he heard her shout again, felt her hands at his waist, pushing with a careful but insistent force.

He took a deep breath, let the air flood his lungs and didn´t even waste a glance at the mattress that laid a good 15 feet beneath him. His legs didn´t even strain, he merely let go of the surface he had grabbed to hold on and stumbled over the edge. He fell, somewhere between eternity and a breath, before he felt his back crash with the ground. It knocked the air out his lungs and he was momentarily numbed.

His sight was laced with blurry tears and his entire frame was shaking, unable to develop some kind of calmness. He scrambled to his feet, like a scared animal, tumbling over his own feet. Then he looked up and he felt the blood leave his veins and seep back into the planet.

“Run! Run Baekhyun, don´t- don´t turn back!” his sister screamed, as pale, dirty hands pulled at her body.

He couldn´t move. Every rational thought, he could have had, was stolen from him, by the cold fingers of fear and pain. Jump, please! He wanted to shout but his throat was sealed shut, allowing neither his voice nor air to pass, until he felt dizzy.

“Save yourself!” she shouted again, as a cold hand finally grasped at her throat and pulled her back even more.

Her hand was still holding on tight at the window frame, refusing to let go, even as the first infected rammed its´ teeth into her neck, refusing to put her life into the hands of this curse. This virus. It was a kind of bravery and strength, Baekhyun wouldn´t ever see again. And it was the last thing he ever saw of his family; the last face. The last voice he ever heard.

Turning around, he ran like the devil had taken a hold of his body. Running, until his head felt dizzy, until his lungs were empty of air and he couldn´t feel his legs anymore. He ran, when he heard his sister scream behind him; ran, when the moon seemed to come closer and closer, threatening to suffocate him under his weight. He ran from everything.

But not fast enough, he realized, as a cold hand made contact with the skin on his naked arms. At first it could have been the biting cold of the winter night but when his eyes flickered, he saw dead skin, bones laying bare and scratching against his own flushed skin. Death was coming for him. The grip tightened. He heard a last scream from somewhere far away and it sounded distinctly like his own.

\--*--

He woke up with a rabbit running in circles within his ribcage and his eyes blinded by white. With deliberate movements, Baekhyun pushed himself into a sitting position and groaned at the dull pain in his limbs. It had to be from the chase. They had almost gotten to him but he had managed to loose them. His sister! Baekhyun had to turn back and look for her.

He shook his head then, as realization hit him like a frying pan to the face. The pain was fuelled by yesterday´s strain and the racing of his heart was a product of his own subconscious.

There was no use in turning back and looking for his family, he had done so three years ago. All he had found was Anthony, Taehyung and a new bunch of infected locked in the house.

Next to him, something moved and it startled him enough to flinch. Until Anthony´s wet nose appeared from beneath the covers and his big blue eyes stared at Baekhyun with friendly warmth. Smiling, Baekhyun ran his fingers through the comfort of soft fur and allowed the sweet, familiar atmosphere to calm his racing heart back to a steady pace.

When his senses finally returned, he was hit with a strong scent that elicited a loud growl from his stomach. It was as if he was thrown back in time, back to five years ago, at the breakfast table and he almost got whiplash from the memory.

Just, when Baekhyun was about to question his sanity, Chanyeol appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, “Ah you´re up!”

“Wha- How late is it?” Baekhyun asked, noticing the heavy rasp in his voice.

“Around ten, I´d say.” the taller replied, as he rummaged through Baekhyun´s backpack, only to pull out a pocket knife a few seconds later, “I figured I´d let you sleep in a little.”

As he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, Baekhyun mumbled silently: “I thought you were in a hurry.”

“Yeah well…”

Something about Chanyeol´s expression was unsettling to Baekhyun. It wasn´t exactly panic but somehow Chanyeol seemed nervous… or was he embarrassed?

“What?” he asked sternly.

It took a few seconds and a heavy sigh for Chanyeol to answer: “I figured you needed some rest. You were thrashing around and moaning in your sleep” he explained and Baekhyun immediately looked down at his hands in embarrassment, “I woke up in the middle of the night and saw you were crying. You wouldn´t stay still until I hugged you.”

“Y-you, uhm”, Baekhyun gulped, wishing he never would have asked, “You hugged me?”

To Chanyeol, the whole situation seemed a lot less embarrassing than to Baekhyun, “Well, yeah. Anthony was terrified out of his mind. Did you have nightmares?”

“Of a sort.” Baekhyun replied, knowing fully well that his answer was pretty vague. Then, in an attempt to change the subject he asked: “Am I still dreaming or is that smell bacon?”

Chanyeol´s expression immediately lit up and he scrambled to get back into the kitchen, from where he shouted: “I couldn´t believe it myself but, there was a whole package of dried bacon in the storage room. I also found some oil and a gas cooker.”

As Baekhyun moved to stand up, he felt his legs still shaky beneath his frame. The remains of the nightmare were still chasing him, like every morning. What was different this time though, was that someone had been there to see it, other than Anthony. Anthony… he felt the guilt eat at his heart. He had obviously scared his friend to hell and back but the sweet boy was still by his side, nudging his legs with his nose to spend some kind of comfort. Where would Baekhyun be without him? He didn´t even want to imagine.

As he finally found his balance, Baekhyun walked into the kitchen. Chanyeol stood at the counter, a fork in his hand and trying to turn the strips of dried bacon inside the sea of crackling oil. There was a slight frown to his eyebrows and a small pout to his lips that stirred a warm feeling inside Baekhyun´s chest that he didn´t want to read into too much.

“It´s obviously not as tasty as fresh bacon but”, Chanyeol started dividing the pieces onto two plates, “Considering we´re in the middle of the world´s end, I guess you take what you get, eh?”

He set the plates down at the table and Baekhyun sat down in front of him. Without hesitation, Chanyeol bent down to feed Anthony a piece and Baekhyun felt himself smile at the sight. Somehow, he wished they had known each other before the apocalypse. They would have made a great team. Just as good as now.

Shaking his head, Baekhyun concentrated on the meal. It was incredible. As if he tasted bacon for the first time in his life, after not having eaten in days. He didn´t even mind that it wasn´t fresh bacon, the taste was legendary. Soon, he had finished his plate, throwing Chanyeol an embarrassed glance, as he noticed Chanyeol still had a piece left. He hadn´t even enjoyed it to its´ fullest but he didn´t regret it either. Chanyeol gave him an amused glance and after a moment of thought, he picked up his piece of bacon and placed it on Baekhyun´s plate.

He wanted to refuse, telling Chanyeol that he obviously deserved the food way more than he did, but the taller beat him to it: “Eat it. I won´t miss it if only I get to see that expression on your face again.”

Baekhyun didn´t even know what to answer, could only flush bright red at the words and let Chanyeol giggle at him. It was a precious sound and Baekhyun felt the rabbit in his heart start to race again. However, this time it wasn´t because of fear.

“Thank you”, he whispered and started to munch on the bacon.

Soon, they had finished the meal and Chanyeol´s light-hearted expression turned back into a serious one: “I suggest we leave as soon as possible, the sun is high today but I´m not sure how much damage the storm has caused.”

“How far is it to the storage buildings?” Baekhyun asked, allowing Anthony to lick the remains of bacon and fat from his fingers with an absent mind.

“If the road is clear, it´s a five-hour-walk at a steady pace.” Chanyeol answered, “But we should plan in a time-cushion, in case something blocks our way. There´s another bridge to cross to get to our destination and if that one isn´t intact anymore, we´ll have to switch to the underground.”

At that, Baekhyun´s head whipped up, “The underground? That´s suicide, Chanyeol.”

“Nonetheless, if the bridge is broken down, it´s our only way across the river.”

He wanted to disagree, wanted to tell Chanyeol that they had to think of something else, but Baekhyun knew better than that. They only had these two options left, otherwise they would be trapped between the two rivers, that ran through the city. So, he agreed, with a sour expression and they soon started to pack their things. They allowed themselves to steal most of the resources, still stored in their shelter and even found a second backpack for Chanyeol to carry. The chance was high that there was no one else who needed the stuff anymore anyways.

When Chanyeol was busy with stuffing a blanket into his backpack, Baekhyun took the chance to disappear into the study a last time. Rummaging through the files, still spread on top of the desk, he gathered everything he deemed important and stuffed it into his backpack. He had yet to show them to Chanyeol, he realized and decided to do so as soon as he could.

Then, they were ready to go.

Before Baekhyun followed Chanyeol downstairs to the secret exit however, he stopped in his tracks. His eyes hushed over to the REC7 and he contemplated in silence for a moment. Downstairs, Chanyeol already called his name, pushing him to move on. Without giving himself another second to think about it, Baekhyun reached for the firearm and slung it around his shoulder, alongside his backpack.

“You´re taking it with you?” Chanyeol asked, as he noticed the new addition to Baekhyun´s frame.

He didn´t even stop to look at Chanyeol, only passed his friend and stepped through the door, “You never know.”

In a matter of seconds, they were back on the streets and Baekhyun couldn´t hold back a shiver. The world was barely recognizable. Just yesterday, their surroundings had consisted of mere car-wrecks and broken trashcans every now and then. Now, the situation looked completely different.

Buildings had collapsed, most of the cars were fragmented to their core and the streets were covered with dirt. Not a single street sign had remained standing and there were still a few water trails travelling through the chevrons of the city. If this place had been destroyed before, it was devastated now. Baekhyun didn´t even want to think about what would have happened to him and Anthony, if they had stayed in his makeshift camp inside the bridge.

“Damn…” Baekhyun could hear Chanyeol whisper beside him, “It´s a miracle our house managed to stay.” he then added, pointing his finger at a huge tree that had crashed right into the middle of a three-story apartment building.

“We were lucky, things didn´t turn out worse.” Baekhyun answered and started moving.

Without most of the street signs or any other navigation, they had a hard time to find the right path but they managed the journey without too many troubles. Truth be told, Baekhyun realized he never thought they would come this far. Considering, he had thought Chanyeol to be an obstacle, rather than a helpful hand. Now though, he couldn´t help himself but to question what they would do if Chanyeol´s friends actually weren´t there anymore. How would Chanyeol even react? And if they actually found them, would they even be willing to take Baekhyun and Anthony along? Or would they leave them on their own?

No, considering the type of person Chanyeol had turned out to be, Baekhyun couldn´t imagine that people he called his friends would actually be capable of such an attitude. If they even sheltered half of the kindness Chanyeol possessed, they wouldn´t leave him on the streets like that.

Finally, after three hours of wandering, the small group reached the outer skirts of the city.

“Oh my god.” Baekhyun breathed and then as the panic seared through his being, he couldn´t help himself but to add a loud: “Fuck!”

The bridge was gone. Broken into an unrecognizable stone-corpse, thanks to the storm. He could see its´ remains between the soft waves of the river, deformed like a ghost and it almost felt like he was being mocked by a higher being, right above his head.

“There”, Chanyeol pointed at something at the edge of the bridge´s remains, “The storm must have slammed one of the river-ferries right into it´s supporting pillars. I had an idea that this could have happened.”

With a deep sigh and a pleading gaze at the sky, Baekhyun dropped himself onto the edge of a sidewalk, “Fantastic. And what now?”

There was a moment of tense silence and although Baekhyun instantly hoped he would get a different answer, he knew exactly what Chanyeol was about to say: “There´s still the underground-tunnels.”

“They might be flooded.” No feeling in the world would have grasped how much Baekhyun did not want to go to this place.

But Chanyeol was not having it: “They were built beneath the river, therefore they were constructed to avoid exactly that. There´s some kind of drain-system that is designed for exact purposes like this one.”

“What if they´ve collapsed?” A last attempt. He didn´t want to go there.

“They might just have”, Chanyeol shrugged and for the first time Baekhyun noticed just how much Chanyeol didn´t want to go into the underground either. It almost made him feel foolish – cowardly, “but if they haven´t, they´ll get us to the other side.”

He couldn´t help the scoff in his voice, as he answered: “Yeah, if we ever make it out of them.”

They shared another minute of nervous silence, Anthony looking from one to the other and back in a distressed manner. Baekhyun felt bad for making it so hard for Chanyeol. It was obvious that the taller wasn´t so keen on going down into the devil´s hellhole himself, yet there was no denying that it would probably the fastest way to the other side. If not, the only one they had left.

Baekhyun eyed the riffle in his hands. That time, when he had met the group of survivors, they had mentioned taking the underground tunnels as well. All of them had carried heavy weapons and bulletproof vests. But what does bulletproof protection do for you, if you´ll never meet a single bullet? What does a gun do for you, if your aim is already dead? Six weeks later, Baekhyun had found a bloody body near the entrance of the underground tunnels. Another week after that, he had recognized the first one of them in a group of infected. And the others followed suit.

He looked up at Chanyeol, with his tousled hair and slouched shoulders. Everything about him screamed ‘tired’ and for the first time, Baekhyun wondered if the taller really had woken up because of him or if he had been awake anyways. Without giving himself time to think, Baekhyun stood up and crossed the distance between them. Chanyeol stood there, ready to take on the darkness with him, and Baekhyun was showing the white feather just because he was scared.

With a gentle amount of pressure, Baekhyun squeezed Chanyeol´s shoulder, earning himself a look of surprise, “I´m sorry.” The taller eased into his touch; “I know you´re just as disgusted by the prospect of going down there and I´m not making it easy for you. We´ll-” he gulped and gathered his strength to finish his sentence, “We´ll go.”

He didn´t expect an answer and none came. Chanyeol merely looked at him with something Baekhyun couldn´t quite decipher. Both of them seemed unable to look away and Baekhyun´s hand didn´t move away either. However, it was Chanyeol who made the first move and pulled Baekhyun closer into a tight embrace. For a second, Baekhyun felt brutal shivers run through his body and he tensed. Then, after a few seconds of Chanyeol´s calm breath in the air, Baekhyun let his walls break down and wrapped his arms around his friend´s frame. Allowed Chanyeol´s warmth and comfort to seep into his bones.

“We´ll get through this.” he whispered near Chanyeol´s ear and immediately felt how his grip tightened around his ribcage, “I´ll protect you.”

\--*--

The entrance to the underground looked like a monster´s mouth. Grids at the corners loomed at the corners, like teeth and the reflection of the sun in the windows budged like the evil tip of a poisonous tongue. Baekhyun even thought he could see a pair of yellow eyes, until he recognized them as stoplights at the back of an old car.

All of a sudden, Baekhyun detached the gun from his shoulder and handed to Chanyeol, without even a glance, “You take it.”

He could feel his friend´s confused gaze on him, “Why?”

“First: you got better aim than me.” He bit down on his cheek to hold back the frightened tears, that threatened to break free, “Second: I don´t trust myself with that thing. So, just give me some rear cover. And remember:” now, he looked at Chanyeol, “Do not shoot, if it´s not an emergency. They will hear it from a mile. And they will come.”

A curt nod from Chanyeol was all that it took for Baekhyun to turn back towards the entrance. With deliberate steps, he made his way down the stairs, feeling Anthony´s presence right next to him and Chanyeol´s just a step behind him. When they were far enough to not see their hands in front of their eyes, Baekhyun pulled out the gas lamp. He prayed that the fuel would suffice; otherwise they would be stuck in pitch-black darkness and no way to restore their light.

With every step he took, the echo bounced off the walls and Baekhyun couldn´t help but to flinch at the sound. Through the darkness, it was almost like they were walking through materialized silence, full of secrets and a tension so tight it felt like a cord strung around your throat. Half of Baekhyun´s being told him to run like hell, the other to stay where he was and not make a sound. But neither of these options were a possibility. They had to push forward and they had to do it slow and careful.

Following the steps downward, it only took them a matter of mere minutes to get down to the actual station. Everywhere, remains of civilisation laid in shattered memories and every now and then, the light of their gas lamp even grazed what looked like bodies.

It brought a sick feeling to his stomach and a raging dizziness to his head.

With a deep inhale Baekhyun let himself drop down onto the tracks, careful not to lodge on one of the metal bars. Anthony followed right after with a bit of hesitation and after handing Baekhyun the lamp, Chanyeol followed as well. Despite the knowledge that the train would never even move an inch again, Baekhyun couldn´t help but to glance into the darkness on both of his sides. Then, he nodded in the direction that they needed to take and Chanyeol was back at his side, as they stumbled down the tunnel.

They walked for almost ten minutes, until their light hit another wall. For a short moment, Baekhyun almost panicked, thinking they had hit a dead-end at last. However, as he inspected the wall more closely, he could make out a small window and the black outlines of a door. The train.

“Must have been on its´ way to the other side, when the power went out”, Chanyeol whispered.

Baekhyun held the gas lamp a bit higher and mustered the train, “No.” he gulped and: “I think that the bridge might have collapsed a little longer ago than we thought. Must have wrecked the whole tunnel as well, it´s a miracle there´s no water flooding in. It got buried and stuck.”

After a while of silence, in which Baekhyun didn´t manage to press out the whole truth, Chanyeol asked: “Meaning?”

“Meaning: If any people were in that train, they either got squished to death, suffocated or got infected.” he could feel his shoulders tense, Chanyeol´s alongside, “Either way, they´re still in there.”

Stepping a bit closer towards the door of the train, Baekhyun threw a short glance through the window. The pane was covered in dust but he could still make out the insides of the train, even with the dim light. He could definitely see where the rocks above had hit the top. The metal had bent involuntarily, until it almost touched the floor. Almost. He was sure that they could squeeze their way through if they had to, even if that meant the worst claustrophobic experience that they would ever have.

The only thing that worried Baekhyun was: “I´m not sure, what´s on the other side.”, then he turned back towards Chanyeol, whose eyebrows laid furrowed in grim understanding, “But it´s the only way we can go, so be prepared for anything.”

After a tight breath, Chanyeol nodded and Baekhyun pulled at the door. It was jammed and he put a bit more force into his grip. After a few attempts, it creaked open with a deafening, rough sound. He only opened it wide enough for them to squeeze through. With a slight hint of panic, he grabbed onto Anthony´s fur, scared the dog would just run off into his curiosity.

But Anthony stayed in place, head raised high, eyes wide and his ears perked up ears. Chanyeol was next to him after a bit of huffing and squeezing and they looked around themselves. Then, Baekhyun kneeled and bent down to look through the crack beneath the bent metal. It was definitely high enough to push through, about Anthony´s shoulder height but as he looked closer, the blood in his veins ran cold at the object that the gaslight captured.

Never before had he wanted to destroy anything out of frustration as much as now.

“What´s u-“ Chanyeol couldn´t even end his sentence and Baekhyun had already covered his mouth with a palm.

He motioned to the opening and Chanyeol looked through. Baekhyun watched him closely, could see the slight sick feeling he must have sported upon discovering the countless dead bodies on the other side. He neither had any difficulties, telling when Chanyeol´s eyes fell on the two infected, standing silently in the room.

Baekhyun had understood immediately, upon looking at them; If the infected didn´t eat for a while, they usually fell into a kind of coma, where they stood silently and un-responding to their surroundings. He had witnessed it himself, as he had climbed a huge glass-roof: a group of them standing in an empty storage hall, not moving a muscle. Then he had accidentally kicked down a rock. The sound was barely audible but loud enough to shake them all into a screaming frenzy.

He really felt like crying.

“What now?” Chanyeol´s voice had grown impossibly smaller and Baekhyun still shivered at the pitch.

All the wheels in his brain turned, trying out hundreds and hundreds of possibilities to get past them, “They´ll only wake up if we make a sound.” he answered then, “We could…”

He didn´t dare to finish, “You want to walk past them?!”

Immediately, Baekhyun flinched and motioned Chanyeol to keep it down, “There´s no other choice, if you want to find your friends and get out of the city.”

“But that’s mad.”

“Mad circumstances, demand mad consequences.” he answered with as much confidence as he could muster.

“Great”, Chanyeol mumbled sarcastically, “Did you write that into your yearbook too?”

For the first time, since Baekhyun had gotten to know Chanyeol he actually looked pissed. Maybe though, he was just as frustrated and scared shitless as Baekhyun was. In which case, he couldn´t really hold it against him. He suddenly felt the urge to touch Chanyeol. Tell him it would be fine. And in the darkness and silence of the underground, he finally allowed himself to do just that:

“Listen” he whispered, his free hand finding Chanyeol´s cheek, so warm and soft beneath his palm, “I promised, I´d protect you. I´ll keep that promise, okay? I won´t allow anything to harm you.”

It almost seemed like the taller was pulling a bit of faith from Baekhyun´s touch. He just hoped he had enough left for the both of them. Then, after a bob of his Adam´s apple and an unsteady sigh, Chanyeol asked into the silence: “What if I don´t want you to get harmed either?”

“Then I won´t.” Baekhyun answered.

He contemplated putting a promise on his words but he decided against it. Promising to keep someone safe, no matter the circumstances felt a lot easier than promising to stay alive.

But Chanyeol, sweet Chanyeol, still believed him. Even in the flickering light that drenched the train wagon in oddly misplaced warmth, his eyes shone like a pair of suns. Just a week ago, Baekhyun never would have thought he could hold onto anything like he did onto this heart beating in front of him. Maybe, it was because Chanyeol was the first person he had met in years. Maybe, his loneliness demanded closeness to make up for the lost time. Maybe, he was desperate for someone to give him a feeling of home, regardless of who it was. Maybe, if they had met before the apocalypse, Baekhyun wouldn´t have developed that tight bond, which he needed so much now.

He didn´t care. None of this mattered. What mattered was that Chanyeol was here, eyes so big and hopeful, so filled to the brim with trust in Baekhyun that he felt ready to conquer the whole world. He needed this feeling. They both needed it. And he didn´t care, where it came from or why it was here. He just held on to it.

With a last inhale of Chanyeol´s by now familiar scent, Baekhyun pulled his hands back and steadied himself. In no time, he was pressed to the floor, eyes glancing through the crack that he was about to squeeze through. As expected, the infected were still in the same place, mumbling unintelligible words into the dark.

The first slide was more than painful. It felt like the bridge was suddenly weighted down onto his back and with every inch that he pulled himself further, Baekhyun felt like the weight got heavier. Which was impossible of course, but fear was a dangerous mind-game.

Behind him, he sensed Anthony fidget a little and could only hope that Chanyeol had grabbed him just to make sure. He couldn´t have his friend slide in next to him or they would probably get stuck. Or worse, Anthony would make it through before him and wake the infected.

Finally, when his head came free, the weight on top of him lightened again and Baekhyun allowed himself to breathe deeply. Even that sounded too loud in his ears. In front of him, he could see one of the infected´s feet shuffle a little and he barely had a heart attack, when it made a louder sound. It sounded like a growl, as if a bear´s snout was breathing right into his ear.

He held onto the ground, unmoving for a moment, before he resumed pressing himself through the opening. The breath escaped him in a hurry, as he finally got to his feet, pulling his foot out of the crack and stepping into the new opening. He signed Chanyeol to let go of Anthony and follow. It was easy for the dog to slide through the crack and Baekhyun managed to get a good grip on his fur, before he could escape any further than necessary.

Chanyeol though, had a different kind of problem. He was considerably taller than Baekhyun after all and the latter had already had difficulties with getting through the small space. He could almost hear Chanyeol curse in his mind but the air remained silent enough to hear a leaf fall.

He just hoped they would see leaves again at some point.

After an agonizing amount of time, they finally stood in the room, side by side. Chanyeol´s breath was heavy and Baekhyun couldn´t blame him. It seemed like a miracle that there was still a bit of oxygen down here. Baekhyun took the gas lamp and turned it down, until there was nothing left to the eye, except mere schemes. He wasn´t sure, how the infected would react to light, but they couldn´t risk anything at this point. They were imprisoned in a matter of metres with two infected and a horde of corpses who could still decide to get up and give them a not-so-kind smile.

Baekhyun felt his breath come ragged, if he didn´t work this out, they would suffocate before they could escape anyways. One step at a time. As if walking on thin glass, Baekhyun pressed forward in what seemed to be slow motion. He felt Anthony flinch slightly, as he too discovered the infected in the corners of the wagon and his grip tightened subconsciously. Anthony was definitely the biggest risk in the room, if he decided to bark, they´d all be done for.

Chanyeol´s hand was on his shoulder, as to not loose him and Baekhyun shivered a little at how much the other shook. He had to keep a cool head now, if he didn´t he couldn´t be sure anyone else would. Witnessing Chanyeol so scared did something to his chest. It constricted, pulled in weird directions, forming the need to protect him at all cost, out of the clay of his own fear. His breath evened; his hands stopped shaking and his mind cleared. No more fear.

Protect.

Baekhyun watched the infected, as they moved forward, the door to the driver´s cabinet already in sight. If they could reach it, they´d almost be in a safe distance. The infected would take a while to wiggle their way through the opening and meanwhile they could either run for the end of the tunnel or hide somewhere. He didn´t have the nerve to plan anything beyond that. He didn´t feel like it had any use to do so anyways.

After an eternity, he could finally feel the door handle of the driver´s cabinet beneath his fingers, cold metal shaking him into a state of nervous ecstasy. Behind him, he could hear the infected growl a little louder than before. They froze in their positions, even Anthony remaining unmoving, and looked over their shoulder. One of them had fallen back into their statue-like behaviour, the other… not so much.

Her brunette hair covered her face, making it impossible to get a closer look at her face, especially in the dim light but Baekhyun didn´t dear to increase the brightness. She twitched, in an inhuman way, barely moving normally and Baekhyun knew that they didn´t have a lot of time.

So, without hesitation, he turned back to the door and pulled at the handle. Nothing.

“We have to break it down.” he whispered into Chanyeol´s ear.

Even before he answered, Baekhyun could tell from the expression on Chanyeol´s face that the giant wasn´t necessarily fond of the idea, “Are you crazy?”

If he got a can of food for every time Chanyeol had asked him that question, Baekhyun doubted they would ever have to experience hunger again, “We have to, the door is jammed but I think we can get it open. YOU can get it open.”

“Me?” Baekhyun nodded.

Their silence was short-lived, as one look at the brunette infected was enough for Chanyeol to nod his head in defeat. They switched places, Baekhyun taking the REC7 from Chanyeol and covering his back with a nervous gulp. He really didn´t want to use this thing but he figured in a worst-case scenario, what he wanted didn´t matter much.

“I´ll count.” Chanyeol whispered and Baekhyun nodded, even though he doubted Chanyeol could see it.

“One”, the infected´s grey face turned towards Baekhyun and he could feel the sweat gathering in icy pearls on his temple.

Her feet slid over the ground, barely lifting as the figure stalked her way over. Baekhyun couldn´t tell if she had already noticed them but he didn´t think there was much time left, in case she hadn´t. His finger on the trigger itched to pull back and send a horde of bullets through her moulded brain but he remained frozen.

“Two”, even Chanyeol seemed to loose his nerves at this point, considering the way his voice quivered like he was shaken by an earthquake.

Baekhyun raised the weapon closer to his chest, pointing the muzzle directly at the woman´s head. Two steps, he told himself. If she took just two more steps, he would pull the trigger, despite everything they had agreed on. Despite his own warning. Yes, other infected could hear the gunshot and come to join the hunt but that wouldn´t matter much if the woman had already thrown herself around his throat.

“…Three!”

A deafening crash sounded behind Baekhyun, echoing through the whole train like a dragon roaring in the depths of its´ cave. The infected lunged at him but he bumped the knob of his gun against her head, throwing her off balance for a moment long enough to follow Chanyeol out of the train´s door. The giant had already leaped through the opening and when Baekhyun jumped after him, he was there to support him before he could stumble. Then, he pushed him forward, calling for him to run.

And run, they did. As if the devil was breathing down their necks.

There was barely anything to see, except a small, white light at the end of the tunnel. Ironic enough, Baekhyun thought, as he tasted the sourness of exhaustion enough, it looked like they were running towards heaven. He almost turned to see if he saw his life flashing past but all he found was Chanyeol, a few feet behind him. The collision of their feet with the ground hammered through the underground tunnel, together with something so terrifying, Baekhyun knew it would follow him through his dreams. Their screams in his ear, he could feel them breathe down his neck and suddenly he was back there.

There, in that god forsaken night, his sister calling for him to run and the hands of infected reaching for the seam of his sleeve. The next second everything morphed into the inside of that stupid car, the water of the river rushing beneath his feet. They were always right behind him, there was no escape. What use was there in running? His family was dead, his best friend was dead, and he hadn´t been able to save neither of them. Why was he even pushing on? He should let them rip him apart until his bruised and beaten heart finally could stop hurting. Then he could see them again in heaven.

“Baekhyun!” Suddenly, all the different voices and screams turned into only one; deeper, more scared, more insistent and more desperate.

He looked up, big puppy eyes greeting him through burning tears. Eyes, so full of misplaced hope that Baekhyun felt something surreal blur the edges of his mind. Something surreal, like a new path.

“We have to go, come on!” Chanyeol shouted and only then, did Baekhyun notice he had stopped running.

He whirled around and found a horde of infected lurching in the dark. The white light at the end of the tunnel had grown a lot bigger, he noticed. They were almost there. With newfound clearness in his mind, Baekhyun took a steady hold of Chanyeol´s arm and pulled hard, running towards the exit even faster than before. The infected were still stunned from their long sleep, slowing themselves down by stumbling and shaking and the small drop of hope that Baekhyun had caught with his hand grew into a puddle, a river and an entire ocean.

The stone escaped beneath their feet and made them stumble, the wind that flew into the underground tunnel pushed them back in but they pressed on. Together, fighting the earth´s given obstacles. Chanyeol´s panting was so loud, Baekhyun could barely hear the infected’s´ groaning anymore. Anthony wasn´t better, his tongue hung out of his mouth and he seemed panicked beyond sanity, with his eyes opened so wide, they could have popped out of their sockets at any given moment. His own heart seemed to have stopped, not a trace of movement beneath his chest and he almost had a mind to worry.

They broke into the sunlight, the warmth caressing Baekhyun´s cheek with so much comfort, it seemed like an old friend. He was almost naïve enough to stop moving but thankfully, Chanyeol grabbed his hand and pulled him further, knowing the sun was not the end, knowing they still had a little bit to go. And Baekhyun followed, like a mannequin without a brain, like a doll without a thought.

Chanyeol guided them up the grassy seams of the underground rails, catching Baekhyun when he fell in his dazed state and pulling Baekhyun up further, when his breath started to taste sour and the vomit stung in his throat. Anthony was ahead of them, waiting and running in scared circles, almost out of his mind. But he waited. He waited for Baekhyun.

He waited for them.

Finally reaching the edge of the underground rails, Chanyeol threw a quick gaze down towards the infected, who were now trying to follow them up their path, “They´re slowed down for the moment. We have to find somewhere to hide.”

Baekhyun only heard half of it, his mind already racing a running horse for possibilities. They were far beyond the river now and there were barely any buildings in the area. His eyes darted across the area; heart thumping hard enough to even hit his throat and the adrenaline set his whole body on fire.

“There!” he exclaimed, his finger pointing towards a small brown dot, that turned out to be a barn upon looking closer.

Chanyeol only nodded in exchange and they were running again, passing crashed cars, old remains of camping places and other signs of long lost civilization. Compared to the run in the underground tunnel, the distance of the barn seemed like a single breath and soon, they ripped the big, wooden doors open and slammed them shut.

Silence followed, only filled with heavy breathing. The fog in Baekhyun´s mind started to clear and he slumped against the closed doors, Chanyeol following suit. When he turned his head, Chanyeol was looking at him, his hair dishevelled, his chest rising and falling at the speed of light. His mouth was slightly agape, lips chapped and warm air breaking through them and Baekhyun couldn´t stop himself from letting his gaze linger there for a second too long.

He was about to make himself get up and check their surroundings, when he noticed Chanyeol hurriedly sloughing the backpack. It made him stop, made him wonder long enough to give Chanyeol the needed time to move closer. Something in Baekhyun understood then, and his hands reached forward, at the same time as Chanyeol´s did.

They fell into each other, lips meeting in need, driven by adrenaline and a whole spectrum of emotions. It wasn´t graceful with their teeth clacking and lips splitting open in the rush of the moment, until Chanyeol´s hands lowered to Baekhyun´s tiny waist and pulled him closer. Baekhyun let him, without even a thought of hesitation, settling down in Chanyeol´s lap and wrapping his arms around the taller´s neck, to pull him even that little bit closer. His fingers found the fine hair in his nape, tangling in it, holding on.

As the kiss slowed down it turned into something different: something more meaningful and lighter. Chanyeol´s hand had moved to cup Baekhyun´s cheek and he recognized the warmth of the sun grazing his skin. He never would have thought he would ever kiss another human again. And even if he would, he never imagined it to feel so natural, so necessary.

When they broke apart, Baekhyun´s face drove right into Chanyeol´s neck, resting there, hiding there. Chanyeol didn´t push him away, he only held him closer and let him shiver all the fear, all the adrenaline out of his system, until Baekhyun felt like a heavy sack of flour. And he felt so, so thankful.

But even then, did he not have the heart to let go. Finally having someone close again, after all these years, someone he could trust – it felt addicting and almost too good to be true. Like a dream. It made him hold on tighter, almost desperate, like a little child, holding on to its´ family. Because that was what Chanyeol had grown to become, he realized at that moment: his family.

His new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter as well! My dear traveller, thank you so much for coming this far with me! 
> 
> Also I´d really really appreciate some comments <3 They keep me going, help me and motivate me to get better at writing!! 
> 
> Much love from the Author! Good luck for the meantime and I´ll see you next time! <3 XOXO


	4. Allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my son got impatient about the update, therefore my dear traveller, I´m afraid your rest will be a lot shorter than anticipated. I hope you get to enjoy the trip still <3<3 
> 
> I love you, Son 
> 
> And Dina, I love you too, hope you´re not scared <3<3

“If we walk fast, we should be there in about two hours.” Chanyeol mumbled, eyebrows furrowed, as his gaze wandered the map in his hands.

Nodding his head, Baekhyun adjusted the backpack, he had insisted on carrying, “I think we´re unlikely to run into any infected on the way too, there´s only landscape ahead, not really a place bursting with civilization.”

With an approving hum, Chanyeol rolled up the map and stuffed it into a side pocket of the backpack and fell back into step next to Baekhyun. Within seconds, he had Baekhyun´s hand in his own and the smaller did his best not to seem affected.

They hadn´t talked about it; the tension, the kiss, the cuddling through the night – none of it. But Baekhyun didn´t really mind, just fed on every single gesture of affection Chanyeol sent his way. Admittedly, he had thought about kissing the taller very often. When they had eaten breakfast. When Chanyeol had gone to the river to wash his shirt and Baekhyun had gotten a glimpse of his smooth chest. Even when Chanyeol had just looked at him a second longer than necessary, the thought had crossed his mind.

It had simply felt too good. There was still too much electricity in Baekhyun´s limbs, making him fidget and gravitate closer towards Chanyeol than necessary. He wondered if Chanyeol felt the same and didn’t just act on his adrenaline the day before. Baekhyun´s mind kept reminding him that it was a likely possibility. That maybe, he was suffocating Chanyeol with this new thing, this new air between them that couldn´t be cleared out anymore. But then, whenever Chanyeol did things like this – Grasp his hand for no good reason or rest his head on his shoulder just because he could – the doubts disappeared into thin air.

“I can´t wait for you to meet them.” Chanyeol said, his voice dreamy and his mind high in the clouds.

Baekhyun took the brief moment of Chanyeol´s absence to study his sharp jawline, “I bet they´re great.”

“They are.” The other agreed and his thumb softly stroked the skin on Baekhyun´s hand, “We used to hang out a lot before… everything.” Then, after a short pause he added: “You know, we went to college together. It was always the three of us.”

“Sounds like heaven.” Baekhyun mumbled and he tried not to give the jolt of pain to his heart too much attention.

“It was.” he rambled on, “When everyone else went to get drunk and party, we liked to stay at the dorms and play video games or do movie marathons. Sometimes Luhan would join in too.”

Baekhyun spared his companion a worried glance. Chanyeol had mentioned that name before but something about the way he seemed to cave into himself at the words, told Baekhyun enough to not ask further. He figured, if Chanyeol felt the need to, he would confide in him. The same way, he would do himself.

“He was kind of a Drama Queen, you know? Totally opposite to Minseok but they still worked together.” he shrugged, shoulders rising a bit again, when Baekhyun gave a soft squeeze to his hand, “We worked well in general, the four of us. And I guess Kyungsoo, Minseok and me still did… or do, if we´re lucky?”

“You doubt we´ll find them?” Baekhyun questioned gently.

It took Chanyeol a second to answer this time, “No, I think that we´ll find back to each other, one way or another.”

Baekhyun bit down on his bottom lip and averted his gaze for a long moment. He tried not to let the feeling get to him; the feeling of being left out. What if he was in fact intruding something and they were going to leave him behind with Anthony anyways? He liked to believe that Chanyeol wasn´t the kind of person to do things like this, but he had always been a distrustful person, even before the apocalypse. Not to mention afterwards, when he had sworn to never trust any human soul again. Hell, there were days when he did not even trust himself.

Survival had never been a team sport to him, until Chanyeol had jumped into his life. To think that maybe he was wrong to trust the man was a sickening idea but Baekhyun couldn´t help the habits that had managed to keep him alive throughout the last years. After all, he knew better than to be this naïve. He knew better, than to believe Chanyeol was his knight in shining armour, who had finally come to save him from the darkness. Because, no matter how Baekhyun looked at it; Chanyeol was still just a random guy on a huge planet.

A human.

“Did you have any good friends before?” The words thankfully managed to rip Baekhyun out of his downwards spiral.

“I did.”

Chanyeol huffed out a laugh, “I bet you were super popular.”

Baekhyun couldn´t help the shy blush and small smile that crept on his face upon hearing this, “I did have a lot of friends, I guess. But…”

When he stopped, Chanyeol tilted his head in question and Baekhyun wanted to kiss him all over again, “But…?”

“Well, compared to Taehyung they were all more like… acquaintances I guess.” It was the first time Baekhyun had mentioned his best friend and it brought as sour of a taste, as expected.

Chanyeol seemed unsure whether to press for more as well, but he had always been more open than Baekhyun in that matter, “I bet he was an awesome guy.”

“He was. He…” Baekhyun gulped the memory down, like dried medicine, “He saved my life.”

Thankfully, Chanyeol didn´t press the topic any further this time and they continued on their way in silence. Baekhyun thought of things to say, wanted to share more conversation with the giant, before it wouldn´t just be the two of them anymore. The fear that maybe, when they found Chanyeol´s friends, he would be left behind was buried so deep into his heart that Baekhyun couldn´t stop himself from leaning even closer to the other´s frame than necessary. Chanyeol didn´t seem to mind, but he didn´t press back either.

True to Chanyeol´s words, they reached the next town within two hours. Baekhyun could already see their destination from miles away. The tall storage buildings stretched into the sky like gravestones and nearby, Baekhyun could spot a silhouette of what seemed to be an old factory of some sort.

When they were about a hundred metres away from the buildings, Chanyeol stopped in his tracks, his gaze heavy and pinned to their destination. Baekhyun gave him a worried once-over and watched with surprise how Chanyeol pulled the gun from his shoulder to hand it to him. Something didn´t seem right about the situation, but Baekhyun took the gun nonetheless.

“What´s up?” He asked, brows furrowed deep.

For a moment, Chanyeol didn´t move and it didn´t just set off Baekhyun, judging from his fretful shuffling, Anthony seemed to sense the heaviness in the air as well. Then, his eyes cast downwards, “If they´re not… ‘them’ anymore, I don´t think I´ll be able to do it.”

“Do w-?” he interrupted himself, before he could cut off the last string of strength that Chanyeol held onto.

The taller´s lips stretched into a small, thankful smile and Baekhyun could only nod, before he had to avert his eyes. There was no horror in the world, greater than the thought of having to kill your dearest friends. On top of it all, no one would be at fault; there would be no scapegoats, just the harsh reminder of reality.

“Let´s go.” Baekhyun mumbled at the gun in his hands and took the lead inside the building.

The doors had been jammed with wooden panels and upon peering inside, all Baekhyun found was silence and darkness. He threw another worried look at Chanyeol, when the taller wouldn´t notice. The question was, what would be worse to Chanyeol? To find his friends in a state of no return, their last wish on earth to eat his heart, or to find out they had left without him entirely?

Judging from the things Chanyeol had told him, Baekhyun doubted that Kyungsoo and Minseok were the types of people to just leave a friend behind, without regret. Then again, Baekhyun didn´t know how long they had been apart. The chances that both of them thought Chanyeol hadn´t made it were heavy and Baekhyun didn´t think he could blame them if they really had packed their things and moved on. He doubted Chanyeol wouldn´t understand either, but the weight of that knowledge must be a heavy one to carry.

Finally, when they had circled all of the buildings, Chanyeol called for him. Within seconds, Baekhyun and Anthony were by his side, firearm and sharp teeth ready just in case. The taller´s finger was pointed at what looked like a cellar door. There were scratches decorating the dark wood but it didn´t seem to be locked, like all the other doors, they had stumbled upon. Anthony´s tail was pulled between his legs, at the sigh and it gave Baekhyun an uneasy feeling.

Nonetheless, Baekhyun handed the gun to Chanyeol and crouched at the doors. They were built almost horizontal into the ground, therefore they probably led to a staircase. He gave a careful tug, listening to the wood groan under his grip but give in still. One look at Chanyeol told Baekhyun that they were in the right place. Stemming his hand against the lithic doorway, he put all his strength into pulling at the door handle. The rusty metal cut into his palms but he pressed on, finally jolting the entrance open. Anthony flinched, as Baekhyun fell back onto his butt, thanks to his own force. As expected, there was a long, stony staircase and as expected, they were greeted with utter darkness.

“Hello?!” Baekhyun called, the presence of their firearm right next to him, calming him down momentarily “Someone down there?!”.

He threw another glance up at Chanyeol, as if to ask ‘What do you think?’, “We should go down.”

The prospect elicited a heavy sigh from Baekhyun and he cringed at having to voice his thoughts: “Are you sure? I know you want to find them, Chan, but this could be a staircase into our own, personal doom.”

“We have to.” Chanyeol answered, a little too fast for Baekhyun´s liking, “w-we have to, Baekhyun. If they´re really down there.”

He hated to be the rational one. He didn´t want to crush Chanyeol´s hopes beneath his feet, if there was still a way they could be fulfilled. Which was, why Baekhyun nodded his agreement after a few breaths.

He kneeled in front of Anthony, fingers burying in the fluffy fur behind his ears and his heart hurt at the way it immediately calmed his friend down, “You need to stay here, big boy. Can´t have you lost somewhere down there, can we?”

The fear was eating at his heart, funny enough the fear of never seeing his dog again seemed a lot stronger, than the idea of dying down there. Those big, clear eyes were staring at him with so trust, Baekhyun didn´t know what to do with it anymore. He pressed the dog´s head close to his chest, Anthony still shuffling with his nerves on edge. The longer he held him, the calmer Anthony´s movements became, until he finally sat down on the ground and let Baekhyun card his fingers through his fur.

He stood, backing away towards the cellar door and just when Anthony was about to stand up and follow, he raised his palm; “Stay.” he shuffled again, “Stay!”

A small whimper sounded from Anthony and his ears deflated against his head but he didn´t move. He sat there, watching Baekhyun disappear down the steep stairs and followed his command, like he had done those past four years.

Chanyeol shuffled inside behind him and for once, that knowledge didn´t calm Baekhyun down at all. Perhaps, he should ask Chanyeol to wait outside as well… then again, what right did he have, to do so? Those were Chanyeol´s friends, not his.

When they reached the very bottom of the staircase, they were drenched in utter darkness and Baekhyun allowed his tears to cross the brim of his eyes. Then, in the next second, Chanyeol had inflamed the gas lamp and Baekhyun wiped them away with his sleeve. He could feel Chanyeol´s eyes on him, worried in his imagination, but he ignored it and moved forward.

They definitely were in a cellar, all there would have been to light the room was a lonely light bulb on the ceiling and every corner was filled to the brim with boxes and shelves, containing even more boxes. Baekhyun couldn´t stop himself from coughing in between the clouds of dust that wavered in the air.

As they moved further through the cellar, another door came into view. At first, Baekhyun thought it would be locked but as he pressed the handle down, the door easily gave way into a bigger room. Stepping out of the cellar, Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol to blow out the gas lamp again. Here, the sun easily filtered into the room through several high windows. It was a milky kind of light, thanks to the thick coat of dust on the panes and it made Baekhyun a bit drowsy, as he looked at his surroundings.

The inside of the storage buildings was built like a silo, with stairs climbing on the walls onto higher floors. Every corner was filled up with shelves and tanks, making it almost feel like a labyrinth as they carefully started to make their way through. When they got closer towards the middle, a suffocating stench started to sting in Baekhyun´s nose and he had to hold back from retching. He threw Chanyeol a questioning gaze and noticed that the giant, too, had covered his mouth and nose with the fabric of his shirt.

Following the source of the smell, Baekhyun soon rounded a corner, to discover an old water basin. Only, there wasn´t water inside anymore and instead-

“Holy-…“

Baekhyun could only agree. There, piled upon each other laid bodies; infected, all of them, but not moving a single muscle anymore. They weren´t just infected, they were dead for real. On top of that, Baekhyun counted around thirty bodies, plus minus, those hidden at the bottom.

“Do you…” he gulped, before his insides could escape through his mouth, “Do you recognize… anyone?”

At first, Chanyeol seemed to not even want to check, but then he shuffled closer towards the edge, slapping away the occasional fly that came from the pile of infected. His gaze was frightened and Baekhyun guessed he feared actually recognizing someone. But then, after a few seconds, his shoulders relaxed and the giant stepped back from the edge, to shake his head.

“No one.”

“Good”, was all that Baekhyun could respond with, “Let´s check out the floors above, then we can-“

He didn´t get to speak further, as suddenly a deafening bang sounded way too close to them. Within seconds, Baekhyun´s wild eyes discovered the small bullet hole in one of the food cans on the shelves and his hands started to tremble. He grabbed onto Chanyeol and pulled him behind another shelf. In the next second he had the firearm secured in his hands and was ready to shoot.

“Baekhyun, wait-“

“So they can kill us first?” Baekhyun spat, scrambling to loop the mouth of the REC7 between some of the boxes on their shelf, “No thanks.”

Chanyeol´s hand went up to pull him back and Baekhyun had half a mind to shake him off, “They´re human! What if they´re scared, if they think we´re infected? Hell, it might just be Kyungsoo and Minseok!”

“Sorry Chan, but if this is how your friends greet you, I´m not sure I want to be acquainted with them.” There he was, the shooter, wearing a thick, gas mask, on the staircase just around five metres higher than them. No defilade; it would be possible to hit him.

“Baekhyun, please, think! They´re human, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol pleaded, making Baekhyun´s hands unsteady on the trigger, “They´re human… Like I was.”

Bullseye. Chanyeol had aimed for his weak-point and struck the little dot in the middle like a champion; the unspoken truth that he had tried to ignore. There was a living, breathing creature up there and he was about to kill them. What if he had killed Chanyeol too? His heart cramped painfully at the idea. Since the answer was obvious: he would either be dead, infected or something even worse than that by now.

Just that knowledge alone sufficed for him to pull his finger off the trigger. He threw a desperate look at Chanyeol, met with a completely unreadable expression of his own. He looked so hopeful; Baekhyun liked it when he looked like that. Therefore, he sure as hell wasn´t going to be the one to take away the reason for that shine in Chanyeol´s eyes. He allowed his hand to momentarily graze the skin on Chanyeol´s cheek, grounding him, guiding him back to earth.

“Stop shooting!” he called, “We´re-“ another bullet bounced off the metal of the shelf they hid behind and Baekhyun´s breath hitched, “We´re human!”

“Shit, I think they can´t hear us.” Chanyeol said.

“Damnit, you try to be reasonable for once and they give you the finger”, Baekhyun mumbled hotly beneath his breath, “Cut it out!”

Still, no sign of stopping. More and more bullets came their way, one after another, too close to their heads for Baekhyun´s liking. The person was a good shot, no doubt, if they hadn´t had their cover, they might have been dead for a while now. Another bullet sparked little bolts next to Chanyeol´s head, making him flinch in fear and that was when Baekhyun knew he´d had enough.

Aiming at the shooter once more, Baekhyun concentrated on the person´s leg. Chanyeol tried to stop him again but Baekhyun only shushed his hand away, concentrating on the opponent’s thigh, through the sight pipe. When he was sure, the red cross in the middle was steady in its´ place, he pulled the trigger and a brutal jolt went through the firearm, ricocheting hard against his shoulder.

With a relieved sigh, he heard the attacker let out a loud shout of pain and watched how he clawed at his thigh in agony. There was only a short moment, where they would be too distracted to grab their weapon, so Baekhyun had to act quickly. Without much contemplation, he was on his feet, rushing around the shelf and up the staircase, until he was only a handful of steps away from the shooter, his firearm pointed right at the person´s head in a warning.

When the shooter was about to grab their own riffle, Baekhyun lifted the mouth of his firearm a little higher, to their head, “Don´t.”

Thankfully, instead of grabbing the weapon nonetheless, the person just raised their hands in defeat. Baekhyun gave the person a quick once-over; small in height but definitely not weak, wrapped in a pair of military pants and believe it or not – a bulletproof vest. When the attacker finally moved to pull down his gas mask, Baekhyun´s eyebrows shot up.

The guy couldn´t be much older than himself or Chanyeol…

“M-Minseok?” Baekhyun turned his head back to Chanyeol, who had climbed the stairs behind him.

“What in the-“ the shooter´s feline eyes widened in recognition, “Chanyeol?”

The next thing Baekhyun knew was Chanyeol kneeling down next to the man and pressing him close to his chest, getting the same treatment in return, even though it was interrupted by a small groan. Baekhyun flinched as he noticed the small pool of blood, near Minseok´s thigh.

“Your friend got decent aim.” Minseok huffed, Chanyeol helping him to get to his feet.

Baekhyun lowered his gaze in shame, “I´m s-“

“No, no!” Minseok hurried to speak, “Guess it´s my fault. I should be able to tell when my opponent is stronger than me.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, “I-I don´t think I understand…”

“You know, not all the people that come in here are infected”, Minseok explained, face scrunching up in pain, when he examined his leg, “but they´ve never been nice either. I had to be sure, otherwise we would have been the first to die.”

“We?” Chanyeol´s excitement almost excelled the one of a child on Christmas day, “Y-you mean-?”

“I bet Kyungsoo is so pleased to see you.” Minseok grinned.

It was a kind grin, loads of gums and warmth. Baekhyun understood why Chanyeol and him got along well. They seemed to be quite similar, in opposition to him. He was… the outsider.

“Upstairs” Minseok explained, brushing his black hair out of his eyes in excitement, “Let´s go.”

“Yeah su-“

“I´m going to get Anthony.” Baekhyun interrupted, already turning on his heel.

He could feel Chanyeol´s gaze on him; worried, confused, questioning. Baekhyun wished he would follow him, just to make him feel better, but he would have understood well, if Chanyeol couldn´t wait to meet his friend. His ex-boyfriend, actually. They probably had a lot to catch up to.

Surprisingly though, Chanyeol was by his side in an instant, “I´ll go with you, we´ll be right back Min.”

Giving them a soft nod, Minseok started to make his way up the stairs in a brave hobble. Baekhyun had to give him credit; the man was definitely not a cry baby. They walked back to Anthony in silence, the giddy dog dancing around their feet in excitement, as they arrived. Baekhyun praised him, running his hands through his fur and held onto his presence. He liked to imagine that his animal friend understood his misery.

They were about to cross the cellar, back into the silo, when Chanyeol stopped Baekhyun, by grabbing his arm gently, “Baek?” Baekhyun hummed, not raising his eyes from the ground, to look at Chanyeol, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” He didn´t want to sound like a jealous bellyacher, when all Chanyeol had done was to be happy about finding his friends.

“Don´t lie to my face, I can tell something´s up.” Why was Chanyeol able to look right through him? It wasn´t fair, “You can be honest with me.”

It could have been Baekhyun´s imagination but at that moment, Chanyeol´s voice sounded almost insecure. He pulled at Baekhyun´s arm and the smaller let himself be turned around on his heels, facing Chanyeol with a tortured gaze. Chanyeol´s palm touched his cheek and he withstood the urge to lean into the touch. This. He wanted this. He wanted it to himself. Even in the midst of an apocalypse, Baekhyun still had the nerve to be possessive about someone. No, not someone; Chanyeol.

“Please”, the giant mumbled, his thumb swiping at Baekhyun´s sharp cheekbones and his touch tickling the hair in his nape, “tell me, what´s going on.”

Taking a deep breath, to steady himself, Baekhyun finally spoke: “You´re… You´re going to leave me behind, aren´t you?” he cringed. Saying it out loud made it sound even more ridiculous.

Chanyeol eyed him with surprise for a moment, then his second hand joined in to cup Baekhyun´s face. He felt enveloped in safety and so much warmth; Baekhyun never wanted this to end. It should last, until the day he died and it should only be his. This affection, care and utter feeling of… home. This one feeling that felt just like Chanyeol. He didn´t want to loose it. He couldn´t afford to loose it. If he did, there might be a fate way worse than dying or turning. Because, Baekhyun might end up as a completely new kind of dead-man-walking. His soul, his heart and mind ripped from his very body, with nothing left to justify him as a human being. No better than the infected, roaming the lands outside of this house.

“Baekhyun… Baekhyun, look at me.” he did, meeting Chanyeol´s eyes with a childish plea and fear, so much stronger than he had ever felt it, when he had fought for his survival, “I´m not going anywhere.”

Then, before Baekhyun could register those words, his lips were covered with warmth, Chanyeol´s frame looming above him. He was floating in the air, the longing in his chest searing his every thought. There was half a mind left in him to kiss back, to actually understand what it meant and when he did, he couldn´t stop himself from reaching up, to pull Chanyeol further towards him. The room filled with the sound of their lips smacking and Chanyeol´s hands found their place on Baekhyun´s small waist, to steady him. He hadn´t even noticed how much he was trembling.

They kissed and kissed and kissed, until Baekhyun felt like his lungs were only filled with Chanyeol´s breath. This feeling; right between his ribs, so gentle, yet so urgent. He didn´t think, he could ever get bored of this, let alone have enough. Still, they had to part, when neither of them was able to catch their breath anymore. But even then, did they not part further than by a hairbreadth, noses and lips still brushing like ghosts.

“We´re a team, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol mumbled into their perfect silence, “We´ll always be a team.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good night/day/evening/morning dear traveller, I hope we´ll see each other around again soon <3<3


	5. Complement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear traveller, welcome back to our journey! 
> 
> I´m dearly sorry for the wait, I absolutely forgot to update the story :´D Funfact, i have the finished draft in my word and all I need to do is copy paste but apparently, I´m too dumb for that (ง ื▿ ื)ว
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you´re going to enjoy this new chapter!

“This game is dumb.” Taehyung pouted, dropping his body back against the couch.

“You just say that because you never win”, Baekhyun responded with a shit-eating grin, “and you´re a sore loser.”

With a laid-back movement of his hand, Taehyung waved him off, “Whatever, you nerd.”

They had spent the entire afternoon with the same video game and a very similar conversation, repeating every time the font ‘Player 2 wins!’ covered the TV. Baekhyun knew Taehyung had been fed up since round two, but knowing how much Baekhyun loved playing with him, he had endured it for another ten. The knowledge made the affection for his best friend bloom in the best way, which was the only reason, really, as to why he didn´t push Taehyung into another round.

Instead, he grabbed Taehyung´s controller and put it down onto the living room table, together with his own. Then, he plopped his body down lazily next to the other boy. When the silence became boring, Baekhyun shifted to lay his head in Taehyung´s lap and play with his fingers, the younger one flinching occasionally, when Baekhyun pulled a little too hard.

“Your hair is getting long again.” Taehyung stated, running a lazy hand through Baekhyun´s brown mob, “and the red is fading, lucky you.”

The red strands had been the consequence of a bet that had been pre-programmed on Taehyung´s victory, “I actually liked it, jokes on you.”

“Fine, next time we´ll use neon-yellow, let´s see how you pull that off.” They snorted and breathed through another few seconds of silence, “bet Heechul would like it, even if you wore a plastic bag over your head.”

“This again?” Baekhyun sighed and dropped Taehyung´s hand, in favour of covering his embarrassed face.

“He´s so into you, it´s almost painful”, skilfully dodging a slap from Baekhyun, Taehyung managed to calm the other´s movements down somewhat, “but then again, who isn´t?”

“Now, what´s that supposed to mean?”

Taehyung gave him a sceptical look, unrequired to point out that Baekhyun knew exactly what he was talking about, “You know exactly what I mean”, Baekhyun giggled into his hands, still trying his best to somewhat cover up the redness, spreading there.

With a weak attempt at a pout, he turned his face away from Taehyung, “You´re dramatizing.”

“Dramatizing?” Taehyung said in mock-offence, “I´m just saying that I didn´t get over ten love letters on Valentine´s day.”

“One wasn´t for me, just in the wrong locker, so it doesn´t count.”

“You can´t seriously think that makes a difference.” Taehyung huffed, as if Baekhyun had just confessed he believed the earth to be flat, “The whole school was crushing on you at some point.”

Sighing heavily, Baekhyun pushed at Taehyung´s chest in aversion, “The whole school, huh? That´s a bit much, don´t you think?”

“Okay, let´s count”, Taehyung proposed, holding his hand up to count the names on his fingers, “There was Yugyeom, who wanted you to sign his baseball cap in hopes to make money, when you become ‘famous’, then the one with the funny glasses that played in a band, my second best friend Jimin and let´s not forget to mention the prettiest girl in our school. You attract hearts like shit attracts flies, I´m telling you.”

“Very charming” Baekhyun shook his head, nose crunched up in disgust, then he added with a smug grin: “you think Taeyeon is the prettiest girl in school?”

“Don´t you?”

Shrugging his shoulders, non-committedly, Baekhyun gave the words a thought. Truth be told, he had been so caught up with telling Taeyeon that he wasn´t into girls in the least awkward way possible that he hadn´t really given much thought to her in general. Taehyung on the other hand… he might have taken her on a date right then and there. After all, he didn´t only share Baekhyun´s preferences.

“I don´t know.”

Covering his face with his hands dramatically, Taehyung let out a whine, “Your gay ass can´t even appreciate a goddess!”

“I know about beauty.”

When Taehyung´s eyes dropped to his face again, it revealed the smuggest expression Baekhyun had seen on him in a while, “But you could appreciate that Taemin-guy´s ass, couldn´t you?”

“Art needs to be appreciated.” Baekhyun responded and laughed like a dumb teenager.

Taehyung rolled his eyes with a playful grin and ran a thumb over Baekhyun´s nose, “Then I appreciate you.”

\--*--

He could still feel Taehyung´s skin graze the tip of his nose, when his eyes opened to a grey afternoon. The light that flooded in from outside was dimmed by clouds, and the air, despite the dust-filled room, tasted like fog. He almost jerked away in shock, when he realized that there was in fact skin pressing against his face – except it wasn´t Taehyung´s. With a blush, Baekhyun pulled his face beneath Chanyeol´s chin and felt how the giant subconsciously pulled him closer in his sleep. He was warm and soft, like a living teddy bear and his scent calmed Baekhyun down like a warm bath. When was the last time he had had one of those?

Sighing, Baekhyun stretched his legs, only to bump into another source of heat and in the next second, Anthony shuffled onto his legs, only to lay down right between the two boys, enjoying their caged warmth. Seeing this – it was so strange. Almost a bit domestic and Baekhyun had to remind himself where he was for a second.

Through the door of the room, faint voices bled into Baekhyun´s consciousness. He could easily identify Minseok´s softly pitched voice, sounding serious, as if absorbed into a serious conversation. Every now and then, he would be interrupted by a deeper voice. By now, Baekhyun knew that it belonged to Kyungsoo, even though he found there to be a great contrast between his voice and his face.

When Chanyeol and him had finally calmed down from their emotional make-out in the cellar, they had finally greeted the mysterious ex-boyfriend. Being honest, Baekhyun didn´t know what exactly he had expected but it hadn´t been what he had gotten. Kyungsoo was even shorter than him (making him question how kissing had even been manageable in their past relationship, even though he would prefer not to think about that too much) and his eyes were so big, he looked like a baby. Then he had started speaking and Baekhyun had decided to kick his expectations out the door.

To his great surprise though, there had been no awkwardness between neither Kyungsoo and Chanyeol nor Kyungsoo and Baekhyun himself. He was polite, offered them food and greeted Chanyeol like an old friend would do. Baekhyun hadn´t shared a lot of conversation with Kyungsoo but he had enjoyed listening to the three of them chat around the makeshift campfire inside an old metal-can and ate his food in blissful silence. For the first time, he hadn´t even felt left out at all and his strongest guess was that it had something to do with the promise Chanyeol had given him.

After they had finished catching up on at least a rough outline of the past weeks, Minseok had showed each of them a room, where they could sleep. What still surprised Baekhyun though, was how hurried Chanyeol was to mention that they only needed one. He hadn´t thought a lot about their status, much less Chanyeol´s intentions but he really wasn´t going to complain when a shared room and mattress meant what he was indulged in right now. Truth be told, Baekhyun felt pretty sure that he hadn´t slept this good in years.

Careful not to wake Chanyeol, he sat up on the dusty mattress with his hand on his chest in thought. Not only had he slept well, he had dreamt about Taehyung too; and not in the usual nightmare-kind-of-way, but something actually beautiful. If he concentrated hard enough, he could still hear Taehyung´s gentle voice and feel his hand in his hair.

Maybe he shouldn´t think about it – but before he could stop himself, a teardrop clashed against his thigh. Shaking his head softly, Baekhyun rubbed at his eyes, clearing them from the painful memories his subconscious had brought him and averted his eyes to something more colourful:

Chanyeol´s hair was absolutely dishevelled and Baekhyun knew very well that it was because of the many times he had rolled over and cuddled into his chest. His cheek was squished against the sleeping bag, which they had used as a pillow and it made his lips look even more plump than usual. It was a curse and a blessing – the way Baekhyun always remembered the feeling of them against his own. A blessing, because it was a nice memory. A curse… well, because he wanted to do it again. Over and over again, until someone would have to tear him away.

It took a great ounce of self-control for Baekhyun to resist the urge and instead, he untangled himself from Chanyeol´s long limbs, pressing Anthony tighter against his chest instead. The dog gave him a confused look, but as soon as Baekhyun got to his feet, he laid his head down again, nose brushing against Chanyeol´s chin. Had this been four years ago, Baekhyun would have run like a lightning bolt to get his phone and snatch a picture.

He sighed at the realization that he would just have to remember it and hope for many more moments like this one. Then, he finally went to leave the room.

As he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was that the voices had vanished. There was no more conversation filling the main room, where they all had shared their dinner just a few hours ago. He wandered around the big room, to find all the mismatching seats around the metal can to be empty – except one. There, illuminated only by the remaining blaze of a once warm fire sat Kyungsoo. His gaze was pinned to the moving, bright light, obviously in deep thought. Something about him almost looked anxious and Baekhyun didn´t know what to think about that. Even though he barely knew him, Kyungsoo didn´t strike him as a person to freak out easily.

When Baekhyun came into view, Kyungsoo´s gaze finally lifted from its´ empty space and went to fix him instead. He hesitated for a few breaths, before Kyungsoo gave him a small smile and he felt brave enough to sit down in the seat opposite to him.

“Slept well?” Kyungsoo mumbled, his voice sounding raspy, as if he had caught a cold.

“Very”, Baekhyun nodded, “Thank you for… everything, really.”

There was a slight tilt in Kyungsoo´s lips and Baekhyun would have killed to know what he found so amusing, “Don´t mention it. A friend of Chanyeol is a friend of mine.” and just when Baekhyun thought he was off the hook, Kyungsoo added: “Although I doubt, he sees you as just a friend.”

Seeing Kyungsoo´s cool exterior made Baekhyun subconsciously straighten his shoulders, even though his voice sounded way too defensive when he answered sheepishly: “I don´t know what you´re talking about.”

He didn´t know why he denied it. Maybe, because he wasn´t even sure what ‘it’ was yet and there fear of having ‘it’ slip through his fingers, in case he spoke about it was too great. On the other hand, it might just be because sitting in front of him was a person who had kissed Chanyeol as well… a lot more times than Baekhyun… and done other things too…

“Sounds Cliché, but I noticed the way he looks at you.” Kyungsoo admitted and something about his droopy shoulders almost looked regretful, “I know because he looked at me like that a long time ago.”

Baekhyun remained silent. He didn´t know what to say to this. Why was he even here? And what in the hell was Kyungsoo trying to get at? They hadn´t even spoken more than ten minutes and Baekhyun felt more confused than he had in his entire lifespan.

With a huff, Kyungsoo´s eyes averted to the side and the tension he had held in his hands started to waver off again, “Though I bet he mentioned that to you.”

“How´d you know?” Baekhyun asked, trying to at least contribute something to this weak excuse of a conversation.

“I know him like the back of my hand”, The response sparked a searing flame of jealousy in Baekhyun´s chest but he pushed it down with a subtle clench of his jaw, “He loves… talking. I´m sure you noticed.”

That, at least, managed to bring an honest smile to Baekhyun´s face, “How could I not…”

He noticed Kyungsoo staring at him through the silence, subtle and analysing. It almost felt like he was running through a test in Kyungsoo´s mind. If he was worthy to even be near Chanyeol at all. However, even though he might not have liked to admit it so much, Baekhyun understood why Kyungsoo acted the way he did. Because, even though they weren´t a thing anymore, Chanyeol obviously still meant a huge deal to Kyungsoo and the least thing he would probably want to do was make sure his friend didn´t get his heart broken.

“Listen”, Kyungsoo finally broke the silence and Baekhyun looked up at him, like an performer in front of the jury, “I don´t want you to feel awkward around me. Not, when the world is ending outside of our doorstep, so don´t worry about the whole ‘ex-boyfriend’-story.” Before Baekhyun could thank him, though, Kyungsoo leaned forward on his chair, elbows propped on his knees, “However, keep in mind: If you hurt him in any way, I have to see myself as forced to break every single one of your fingers.”

He could have felt frightened by the thread but Baekhyun´s heart was calm and his hands were steady, as he answered: “He won´t get hurt, as long as he got me.”

Silence settled between them for a moment, Kyungsoo´s eyes digging holes into the very depths of Baekhyun´s soul. No motion, no sound and then-

Kyungsoo´s lips spread into the first warm smile Baekhyun had seen on him thus far, “Chanyeol really has great taste in men, doesn´t he?”

Laughing softly, Baekhyun nodded his agreement, finally feeling the tension and uneasiness leave them. Kyungsoo leaned back in his chair comfortably and took a gulp from the water container. They started to chat about more mundane thing, almost as if they were used to doing exactly that. Kyungsoo turned out to be quite a gentle person actually and Baekhyun more and more understood that the toughened-up image that the other called his own, must have been a consequence of the wish to keep his friends safe. He wished he could become a little bit like this too; ‘don´t touch my friends or you´ll have to deal with me.’

It went on for two hours, time passing them by, like a waterfall flowing over the edge and they just talked, finding out things about each other that surprisingly came unexpected to both of them.

“I hadn´t expected you to be quite so tough.” Kyungsoo said at some point.

Smiling, Baekhyun took a gulp from the water container, “I´m not that tough.”

“Are you kidding?” One of Kyungsoo´s thick eyebrows lifted in disbelief, “You survived the apocalypse for four years with only your dog.”

“He´s a good dog.”

Kyungsoo snorted, “But I bet he wasn´t the one to find shelter, fight off infected and loot equipment necessary for survival.”

A few seconds of silence passed by, Baekhyun unable to come up with the right thing to say, “It must have been luck then.”

“No. Luck is that you´re here with us now.” Kyungsoo explained and Baekhyun wanted nothing more than to believe him, “But the four years before that – that is bravery.”

“He´s right, you know?”

They both turned their head towards the door, from where the raspy morning voice had sounded. Soon, Chanyeol stepped into the room with them, followed suit, by Anthony, who aimed straight for the spot at Baekhyun´s feet. The giant gave them both a gentle smile. Then, he pulled a chair close, next to Baekhyun´s and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Upon spotting Kyungsoo´s smug expression and his weak attempt at hiding a smirk, Baekhyun felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. Nonetheless, he turned his head to give Chanyeol a proper peck on the lips, trying not to let the billion birds that fluttered in his chest show on his face.

Soon, Minseok joined in, starting to ramble about some weird dream he had had and filling the room with easy chatter. Somewhere through the storyline, Chanyeol leaned over, grazing Baekhyun´s hand with his own and Baekhyun turned his face in surprise.

“Are you okay? You…” it seemed to take him a great ounce of bravery, to get the words out, “you kept crying in your sleep.”

“I-“ Baekhyun gulped in embarrassment; he should have expected this, after all, dreaming about Taehyung had always been the best and worst kind of dreams, “I´m fine it was… it was just a nightmare.”

Looking at it logically, the dream had been everything but a nightmare. But the pull in his heart, with which Baekhyun had woken up, had made it one – Had entitled it as such. Usually his dreams were filled with pain and death, memories of the worst times but this time it had been different. It had been a kind memory, a good one. So warm and beautiful that Baekhyun could still feel Taehyung´s hand on his cheek.

And that was what made it even worse.

Chanyeol seemed sceptical, but after a few seconds, he nodded his head, “Okay. Tell me, if something´s up, yeah?”

Nodding his head, Baekhyun attempted a thankful kind of smile. He hoped that Chanyeol knew how much this offered hand meant to him. To show it a bit clearer, he cradled Chanyeol´s round face in his palms and kissed him deeply. When they pulled away again, the worry in Chanyeol´s eyes had been replaced with affection and warmth and Baekhyun was thankful that the topic could be forgotten for the moment.

“You two are disgustingly cute.” Minseok threw at them from the other side of the fire.

Shyly tucking his head into Baekhyun´s chest, with a grin on his lips, Chanyeol answered with a weak: “Shut up.”

“I knew, we shouldn´t have given them a room together”, Minseok muttered dramatically, with a meaningful nod at an amused-looking Kyungsoo, “We´ll never get a good night´s sleep ever again.”

“We´re not going to-“

Before Baekhyun could finish his sentence, a loud crash sounded from the distance. They all tensed and Minseok was the first to gather his rifle. Kyungsoo got up and within seconds, he too, held a wicked looking baseball-bat in his hands. Even Anthony was on his feet, with his ears raised in attention, just a breath later. Trying to suppress the panic building in his stomach, Baekhyun raised from his seat, tucking Chanyeol behind him out of reflex, so that he was positioned between the giant and the only door that lead downstairs.

There was another crash and this time, Baekhyun could tell right away that it sounded from the huge hall downstairs. As if someone or something was bumping into all kinds of shelves and objects that blocked its way. Baekhyun held his breath, eyes pinned towards the doorway. There was a metallic groan echoing through the building, as whatever it was, entered the staircase in steps, so heavy they made the frame rattle. Next to him, Baekhyun could sense Minseok wide-awake and Kyungsoo had moved close towards the door, the knuckles around his bat turning white already. They had themselves under control, he understood, but that didn´t mean they weren´t scared as shitless as he was.

Chanyeol´s hand was on his shoulder and Baekhyun reached back, only to find the other´s slim waist beneath his palm. He tried to ground the taller, tell him that no matter what would happen, he would be protected but his own trembling didn´t make the task very easy to him.

The noise from outside was now so close, Baekhyun could almost imagine the monster behind it, panting and groaning. It sounded almost as if it was in great pain. Suffering. But he knew that was exactly how infected always sounded. He had faith though. For the first time in a long while, Baekhyun had faith. Because, he wasn´t on his own anymore. There was Minseok, with his rifle pointed steadily at the doorway, ready to send a bullet straight between a pair of eyes. There was Kyungsoo, with his arms bunching with enough strength, Baekhyun was sure he could knock whatever laid behind the door into another dimension. Even Anthony, with his wide eyes and twitching ears gave him a familiar kind of security. And then, there was Chanyeol. Who had his back, who wouldn´t ever let him be on his own anymore.

Silence.

Then, the door burst open with a loud bang, revealing indeed a human being. Anthony started to bark in fear, however, before an actual gunshot could sound, the person already fell to their knees with another groan of pain. Before Baekhyun could understand the situation, Kyungsoo had dropped his bat with wide eyes and crouched down next to the person. Even Minseok had lowered his weapon and moved towards the crouched silhouette.

It was then, that Baekhyun understood: The person was alive.

He stepped closer, holding onto Anthony´s fur, as to not let him snap at the stranger. As his gaze fell upon Kyungsoo´s expression though, Baekhyun understood another thing; namely that this person was anything but a stranger. As he looked at Chanyeol in question, however, he was met by the very same expression. So, Chanyeol didn´t know them.

Baekhyun looked back at the stranger´s scrunched up face. His black hair was tucked into a bunch of wild braids and laced with dirt. Just like his tanned skin, that barely even peaked out from beneath the thick sheen of what appeared to be dried mud. His thick lips were dry and split, already bleeding and his almond eyes were squeezed shut, as another groan of pain left his body. When Baekhyun´s eyes went on, he found the source of the stranger´s pain very quick; there was a big, bloody gash, all across his abdomen, almost reaching up to his chest and another, nasty looking wound in his side.

“Shit Jongin.” Minseok cursed, trying to support his friend with a shoulder, “What the hell happened?!”

All he got was another groan in response and with united forces Kyungsoo and Minseok carried the man, presumably named Jongin, over towards one of the chairs, to sit him down. Kyungsoo ripped Jongin´s shirt open, to reveal the damaged skin and Baekhyun watched in surprise, how a pained flinch passed over his face at the sight. Almost, as if the wounds hurt him just as much as Jongin.

“Get the bandages and the germicide.” he breathed and when Minseok didn´t react fast enough, he yelled: “Go!”

And Minseok was on his feet, bolting for another door and disappearing. Baekhyun watched with horrified eyes, the agonized screams that left Jongin´s lips predominating even the shrill barks of Anthony. When Minseok came back with the necessary items and a wet cloth, Kyungsoo made quick work of attempting to clean away the dried mud and blood from Jongin´s torso. Jongin thrashed, his body spasming with the unbearable amount of pain and in his unpredictable motions, he hit Kyungsoo in the face. The man lost his balance and fell back with a groan and a silent curse, before he got up again, to continue with his task.

Jongin was still thrashing like a mad-man and Baekhyun quickly understood that there was no way to calm him down. He… he wouldn´t be bitten, would he? Stepping closer with the panic overwhelming his fear, Baekhyun leaned down to check Jongin´s eyes. He was met with a blank kind of expression but not one Baekhyun had to fear. Jongin´s eyeballs were still a clear white, his brown iris shining with a thick sheen of tears.

“He´s not infected.” Baekhyun breathed and then grabbed a tight hold of Jongin´s shoulders, to pin him into the chair, “I´ll hold him.”

“He´s strong.” Minseok gave him a sceptical look, struggling to hold Jongin´s legs down just as well, “Might break your nose.”

“Then so be it”, Baekhyun ground between clenched teeth, then he gave Kyungsoo a tight nod, “Go on.”

Kyungsoo didn´t even hesitate for another second, his movements sloppy but following a distinct plan. Minseok hadn´t been kidding, Jongin was made of more muscle than anything else and holding him down felt like fighting a tornado. Still, he managed, biting his tongue, until he could taste blood. Somewhere along the procedure, Jongin finally lost consciousness, the adrenaline that had kept his body together, finally seeping out into the floor. When Kyungsoo fastened the last bandage around Jongin´s torso, a collective sigh of relief went through the boys.

For a long while, no one said anything. Jongin was lying in the chair, limp but with a steady breath. Baekhyun noticed Kyungsoo sneaking a hand in the sleeping boy´s but he didn´t mention it. Instead, he looked up, to find Chanyeol´s big eyes on him. He had a good grip on Anthony and Baekhyun was thankful, since the dog could have made the whole situation a little complicated, if he thought Baekhyun was in danger. Trying a soft smile that sadly ended in a strange grimace, Baekhyun let the grip, he still had around Jongin´s unmoving shoulders, soften.

Finally, Minseok was the one to break the silence, “Come on Soo, we´ll carry him to your room.”

Kyungsoo didn´t react. He seemed to be in some kind of shock state and Baekhyun could only imagine how worried the man had to be right now. It was obvious that Jongin meant a great deal to him, Baekhyun just wasn´t sure in what way. However, it didn´t really matter, when seeing Kyungsoo like this was so odd. His new found friend had come across as tough, unbothered and invincible and suddenly, he seemed like a lost kid. The fear and sorrow in his eyes looked so raw and involuntary, Baekhyun wanted to set the world on fire just to make him turn back into the Kyungsoo he had gotten to know at first.

“Kyungsoo, let´s go.” Minseok tried again and Baekhyun noticed how Chanyeol flinched, when the smaller still didn´t react and Minseok´s jaw clenched in a mixture of anger and fear, “Get up!”

They all startled, even Kyungsoo, who lifted his face to look at Minseok´s distressed figure. Even Minseok seemed surprised by his own outburst, but he shook his head to get rid of the feeling and pulled Kyungsoo to his feet. Carrying the silence of a thousand worlds, Minseok and Kyungsoo hoisted Jongin up and hauled him into what Baekhyun assumed to be Kyungsoo´s room.

They closed the door behind them and Baekhyun let his tense shoulders drop. He startled, when he felt a wet tongue on his hands and looked down with a soft smile, to greet Anthony with a few strokes. Chanyeol was by his side almost as fast and he kneeled next to where Baekhyun sat, next to the now empty chair. Just like he had done with Anthony, Baekhyun lifted his hand to ruffle through Chanyeol´s dirty hair. His fingers caught in the knots but Chanyeol didn´t seem to mind and only leaned into the touch further. In exchange, he moved to stroke Baekhyun´s hair as well. It was a lot longer than Chanyeol´s but even when he felt the stings of Chanyeol´s long fingers getting caught, he still revelled in the warmth with closed lids.

“I´m sorry.” Chanyeol whispered and Baekhyun opened his eyes again, to be met with sincere remorse.

He didn´t like the expression on Chanyeol´s face, it shouldn´t be there, “What are you sorry for?”

“I didn´t…” he stopped and sniffed pitifully, “I should´ve done something. I should´ve-“

“Hey, hey!” Baekhyun immediately shuffled over, to cup Chanyeol´s face in his hands, only now noticing the dried blood on his skin that could only come from Jongin, “Don´t even go there, okay? You were scared, it´s natural to freeze when you´re scared.”

Obviously still not buying into Baekhyun´s words, Chanyeol tried to avert his eyes but Baekhyun´s tight hold wouldn´t let him, “You didn´t freeze… You helped.”

Shrugging his shoulders, now Baekhyun was the one to avert his eyes, “I wasn´t scared.“ then, after a little bit of silence, he added: “At least, when I knew he wasn´t infected.”

“That´s the only thing, you´re scared of, isn´t it?” Chanyeol mumbled and Baekhyun´s heart swelled at the admiration in his giant´s voice.

No, I´m scared to lose you even more… “Yes.”

They were so close, it would be more than easy to kiss Chanyeol until he lost his breath and he could tell that Chanyeol thought the same, with the hushed glances he threw at his lips. However, Baekhyun decided to just tug Chanyeol into his arms, patting his lap as a sign for Anthony to join their little cuddle club. They remained intertwined at the foot of the chair, not bothered enough to move until the door to Kyungsoo´s room opened again and Minseok stepped out with a tired expression and his head hung low.

When he noticed them, he lifted a brow, but when Baekhyun gave him a careful smile, he joined them and sat down on the floor, in front of them, “He´s okay for the night. We´re going to switch and watch over him through the night.”

“We can help.” Chanyeol insisted and Baekhyun knew that he still felt guilty for not doing anything earlier.

But Minseok only shook his head with a tight smile, “No, you two should rest, I bet you have some awful days behind you. I know how tired you are Chan, don´t try to fool me with eye-bags like those and Baekhyun, you should eat a lot, I can see your ribs through your shirt.”

Baekhyun thought about mentioning Minseok´s own obvious lack of body fat and sunken features but he remained silent. There was no need to make this even more difficult for the man. Thankfully, Chanyeol seemed to have the same thought and nodded in defeat. Minseok seemed grateful, his smile tired but still warm and he got up with a tight sigh.

“I´ll see you in the morning.” He waved at them and made his way towards Kyungsoo´s room, leaving the two boys and Anthony on their own.

As the door closed behind Minseok´s disappearing frame, both of them fell into each other, holding the other tighter against their chests. Baekhyun breathed in Chanyeol´s scent and let the contentment wash over him, instead of letting the worry eat at his mind. Soon, Chanyeol pushed him up to his feet, so they could retreat to their room together, Anthony brushing past their legs and onto the mattress.

Together, they settled down, legs intertwined and their noses touching. It felt right like this, Baekhyun thought, almost natural… Almost like home.

Baekhyun was about to close his eyes in contentment, when he felt a hand pull at his waist, insistent, helpless, “Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol´s voice wasn´t far above a whisper and his eyes reflected the light of the moon unnaturally bright, “Chan are you crying…?”

“N-no…” Chanyeol stuttered, even as Baekhyun´s thumb swiped through the wet mess in the corner of his eyes, “I´m-… I´m scared Baekhyun.”

His eyes were so desperate and Baekhyun felt his big fists tighten around the fabric of his shirt. Anthony was fidgety between them, obviously sensing that something was up but Baekhyun was too distracted to silence the soft whimpers that the dog made. He was too consumed by tugging Chanyeol impossibly closer, trying to numb his own despair that came with the flow of Chanyeol´s tears. Right now, Baekhyun had to be strong, just for Chanyeol.

“I know, I know.” Baekhyun whispered, hands softly circling the curly hair on top of Chanyeol´s head, “Don´t be scared Chanyeol, nothing will happen to you. I-…” he stopped, gulping down the dryness in his throat, “I won´t let anything happen to you, even if it means-“

“Don´t.” Chanyeol interrupted, his eyes fixing Baekhyun with hurt written deeply into his gaze, “Don´t you dare.”

Baekhyun´s eyes widened at the intense reaction, his heart beating loud in shock, as much as in a tight pull towards the other man; the one man that had saved more than just his life, more than just his body, “W-what?”

“Don´t you dare think sacrificing your life would save me.” He was looming over Baekhyun´s frame now, his emotions crushing him but Baekhyun didn´t stop him, “It´s not an option, okay?”

He was rendered speechless, every part of his body was shaking and filled with so many things at once. Fear. So much fear of the outside world, the danger beyond their wooden doors, for Chanyeol, for his own life, the morning of tomorrow. He wanted nothing more but to hold onto this moment and never return to their cruel reality. But if Chanyeol´s life was at risk, could he be selfish enough to stay? On the other hand: wasn´t selfishness the only thing that could save them now? Wasn´t the only thing that could get them through this seemingly endless nightmare, this – What they had? If he was gone, who would be left to protect Chanyeol? No, he understood that leaving wasn´t as much of an option as he had thought.

His hands lifted to cup Chanyeol´s face and frame his features like a painting beyond price. He hadn´t noticed his own eyes leaking, but there he laid, beneath Chanyeol, reflecting the same despair and trust that the giant sent his way. Chanyeol whimpered and the sound shook Baekhyun awake, enough to pull him in.

It felt like the time in the old barn, when they had escaped the infected, adrenaline pushing their paths to cross. However, this time it was beyond simple relief. Their tongues tangled in a language of need and greed and their bodies fit together perfectly, as Chanyeol´s frame shifted to lay on top of Baekhyun. He was heavy but not crushing him, just grounding him back into a mind-set, he needed the most. Chanyeol was a bold kisser, not separating his emotions from his actions and Baekhyun was thankful for it. All that he felt ordered his own thoughts – his own emotions and it felt too addicting to ever tell Chanyeol to stop.

Stopping didn´t seem to be part of Chanyeol´s plan either. Instead, his hands became more curious, bolder, like his lips. They travelled the opened paths underneath Baekhyun´s shirt, grazing muscle and scarred skin that he never thought someone else would find. He sighed in content, even as Chanyeol´s mouth finally left his, to move down beneath his jaw. His mind was shut down, his body drowning in every single sting and every single spread of heat that Chanyeol gave him.

He could tell the other was desperate, urgent to find closeness and Baekhyun understood why. It crept into his limbs, his heart; the feeling of company and it was even more comforting than simply knowing Chanyeol was there. Now, there were sweet love bites on his neck, to remind him. Now, he knew how the cold tips of Chanyeol´s fingers felt against his chest, to recall later. When he needed a reminder that there was still something – someone, to fight for… to survive for.

When his body twitched with the intensity of Chanyeol´s teeth against his collarbone, Baekhyun´s lips opened to release a sweet moan. Silent enough, to be considered a secret and he could feel Chanyeol jolt awake. He stopped in his motions and wrapped his arms tightly around Baekhyun´s waist, to pull him up, until they were in a sitting position; Baekhyun´s thighs on either side of Chanyeol´s hips. They entangled, keeping the warmth in between their bodies and burying their faces in each other´s neck, to hide from the world.

After a while, a soft kiss tickled Baekhyun´s neck and he dared to come out of his hiding spot, leaning back to look at Chanyeol through the darkness. There was a strange feeling – like familiarity – as if Baekhyun had known Chanyeol for ages and they were in a completely different universe. Maybe that was what caused him to open his mouth and drop his soul into the world for the first time in years.

“You´re my miracle Chanyeol”, He whispered and watched as Chanyeol´s eyes widened in gentle surprise, “You saved me.”

He felt frightened to speak. After all, if you spill your guts you can´t get them back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That´s it for today, my dear traveller! Do not fright though, the journey will continue soon! With all the love, I hope to see you again soon! <3<3 (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡


	6. Antivirus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back my dear traveller! I hope you have been well, I´ve been on a vacation in Lisbon! Now though, I´m ready and happy to continue our journey. I hope so are you! 
> 
> What better vacation is there, than a zombie apocalypse after all? 
> 
> Enjoy the ride <3

"Hurry!" Taehyung's deep voice had raised a few octaves and the panic was like a sting to Baekhyun's own heart.

His legs hurt worse than they ever had during exercise or soccer training, his vision was blurry with the tears that the fear squeezed out of his system, he felt dizzy enough to faint at any given second and there was a sour taste on his tongue. Still, he pushed on, watching his best friend's back lead the way across the deserted highway. Broken down cars stood in their way, an occasional dead body causing them to stumble. However, Baekhyun had long stopped looking at them for longer than necessary, recalling Taehyung's voice when he had pulled him into his chest for the first time and whispered 'don't do this to yourself'.

Anthony's frame rushed ahead of them, directing their path. Behind them, a whole swarm of infected was stumbling after them, not any of them slowing down even in the slightest. Their eyes were ripped open and their mouths dutiful paths for screams that made Baekhyun's core rattle. Taehyung's own head turned every now and then, to look at them, his face painted with fear, just like Baekhyun's own. Usually, the younger was the one to keep his expression neutral, even if they had a herd of dead bodies laying at their feet, he wouldn't let his feelings show on his face. However, now, as they ran across the asphalt and had death knocking against their door, Taehyung's eyes were filled with the fear that Baekhyun had encountered in the mirror so many times already. He had never understood how hard it must have been for Taehyung to keep himself together, in favour of Baekhyun but looking at him now and seeing this unfitting expression spread so naturally over his features made Baekhyun wish he had looked through the façade sooner.

Further along the highway they ran, until there was a slightly greater distance between them and the infected and Taehyung slowed in his steps. Baekhyun was about to question, whether he had lost his mind, when Taehyung ran towards one of the broken down cars.

"Get in!" He shouted and Baekhyun gave him an incredulous look.

"Are you serious? It's never gonna start!"

Taehyung huffed and pulled at Baekhyun's sleeve, "It will, trust me."

Good for Taehyung, Baekhyun trusted the boy with his life and he got into the vehicle at the second. Anthony jumped into his lap with ease. He slammed the door shut, immediately turning to look back at the infected, still chasing after them. They were close, too close for Baekhyun's comfort and thanks to them not running anymore, they were just drawing nearer with every step. Taehyung was hunched over, fidgeting with a bunch of cables and cursing every now and then, when a small lightning went through the cables. He was about to curse Taehyung, when the impact of something heavy slammed against his side of the car.

He screamed and turned to stare right into the rotten face of a dead man, his face pressed against the door and his hands slamming against the glass over and over again. Anthony's panicked barking did nothing to calm his pulse down. Baekhyun held onto the door handle, pulling, pleading to every god that hadn't left this planet yet, for the glass to withstand. His chances became slimmer, when a particularly hard hit sent a spider web of cracks through the surface.

"Taehyung, any day now." he shouted, anger and fear making his voice crack.

Had Taehyung sent them right into their grave? One look at the young man seemed to very much confirm that assumption. He was still struggling and at the same time, pressing his shoulder against his own car door, to keep another infected out who was frantically banging her head against the glass, until it bore stains of blood.

"Taehyung-!"

The car roared to life and at the speed of light, Taehyung had his foot on the gas pedal, sending them through the destruction of the highway. Baekhyun's eyes widened and he held on tight to the dashboard. They jolted over objects and bodies and Baekhyun felt the nausea immediately kick in, when he saw an infected disappear beneath their car and heard bones crush obnoxiously. He had a palm on his mouth, tasting vomit but he managed to hold himself together.

Taehyung's face was scrunched up in disgust and the knuckles on his hands were white, where they gripped onto the steering wheel. Behind them, Baekhyun could see the group of infected slowly become smaller in the rear-view mirror and when they finally moved out of sight, his whole body slumped back into the seat. His breath was still frantic and every fibre of his being was shaking but at least his muscles had stopped tensing beyond their capability.

"H-how?" Baekhyun asked, as soon as his lungs obeyed him again, "How did you know it would start?"

A few seconds passed, before Taehyung sighed heavily and dropped his head back, "I didn't."

It took a bit for Baekhyun to progress the information, but when he did, he couldn't help himself but to angrily pounce on Taehyung and hit his arm until he knew it would turn blue, "You asshole!"

Taehyung, the idiot was laughing in disbelief and the same adrenaline Baekhyun felt flow through his system. He couldn't help himself, the relief and the happiness of having survived too great and he started to laugh along. His face buried into Anthony's fur with relief washing over him. Throwing a fond look at Taehyung, Baekhyun let his laughter die down and mustered the still smiling boy. He was dirty and his face wore a couple of blood splutters but Baekhyun still would have kissed him all over his face in gratitude, if he didn't have the steering wheel in his hand.

"The model was known for having a sustainable interior. I figured if any car would still start and not have rotten to nothing, it would be one of this kind." Taehyung explained and Baekhyun eyed him with surprise.

"Didn't know you were a car-expert." He said.

"I'm really not", Taehyung grinned and Baekhyun felt the younger's eyes on him for a moment, "But I remember I've seen it on TV. There was an ad."

Baekhyun chuckled softly, "So to cut it short: Our lives laid in the hands of the advertisement industry's honesty and your advert-marred brain."

"You could say that."

"For god's sake." Baekhyun laughed and shuffled to get into a more comfortable position, "Where are we going anyways? Now that we have this gem?"

"For a start, as far away from the city, as this thing will carry us." Taehyung declared and Baekhyun nodded in agreement, "Then... I don't know, maybe we can go north."

"What would we do there?" Baekhyun asked sceptically, there was practically nothing in the area, besides a few small villages.

"Remember: the last news reports mentioned a safety facility in that area."

Baekhyun frowned, picking at a lonely thread on his ripped jeans, "You think there's actually something to it?"

"I think that it's the only option we have right now", Taehyung mumbled and Baekhyun felt the beaten tiredness in his voice, "Regardless of how much there is to it."

He was right. They had no other leads to follow. All of their goals up until now were escaping infected and not starving. Maybe, if they followed this particular clue, they'd finally escape the struggle of survival in the long term. He cast a short look at Taehyung, who was still concentrated on the road ahead. The man seemed tired but there was some hope to his gaze. Baekhyun realized that, it didn't matter where they went, as long as Taehyung was with him, he wouldn't be scared.

"Okay. North it is, then."

\--*--

"Baekhyun?" Baekhyun's eyes struggled to open, as a deep whisper jolted him back into reality, "Baekhyun?"

His lashes stuck together with dried tears and he raised his arm to wipe them away, only to find an arm around him preventing him from doing so. He gently entangled himself from Chanyeol's grip and rubbed at his eyes, to find a blurry version of Kyungsoo kneeling next to his bedside. The man was looking at him with patience, obviously the one who had called his name. Baekhyun's brows furrowed as Kyungsoo's presence dawned upon him.

"Kyungsoo?" he mumbled, his voice raspy and silent from sleep.

"I need your help. Can you meet me outside?", Kyungsoo mumbled, throwing a quick look at what Baekhyun guessed to be Chanyeol's sleeping figure and then added: "Alone?"

Baekhyun's eyebrows furrowed even more at Kyungsoo's cryptic words but he confirmed with a slight nod nonetheless. Kyungsoo then rose from where he was squatting and made his way out the room again, gently closing the door, as he left.

Left in silence, Baekhyun dropped his head back onto his pillow to come back to full consciousness again. Chanyeol was breathing next to him, following the slow rhythm of sleep and Baekhyun couldn't stop himself from mustering the man with loving eyes. He liked Chanyeol best like this, so at peace and unbothered. It made him seem even younger than usually and most importantly; it made Baekhyun forget for even a slightest moment. Forget the doom that cowered at their doorway.

However, he wasn't going to make Kyungsoo wait too much and managed to untangle himself from Chanyeol's long arms with reluctance. He missed it immediately – the warmth, the safety. Anthony was fast asleep at his feet and Baekhyun nudged the dog gently. His eyes blinked open and he huffed but didn't wait to get up and cuddle into Baekhyun's welcoming hands.

"You take good care of Chanyeol, you hear me?" he mumbled, casting a meaningful look at Anthony's wide eyes, "Take care of him."

Then he patted the space next to Chanyeol's chest and watched as Anthony settled back down, to bury his nose beneath Chanyeol's chin. Baekhyun smiled fondly, his heart hurting thanks to the image, before his eyes. He ripped his gaze away and moved to stand up with a silent groan. Pulling on his jacket, he finally left the room.

Outside, Kyungsoo waited, studying a huge piece of paper and as he drew closer, Baekhyun identified it to be a map of the city. He frowned, when he noticed the heavy gear on Kyungsoo's body. A thick pair of boots, knives at his sides, a riffle on his back and a metallic baseball bat leaning against his chair. This seemed unusual, Kyungsoo looked like he was going to war.

When he approached the fireplace, Kyungsoo looked up, a blank expression on his face, as he motioned Baekhyun to sit down, "Sorry to wake you so early."

"It's fine." Baekhyun said, "What's up?"

Kyungsoo shuffled to get his chair closer to Baekhyun and spread the map across both of their laps, "I told you I needed help right? Well, to be exact, I need to get here."

His index pointed at a marked spot on the map. Baekhyun didn't know the place well but it wasn't difficult to figure out what Kyungsoo was pointing at: the local hospital. He frowned, looking up at Kyungsoo with a question in his eyes. After all, this place was one of the most crowded places in every city. Naturally, as soon as the virus had broken out, people had stormed the hospitals like ants and one single infected was enough to send the whole place to hell. As far as Baekhyun's experience went, those who had hid there, never really left.

"Why would you want to go to a place that hoards infected like a goddamn hen-coop?" he asked.

Kyungsoo seemed reluctant but there was something else to his gaze too, remorse perhaps, "Jongin is getting worse." Baekhyun breathed in deeply, with the weight that those words carried, "We had expected it to happen but the wounds got infected. If we don't hurry, he might die by the end of the week."

Baekhyun didn't miss the crack in Kyungsoo's voice and he didn't even want to imagine the immense panic the man carried in his heart at that moment. He didn't know how to respond. He thought about trying comforting words but looking at Kyungsoo told him that this was anything but what the man needed right now. So, he just decided to hear him out.

"We do have some medications to postpone possible Sepsis but after a while, they'll eventually loose their effectiveness or run out." he sighed, as if he knew what he was about to say would carry a lot of weight, "I need to get to the hospital and collect the necessary antibiotics and Intravenous fluids. It's not an ICU but we'll be able to craft something together and help him. But, without the necessary stuff, I don't see any possibility how Jongin could survive the next days."

Baekhyun nodded his head, slowly processing the information, "So you need to get to the hospital. What role do I play in this?"

"As you've already mentioned, this place is crowded more than any other", Kyungsoo explained, "so, I can't go alone."

"Y-you want me to come with you?"

To say, he was surprised, would have been an understatement. They had known each other for a total of two days now, so Baekhyun didn't see how Kyungsoo could trust him enough to actually go out there into the wild with him. Then again, he hadn't known Chanyeol either and now, look where they had landed.

"If you're willing." Kyungsoo confirmed, "I know it's a lot to ask for and I'd understand if you don't want to, but-"

"No, don't worry." Baekhyun hurried and he wasn't quite sure why the relief in Kyungsoo's eyes made him feel so glad, "I'll come with you... I'm just wondering: why me? Wouldn't you prefer Minseok to tag along? Or Chanyeol?"

A sad smile grazed Kyungsoo's lips and Baekhyun questioned whether he should have stayed silent, "Minseok is a tough cookie but I can tell that he's not capable of going out there, even though I know he'd insist. His leg isn't fully healed yet", Baekhyun winced as remorse reminded him of his own actions, "and I'm pretty sure that he's got some kind of cold going on. He woke up with a fever today." Then he sighed, as if the weight of the situation was pressing the air out of his body, "And Chanyeol... It might be unfair but I just can't let him go there. Don't take it personal, when I say I'd rather have you go out there than him."

Reality stung, but Baekhyun didn't have the heart to be angry about Kyungsoo's words, "Don't worry. I feel the same."

Kyungsoo gave him another apologetic smile, "I thought so." Then, he stood up to leave into a different room. When he came back, his hands were filled with the same kind of gear he wore himself, "You'll need this. Nothing too heavy but able to make a lot of damage, if necessary."

Baekhyun mustered the pile of weapons and immediately reached for a nasty looking machete, with a small shiver "Thank you."

They packed their things and soon, the both of them stood at the door that would lead them down into the entrance hall. Kyungsoo had said his goodbye to Minseok and checked on Jongin a last time, before he had joined Baekhyun at the door. Baekhyun on the other hand... he had been staring at the door to their room for the last ten minutes, battling his heart with his mind. Should he go and wake up Chanyeol to say goodbye? Should he take Anthony along? He didn't know but somehow he thought it to be selfish to do either of those. Because, there was no doubt Chanyeol would insist on going with them, if he woke him up now. Therefore, as much of a betrayal as it would be to just leave without saying anything, Baekhyun couldn't bear the possibility of Chanyeol going after them and getting into danger as well. And Anthony... Anthony was the same. Baekhyun never wanted to have his best friend cross danger's eye but thanks to being alone that had never been avoidable. Now though, that he had someone who could take care of Anthony, the situation had turned around on him.

There was no painless option left for him but he figured, the less complication he caused the better. Even if disappearing without a word was a mean move, he hoped Chanyeol would understand that Baekhyun had acted in the taller's very own interest. Maybe, though he just didn't have the guts to face Chanyeol's worried expression.

"Not saying good-bye?" There was no judgement in Kyungsoo's voice, only worry.

"It will be easier for him like this. He won't feel guilty of leaving me on my own, if he didn't have a choice, just in case..." he gulped, unable to finish the sentence... in case I don't come back at all.

Thankfully, Kyungsoo seemed to understand anyways, because he merely nodded his head and began the journey out of the silo's facility. They were silent, even as they had left their hiding spot far behind and the sun was starting to burn on Baekhyun's face. They had to walk quite a while to reach the next town but Baekhyun didn't mind getting a bit of blood back into his legs. Being used to sprinting and walking on a daily basis, the calmness of the past days had made him anxious and fidgety. Kyungsoo didn't seem to share his opinion, since his face not once lifted from the ground in front of them to look around. He seemed to be in deep thought and after a bit of contemplation, Baekhyun understood why.

"You have to stop worrying." he finally spoke and his voice sounded deafening, compared to the silent rhythm of their steps.

"That's easier said than done." Kyungsoo responded but there was no offense in his tone, "Imagine Chanyeol's life was at stake instead."

Baekhyun cast him a worried side-glance but Kyungsoo still had his gaze pinned to the asphalt, "...You like him."

For a while, Kyungsoo didn't respond and Baekhyun started to feel like he had interpreted the whole thing wrong, but then Kyungsoo's head lifted to finally look at him, "Could be." Then, after a while of eyeing Baekhyun, he added: "Something wrong with that?"

"Not at all." Baekhyun answered with all honesty, "I think it can do you good as much as it can do you bad. Might sound too optimistic but I think that something... something like this, can actually save your life, when it comes down to it."

There was a gentle smile on Kyungsoo's lips, when he turned his gaze back on the road ahead, "It gives you hope."

"It gives you hope." Baekhyun agreed.

They went back to their familiar silence and Baekhyun felt his gaze drift off to their surroundings. Right now, as the outer skirts of the small town were passing them, he knew he had to start paying more attention. It was more likely to be attacked in a place like this, than between the cities. Surprisingly though, the place was a lot more deserted than Baekhyun would have thought. The buildings were still very much intact, only a few wrecks here and there and the streets weren't as stuffed with destruction as the last one he had travelled through with Chanyeol. Even the number of bodies that they encountered remained beneath a two-digit number.

"We found him in this town." Baekhyun almost startled when Kyungsoo started to speak and when he turned to look at the other, he discovered him staring at their surroundings in a distant haze, "Minseok and I... we were hungry as hell and the plan was to find a supermarket in one of the less crowded districts. When we were about half-way there, we encountered a group of wild stray dogs. They were definitely looking for a fight, so we ran away as fast as we could and hid in that arcade." he nodded at a side street, in which Baekhyun could definitely see a neon-tube sign reading 'Fun-Tasia', "Almost died of a heart attack when he just emerged from one of the corners and pointed a gun at us."

Baekhyun couldn't supress the soft smile, that overcame him, as he remembered his very similar first meeting with Chanyeol.

"Later on, he told us that he'd been hiding there for almost two weeks. The kid was thin like a stick, I was surprised he could still stand." Kyungsoo continued, as they climbed over a barricade of cars, "You remind me of him in that way." Baekhyun gave him a curious look, "You know... the survival spirit."

"Survival-spirit..." Baekhyun tasted the word on his tongue and strangely enough, it felt more encouraging than anything else.

"Yeah, you know... the odds of the world are against you but you still fight your way out." Kyungsoo explained, shrugging, "It's one of the most impressive traits in my opinion, considering the amount of people that killed themselves when the virus broke out."

Baekhyun stood silent for a while, something about the statement seemed a bit sensitive, but he decided Kyungsoo would be able to endure the question that burned on his tongue: "Did you know someone?"

"Not personally." Kyungsoo said, "But Minseok did... and you'd be surprised what we stumble upon, when we search through apartments."

The words made Baekhyun feel a bit ill. He didn't want to imagine what Kyungsoo had seen in the time, since the apocalypse but thanks to his own experiences, he had a pretty good idea.

"There." Kyungsoo said, jerking his head in the direction of another broad street.

Baekhyun followed the motion, to find a tall and familiar building. In the front, some of the poles that hadn't fallen, still wore the country's flags but they gone limp. No wind whatsoever and no sound to come with it. The silence was unsettling and didn't necessary contribute to making the broken-down hospital seem any more welcoming. Most of the window-frames were empty, like eyes, watching them from afar. The façade had lost any of its initial white colour and laid stained with dirt. As they walked closer, Baekhyun didn't miss the several wild mammals that hushed out of sight. Everything seemed way too silent. There should be one hell of a chaos here.

"Where are they?" Kyungsoo whispered and even the small tone against the dead silence made Baekhyun flinch.

"I'm not sure", slowly, he stepped closer, "But I don't think I want to find out anyways."

They crept towards the main entrance, stepping past broken glass and keeping a tight grip around their weapons. Baekhyun swore that he never would have thought a machete would feel this good in his hand. Kyungsoo seemed composed but with the way his eyes darted around, at the speed of light, Baekhyun felt the cold creep up his neck. They were walking right into a lion's den. And they had no idea where the lion was.

"The Supply-station is right past the Surgery." Kyungsoo said, eyeing the remains of what Baekhyun assumed to be a map of the hospital building.

He nodded and started to follow the signs that would lead them to their destination. Kyungsoo's presence was comforting at least and Baekhyun felt more confident with every infected-empty square metre they covered. Despite the queasy feeling that the emptiness still caused in his guts, Baekhyun knew when to appreciate silence. Even if he had a hard time trusting said silence.

Luckily the hospital wasn't huge. They had covered the Cafeteria, Rehab Services and X-Ray in less than ten minutes and their pace remained steady. Baekhyun shifted around the corner to find another empty hallway. He moved swiftly, following the remaining signs above their heads and soon found himself right next to the surgery facilities. They'd have to cross just one more hallway and they'd be there. Baekhyun could already spot the word "Supply" on a door at the far end.

His feet were already set to move, when he felt a strong jerk against his shoulder. He was about to curse in shock, but a confused look at Kyungsoo shut him up quickly. Silently, the other pointed at a broad glass window next to them. Baekhyun threw a glance through the dirty glass. His eyes widened and he withdrew back out of sight as fast as a bunny, disappearing in its hole.

"God help us." He whispered and the panic caused his body to slump down.

Kyungsoo was still trying to hold him up but Baekhyun could tell that the fear was weighing him down just as much, "Get up Baekhyun, this is not the moment to go all nuts on me."

"Not the moment?!" Baekhyun almost forgot to keep his voice down, "There's over twenty infected people, caged in there, like chicken. And you tell me not to panic?"

"Hear me out: We can make our way around them, look", Kyungsoo pointed at the entrance door to the Surgery facilities, which was shut tight with several chains and padlocks, "It's locked."

Baekhyun furrowed his brows and then jerked his head back at Kyungsoo, "Someone... Someone locked them in?"

"Seems like it." Kyungsoo shrugged, "However, I'm afraid I don't really care who I need to thank right now. Let's go."

They crouched down, bodies hiding underneath the window frame. Baekhyun could hear them breathe against the glass, standing so close to each other that their shoulders were pressed together. Kyungsoo might have found it easy to dismiss the whole situation but to Baekhyun the whole thing still seemed more than fishy. Someone had caved in a horde of infected. How? Obviously, whoever had fulfilled this miracle couldn't have been alone either, which meant there was a group somewhere. Survivors perhaps, but where could they be now? Baekhyun's breath hitched as an idea crossed him: What if they were still around somewhere?

For the longest time, Baekhyun had felt adamant that humanity had died. That he was the only one left, on his own, solemnly surviving for a purpose that he would question every morning. He couldn't imagine that someone else could have had enough luck to live through the apocalypse for over four years. Then again, he was the living proof that a mere promise, a dog and a certain amount of luck were enough to keep someone alive, no matter the circumstances. Meeting Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Minseok would have been unimaginable to him a mere week ago, too. Perhaps, he should open his mind a bit more.

"We need to find them." Baekhyun whispered, realizing belatedly that he had spoken out loud.

Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder to muster him with a look that made Baekhyun feel like a naïve child, "What for?"

"Think about it." Baekhyun said, as they finally left the Surgery-facilities behind, "Whoever it is, is obviously not infected and not an easy opponent either. Wouldn't our chances of survival rise, if we had someone like whoever this was on our team?"

Kyungsoo sighed, the frustration evident on his face, "We're not here to fight anyone Baekhyun. It would just be another mouth to feed."

"But-"

"No, you don't understand." Baekhyun flinched as Kyungsoo took a step towards him, the anger causing his hands to ball into fists and his eyes to turn dark, "This is the end of the world. We have an opponent that we can't defeat. I'm sorry if your feeling of justice keeps you from understanding that, but I'm not willing to risk the life of the few remaining people that mean something to me, just to feel like a god damn hero."

Baekhyun scoffed, the need to defend himself overwhelming his thoughts, "And you think hiding away beneath your blanket will do those people any good? You think that will save them?"

"You have no idea what the hell you're talking about Baekhyun; it's not getting into your head." Kyungsoo's voice had taken on a high pitch of despair, "You've always been on your own. You don't know what it means to-..."

He stopped himself before he could end the sentence but Baekhyun's fury wouldn't let the topic die down, not like this, "What it means to what?"

Kyungsoo's eyes were staring into his soul, almost looking like he silently pleaded Baekhyun not to make him speak, but he did so anyway: "To loose all that you have."

The words stabbed harder into Baekhyun's chest than the sharp blade in his hand ever could have. His mind shut down, his mouth unable to form words as the sorrow flooded his mind. There was so much anger bubbling inside of him, but interestingly not at Kyungsoo. Not even at the horde of infected a few metres away from them. All the anger, all the regret he felt was directed only towards himself. He wanted to scream, wanted to thrash and make Kyungsoo understand just how incredibly wrong he was. But, he couldn't.

Why mourn over a decision that had been his own? Why regret the things that he had decided to do? He had no right. Yet, he couldn't help the tightness of his chest and the sharp wire rope that cut his air-way, until he had no other choice but to let the tears out. He couldn't face Kyungsoo and instead averted his eyes, to stare at the dirty floor.

"Baekhyun, I-" Kyungsoo's hand stretched out with hesitation, but Baekhyun took a step back with his jaw tight, "I-... I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was saying."

Somehow, it felt strange to see the other man like this, misplaced. Even more, than that night, when Jongin had broken through the door. Baekhyun knew just from that memory, how much Kyungsoo must have lost. How much he must have witnessed to react like this. He wanted nothing but to protect the people dear to him. He was nothing like Baekhyun; he was a real hero. Because, while Kyungsoo always put his loved ones before himself, Baekhyun had let the only person dear to him down. That was what made them so different. That was what made Kyungsoo a hero and Baekhyun...

A coward.

"Don't apologize." he muttered, trying to loosen his stiff limbs at least a little, "It's fine. Maybe, we should-"

They had their weapons up in no time and wild gazes trained on the far end of the hallway. It took just a second and the same 'clank'-sound echoed against the walls. Baekhyun was tense, anger forgotten and all his senses trained on not panicking. Kyungsoo's eyes had grown to twice their size and Baekhyun gave him a weary side-glance. He contemplated suggesting turning around, but he knew that wasn't an option. They had to get into the Supply-chamber. It was the only reason why they were here after all and Baekhyun knew better than to think Kyungsoo would show the white feather, because of some ominous sound. Not if Jongin's life was at stake.

"I'm going." Baekhyun whispered and started moving, before Kyungsoo could disagree.

His head was pounding with the force of the adrenaline that pumped his blood. Every sense was hyper-aware, zooming in on the source of the sound. It seemed like it came from around the corner, which they had to turn, to get to the Supply-chamber. With a tight grip on his machete, Baekhyun pressed himself against the wall, only a breath away from the edge. With a last glance at Kyungsoo, he took a deep breath and whirled around the corner, his machete up.

And right into the mouth of a gun.

His heart skipped a beat but the deafening sound of a shot didn't occur, "Don't move."

Baekhyun looked up at the deep voice and found a matching face. Handsome, young features were scrunched up behind the gun and a piercing gaze made Baekhyun freeze in place. It was a young man, not older than him, with the wildest mob of orange hair hanging into his face that Baekhyun had ever seen. His clothes were ragged and as Baekhyun's eyes met his waist, he noticed that the man was holding his side. The sight of fresh blood made him feel nauseous.

"Put it down." The man continued, nodding at the machete in Baekhyun's hand, "The guns too."

He obeyed without hesitation and slowly moved to place his weapons on the ground, using the opportunity to cast a glance at Kyungsoo. The man was looking at him from behind the corner, moving to get the gun on his back into his hands. He had his index pressed against his lips – a signal for Baekhyun to keep quiet. It seemed like the stranger had yet to spot Baekhyun's companion.

"There." Baekhyun said, watching every reaction of his counterpart closely, "Now, calm down. I don't want any trouble."

"Who are you?" the stranger asked, stepping towards Baekhyun and kicking the machete and guns out of reach.

"My name is Baekhyun, I'm here, because of a friend. He's not well, you see." he tried, raising his hands to signal his surrender. Then, when the stranger didn't seem to speak up any time soon, Baekhyun added: "Are you the one who locked in the infected?"

The stranger's thick brows furrowed even more and he huffed, his figure hobbling a little in what Baekhyun assumed to be the side-effects of his wound, "That's none of your business. I want you to leave."

"I cant, I need medications for my friend." Baekhyun said.

"I said, I want you to leave!" The stranger shouted, panic causing his voice to crack at the edge. He was shaking the gun uncomfortably close to Baekhyun's face and for the first time, Baekhyun felt genuinely scared of his opponent, "Go!"

"I'd drop that, if I were you."

There wasn't even a glint of shock in the stranger's eyes, when Kyungsoo's riffle pressed against the back of his head. His shoulders dropped and he handed the gun to Baekhyun, acknowledging his defeat rather quick. Baekhyun grabbed the handgun, trying not to shiver at the fresh blood that caused the grip to stick to his palm. Without hesitation, he turned it and pointed it at the stranger. Only, he was met with an amused smirk, instead of some sort of fear or anger.

"You might want to take one of your own, that one's empty." he grumbled.

Baekhyun eyed him with confusion and when Kyungsoo nodded at him to check, he opened the magazine. It was empty, just like the man had promised. However, instead of grabbing one of his own guns, Baekhyun mustered the man more intently. He didn't seem like he even wanted to attempt putting up a fight. Was it a trick, to get them distracted? He could tell Kyungsoo had the same thoughts, shooting a confused glance at the back of his opponent's head.

Why would someone who had survived the apocalypse for years, not only send the only other survivors away but also make the task of killing him the easiest possible? It didn't make any sense. Well, considering the only occupation, the man had followed was looming around an empty hospital and the fact that his guts were slowly leaving his body at this point, maybe his reactions weren't so crazy after all. Still, the only question that Baekhyun found to be important had only been avoided so far.

"Did you lock up the infected? Is someone else here, too?" he tried once more.

"This again?" The stranger huffed, seeming rather annoyed than desperate for his life, "I'm alone. But, even if there was anyone else, I wouldn't tell you."

Kyungsoo's jaw tensed, at the man's second dodge of question, "Spit it out. Did you lock them up?"

"Who knows." The stranger shrugged and even had the audacity to giggle.

"I'll shoot your freaking brain out, if you don't answer our goddamn question."

"Then your friend might want to move a little to the left", he swiped his hand, to make Baekhyun step aside, "just in case the bullet goes through my head. Or else, it's bye-bye handsome dainty."

Kyungsoo jostled his riffle a little against the stranger's head, "What the hell? Do you have a death wish?"

Baekhyun met the man's eye, his brows furrowing at the utter calmness in his gaze. Did he want to die, after all? Had he lost all hope of surviving and finding safety? It could be possible; Baekhyun knew just how tempting death was at the hardest of times. But the prospect didn't fit, somehow. Otherwise, why would he still hold on to his flesh and try to stop the blood from leaving his body completely? He could have just as well sat down and let himself bleed to death, if that was what he wanted. None of the man's actions made sense and suddenly he understood why.

"He doesn't." he answered Kyungsoo's question, before the stranger could give another pert reply, "But he knows we won't do it."

Seeing the sly smirk that spread across the man's lips was enough to convince Baekhyun that he was right, "I knew from the moment you put down your weapon."

"We might not be the ones killing you, because god knows there has been enough death", Baekhyun stepped closer and with a swift move, he pressed his thumb into the other's wound, watching how his face scrunched up in pain, "but this will, if you don't treat it soon."

He let go and the stranger took a few deep breaths, to steady himself. Baekhyun had to admit; he was a tough guy, to be so collected with a hole in his torso, "What do you want from me?"

"We want to help." Baekhyun answered, earning himself a sceptic look from Kyungsoo, "But we also want answers."

A long moment of silence, only broken by the distant snarling of the infected, "Fine."

Kyungsoo finally lowered his riffle but his eyes were still trained on the stranger, ready to act when necessary. Baekhyun contemplated asking him to relax, but then again, he wasn't going to play 'best-buddies' with their opponent already. A little trust was good. Too much trust was lethal. Baekhyun collected his weapons and together, the three men finished their journey to the Supply-station.

It looked like a small ICU with countless shelves adorning the walls and even with the light switched on, the single naked bulb in the middle didn't provide the room with a lot of light. Baekhyun sat the stranger down on a table, while Kyungsoo went through the boxes and bottles, to collect what they came for. Meanwhile, Baekhyun rummaged through his backpack and pulled out a bandage and some germicide. It would have to suffice for the moment and stop the bleeding, if the wound wasn't too big. He could only pray it wasn't.

"Can you take your shirt off?" Baekhyun asked absentmindedly, as he unravelled the bandage.

"So eager to see me naked already?" A pointed look from Baekhyun was enough to make the stranger roll his eyes, "Just a joke."

They peeled off the bloody shirt and Baekhyun made work of the wound on his torso. It wasn't too deep but wide enough to have the blood leave the man's body in a way too steady flow. Grabbing a cloth from one of the boxes nearby, Baekhyun started to clean out the wound as best as he could, ignoring the pained sounds of his charge. When that was done, he sprayed the germicide onto a pad in thick layers and pressed it to the wound. It elicited another silent curse from the stranger but Baekhyun was impressed to say that he had yet to actually cry from the pain.

"Turn around, I have to fasten the bandage somewhere, where it won't disable you." Baekhyun commanded and this time the man followed without a witty comment.

His back was lean, spine prodding at the skin and Baekhyun only then noticed how thin the man was – Even more so than him. Then, his eyes were caught by another small detail on the man's shoulder blade. There, beneath the skin, laid a tattoo. Dark ink spelling one single word: Liberty.

His brows furrowed. Somehow, the word rang a bell in his head but he couldn't quite place why. It felt like he had to remember something. Like the word was important – familiar even, but only fleetingly. A small detail that shouldn't carry as much meaning as it did to Baekhyun. Ripping his eyes off the tattoo, he decided that he would have to postpone his thoughts for later and finished up the bandage.

"You're right, I did lock up the infected." The stranger finally mumbled, when Baekhyun was in the middle of pulling the bandage around his torso.

Baekhyun raised a brow but decided not to comment on the revelation for now. They could talk later. Right now, he just wanted to escape this place and turn back to their hiding spot. He threw a short glance out of the doorway, through the window. If they hurried, he would be back in Chanyeol's arms before sunset.

"Done." he murmured and started to pack up his things.

"Thanks." The man replied and pulled his ripped shirt back on, "So, how is this going to go? You guys leaving already?"

"Yes." Baekhyun answered and adjusted the small ponytail in his neck, "And you're gonna go with us."

He could feel Kyungsoo's eyes darken already, at the idea, "Baekhyun, do I have to remind you of our last conversation?"

"No, thank you, I remember perfectly fine." he said, seeing Kyungsoo's eyes drop a little with the guilt that still seemed to hang around, "We can't leave him here."

"Yes we can, he's fine!"

"If we leave him here, he's not going to continue being fine very long." he said, ignoring the stranger's small 'hey!'. Kyungsoo obviously still wasn't very convinced but Baekhyun wouldn't give in so easily, "What differs him from Minseok? Or me? Imagine it was Chanyeol, would you still leave him on his own?" he could see Kyungsoo's walls crumble, with every name and then: "Imagine it was Jongin."

He almost felt guilty, using the other's weak spot like he did, but Baekhyun wasn't going to give in, just because Kyungsoo wasn't feeling comfortable. Because, even after listening to his friend's point of view, Baekhyun still couldn't adapt to the idea of simply leaving the stranger on his own. Humanity's numbers had dropped into the abyss, there was no doubt, and everyone who was capable of keeping themselves alive for so long deserved a supporting hand. Baekhyun liked to think that even he was worthy of the group of friends he had made.

"If he slows us down, you'll carry him." Kyungsoo growled, his eyes dark but calm.

Baekhyun nodded his head and helped the stranger stand up, "What if I don't want to come? What if I want to stay?"

Snorting, Baekhyun checked the bandages for the last time and hoisted up his backpack, "Then you're mad. And you know that."

He seemed to have a point, because the man remained silent. They navigated their way back through the hospital and outside into the open. The sun was already starting to lower towards the horizon and Baekhyun noticed their new companion flinch a little at the light.

"Exactly how long have you been in there?" he dared to ask.

The man lowered his gaze and took in the world around him, almost as if he saw it for the first time, "I'm not sure, the days kept blending into each other." he admitted, "but judging from all the weeds that weren't there when I entered, probably pretty long."

"And how long is pretty long?" Kyungsoo asked, barely showing any earnest interest.

"Half a year, maybe."

Baekhyun stopped in his tracks to give the man a look. Half a year? In a hospital? On his own? Baekhyun had always thought himself to be lucky but this was a completely new level. No, this wasn't even luck anymore, this was obviously survival skill at its peak. He couldn't wrap his head around one thing, though:

"Why would you choose a hospital? You must know it's one of the most crowded places."

The man ran a hand through his orange hair and Baekhyun caught another glimpse of his 'liberty'-tattoo, "It's a long story."

"Mhm, I bet." Baekhyun frowned at Kyungsoo's tune but he decided not to break the thin ice he had brought beneath his feet, for now.

They continued their walk in silence and Baekhyun couldn't help but to notice the several glances he earned himself from the stranger. At first, they were subtle, as if he was just looking in Baekhyun's direction by coincidence but the further the hospital moved behind them, the longer those intense eyes started to linger. He didn't encourage it, kept to himself and barely looked back at their companion. But the prickling that the man's gaze left on his skin was simply not ignorable. Thankfully, their journey was short-lived and they reached the safety of their silo a little faster than Baekhyun had anticipated.

When they opened the door, Anthony was all over him, panting and wiggling his tail in excitement. Baekhyun greeted him with a warm smile, kneeling down to run his hands through the knotty fur. When he got up, his eyes landed on Chanyeol's frame. He was looming at their doorway and his eyes were widened, as if he had seen a ghost. Then, as if ripped from a nightmare, the giant sped over to his side, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun, tight enough to suffocate him. He barely had enough time to squeeze his friend back, before Chanyeol grabbed his shoulders and shook him frantically.

"What the hell, Baekhyun?!" His voice was loud and his grip edging on painful but Baekhyun knew better than to complain, "What were you thinking?! You-... I wake up and you're just... gone! I felt so betrayed! I thought you left us! I thought you were..."

He fell silent and Baekhyun felt his heart clench with the guilt that poured through him, "I'm sorry Chanyeol... I'm so sorry. I didn't think-"

Truly, he understood, he really hadn't thought at all. Why did he leave without telling Chanyeol anything? Did he really think it was better like this? Sure, the giant would have tried to stop him or tried to accompany him but in retrospective, there could have been way bigger problems. What if he had never made it back? He would have left Chanyeol behind, without a word, a reason, anything to explain. God knew what Chanyeol would have done. He could imagine that the man would have gone out to look for him sooner or later, just endangering himself even more. He might have even started to blame himself. Would he even want to fight on with this sudden loss, having not only Baekhyun but, maybe, also Kyungsoo gone?

One way or another, if this had gone wrong, Baekhyun would have been gone and Chanyeol would have never known why.

He felt like absolute shit. All he could do was to pull the giant into another tight hug and whisper apology after apology into his ear. At first, Chanyeol was tense, almost shaking with the fury he probably felt but after the tenth 'I'm sorry, I'll never do it again', he started to ease into the touch. A sigh of relief left Baekhyun's lips and he allowed himself to stop apologizing. He felt a last soft peck against his skin, before Chanyeol pulled away again, immediately rubbing at his eyes.

Somehow, Baekhyun couldn't bear to not have Chanyeol close and he searched the giant's hand with his own. He even allowed himself to reach up and run a hand through Chanyeol's hair, hoping it would calm him down, like it had in the past. The taller left their hands intertwined but he still pulled his head away. Baekhyun tried not to give into the sting he felt. He didn't have any right to feel offended, not when he had created such a huge mess. Maybe he should apologize to Chanyeol in privacy once more.

"Who's your friend?" Chanyeol asked, obviously trying to loosen the uncomfortable tension.

That was when Baekhyun remembered their new company again, "Oh, yeah. W-we met him in the hospital. He was hurt and we took him along."

The stranger gave a careful smile, "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah you too." Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun in favour of shaking the stranger's hand, "I'm Chanyeol."

"Sehun."

Baekhyun froze.

The earth started spinning in his mind.

The floor disappeared beneath his feet.

Liberty. Sehun. Oh Sehun. Project Oh – #20 – 2053.

Antivirus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could fate really be so generous, as to grant humanity another chance? 
> 
> We will find out together, I promise you! 
> 
> Until then though, sleep well, eat a lot and stay hydrated my sweet traveller! 
> 
> I love u a lot, thank you for reading my story! <3 <3


	7. Borders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi, welcome back!! 
> 
> It´s been a while since the last update TUT I must say, it´s nice to post again and I hope you like this chapter as well! 
> 
> Greetings to my favourite two readers, Stefan, Dina I love u so much <3 Thank you for believing in this story, even if I don´t most of the time… 
> 
> Now, let´s continue the ride, shall we?

As if stung by a bee, Baekhyun darted towards his and Chanyeol´s shared room, leaving the giant and Sehun to stare after him in confusion. Anthony was still glued to his side, excitedly whacking his tail and seemingly oblivious to Baekhyun´s sudden change of mood. His backpack was still neatly tucked away, next to their mattress and he ripped it open rough enough to make one of the old buttons pop off. Clothes, containers and a water bottle flew all around the room and he almost panicked that he had lost what he was searching for, until his fingers grazed the rough surface of worn paper. He pulled out the envelope and ripped it open as well.

With racing breath, Baekhyun scanned the lines and pictures, now obviously recognizing Sehun on the pictures. Looking closer, Baekhyun spotted an orange hairline, almost invisible beneath black dye. He had originally thought that the man was born with the raven black colour but now, he knew better. Looking at the date, there were more than two years between those pictures and now, therefore it was really no surprise that Baekhyun hadn´t recognized Sehun right away. There was less colour to his cheeks and every inch of his body had slimmed down to skin, muscle and bone. He knew that the ‘Liberty’-tattoo had been important but if he had not heard Sehun say his own name, Baekhyun probably never would have made the connection.

Now, he almost felt like he had slipped from reality. How high was the chance that they had really met Sehun? The obvious solution to this whole mess that was defiling humanity without so much as the blink of an eye. But, there was no doubt. The tattoo, the face…

The eyes.

He was stern, analysing – almost obsessively checking his surroundings and not even trusting those who were left alive. Now, it made a strange kind of sense, why Sehun had been able to survive the infected for so long, despite being completely on his own. Even if he had been bitten or had gotten in contact with their blood, he wouldn´t have turned. The thought made him shiver. Had Sehun been bitten? Was there a chance that he would still turn, only later than others? Was there a chance that he would turn right now? If he had been bitten, Baekhyun hadn´t seen any marks. On the other hand: he hadn´t really been looking out for them either, so everything was possible.

The idea made his heart race and he immediately followed his first instinct: Chanyeol.

With the photos and data-sheets, still clutched in his hand, Baekhyun stormed towards the door and grabbed a handgun in his way. When he was just half-way through the door, he stumbled right into Chanyeol.

“Hey Baek, can we-“ Upon spotting the weapon in Baekhyun´s hand, his eyes widened, “Oh my god, what the hell are you doing?!”

“Stay behind me Chanyeol.” he ordered and after giving him a wary glance, Chanyeol obeyed.

It was comforting to know that Chanyeol was still willing to trust him just as much as ever, despite Baekhyun´s little fuck-up. He didn´t deserve the trust put in him but he was still willing to take it. They darted back to the entrance area, where Sehun was still awkwardly looking around, obviously unsure as to what he was supposed to do. At the sight of Baekhyun´s furious face though, his brows scrunched together in distrust.

“On the floor.” Baekhyun ordered with a shriek in his voice, his hand shaking ever so softly, as he pointed the gun at Sehun – A breathing, human being.

Anthony had started barking and growling now, seeing Baekhyun´s distressed state. He could see the question on Sehun´s tongue but the man remained silent and moved to kneel down with a wince and a wary look at Anthony. He was leaning heavily on his side, obviously still bothered by the wound in his torso. His usually stern eyes were wider than Baekhyun remembered them to be. The dark colour shining in the light with a human trait that Baekhyun had not expected from the man – panic. On the other hand, even if Sehun didn´t have to fear the dead, he sure as hell had a reason to fear the living. Specifically: Baekhyun.

“Take your shirt off.” he said, his voice a lot more steady, now that he was sure he had the upper hand.

Behind him, Chanyeol´s presence was growing more and more nervous, “Baekhyun, what are you doing? What´s going on?”

“I´ll explain in a second.” Baekhyun responded, his eyes glancing at Sehun´s figure over the mouth of his gun, “Now move!”

After a bit of hesitation, Sehun finally gave in, grabbing at the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. The bandages were still neatly in place and there were a few traces of dried blood still clinging onto his skin. A scar here and there, some bruises. Nothing that Baekhyun hadn´t seen before. But, why was he clutching his other side so much? Wasn´t he supposed to hold onto his wound? Instead, Sehun´s fingers were pressing into the skin, low on his other side.

“Move your hand!” Baekhyun screeched and Sehun´s eyes widened, immediately retracing his hand and what laid there made Baekhyun´s brows furrow;

Nothing. Just a patch of scratched skin.

Sehun´s breaths had grown more rapid, but he managed to squeeze out: “What the hell do you want? Did you just bring me here to shoot me?”

“No, I-“

“What the hell is going on here?” Baekhyun looked up in shock, to find Kyungsoo in his doorway, “What´s all the noise about. Baekhyun, put the freaking gun down.”

“No, you don´t understand, he´s-“ his voice failed him.

Had he misunderstood? Were his assumptions wrong? Had he blinded himself with the wish of finally having an answer to all the chaos and the dead? Honestly speaking, how high were the chances that they randomly bumped into the only person on the planet who could bring peace to humanity, on a stroll through the next town? Zero. He had gone crazy, hadn´t he? After all these years of believing he had managed to hold onto the last string of right mind that he had left, this was the last clue he needed. The world had worn him out. He had gone crazy. But… What if he hadn´t?

“Baekhyun, may I kindly remind you that you were the one who was so adamant on bringing this guy here?” Kyungsoo was practically boiling at this point, disbelief and frustration making his face take on a deep red colour, “And now you want to shoot him? Have you lost your mind?!”

“No- please. Listen to me-“

Kyungsoo´s head shook frantically and stepped towards Baekhyun, not even flinching when Anthony started to snarl at him instead, “I´ve listened to you enough already. Quit your damn bullshit and get out of here.”

Chanyeol´s eyebrows shot up in disbelief at Kyungsoo´s statement, “You can´t-”

“Let him speak.” They all turned to where Kyungsoo had come from just a second ago, to find Minseok mustering them with a stern face.

No one dared to disrupt the man. Even Kyungsoo was silent, despite his pleading gaze. Minseok looked drained, he squatted down and in a matter of seconds, Anthony was by his side, licking comforting stripes over his hands. Seemed like they had formed a bond, when Baekhyun had been gone. He was thankful for Anthony´s care though. Minseok looked like he hadn´t rested in days and his jaw was so tight, Baekhyun could see the muscles twitch beneath his stubbly skin. This was a Minseok that you shouldn´t start an argument with. Not, if you didn´t have a death wish.

Finally, Baekhyun managed to pull himself back together and turned back to Sehun, his eyes adamant, “You-…” he gulped, “you´ve been bitten, haven´t you?”

Their eyes met and Sehun´s piercing gaze left no doubt in Baekhyun that this was the young boy he had seen on the pictures. They had aged, way more than just a few years, having probably seen more darkness and terror than Baekhyun could imagine. Perhaps, he should feel bad for the younger, after all Sehun couldn´t be much older than 20 and already had the whole weight of humanity´s future on his shoulders.

Yet, he still held his chin high as he answered: “…Yes.”

A collective gasp went through the remaining men, only Baekhyun remained frozen. From the corner of his eye, he could already see Minseok pulling a handgun from his boot to slowly point it at the man´s head. A precaution for now, but Baekhyun knew that Sehun was walking on thin ice. Anthony looked distressed now, confused as to whom he had to protect and whom he might have to attack, but soon enough his big dog-eyes were fixed on Sehun, wearing a wary expression. With a wave of guilt, Baekhyun realized that he was the one to put him there in the first place.

It was all he could do, to step between Sehun and the mouth of Minseok´s gun, earning a few questioning gazes, “Wait! Let him explain.”

Minseok´s gaze was hard, questioning, already bordering on scared, but he lowered his gun, “You better make it quick.”

Baekhyun nodded and gave Sehun a look. The younger looked back and took a deep breath and for a moment, Baekhyun almost thought he would refuse to speak. But then, Sehun pulled the side of his pants down to his hip, to reveal what had everyone in the circle gasp and step back in fear. Even Baekhyun flinched a little, as he identified the faded scar, shaped like a huge bite wound. For all Baekhyun knew, Sehun could have, just as well been bitten by a dog. He didn´t even want to imagine how painful that must have been.

“It was an experiment.” He started.

Before he could carry on though, Chanyeol´s voice rose high above their tense silence, “An experiment?! What the hell are you saying! This is messed up! You´re-”

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun whispered, his hand finding its place on Chanyeol´s chest.

He could feel the taller´s breath stutter beneath his palm and the tension in his muscles radiated more fear than Baekhyun had ever seen on the man, “Hear him out.”

It took two long minutes of sizzling silence, before Chanyeol ran a hand over his face and nodded.

They all looked back at Sehun and he started to speak again: “The bite is two years old. I promise that you have nothing to fear.” Baekhyun felt the scepticism in their rows but thankfully, everyone kept their mouths shut this time, “It´s true, we have been working on a cure. I volunteered to be one of the hosts they needed for the antivirus, along with 19 other people around my age.”

“Number 20.” Baekhyun mumbled, remembering the number in the files´ names.

Sehun nodded, “I was the last one. The others…” he cleared his throat and Baekhyun noticed his hands shaking, where they laid in his lap, “The first few turned, one or two had the joy of experiencing nothing at all, except for nausea or a very long headache. Most of them died.”

A heavy silence went through the room, as Sehun took a few breaths to collect himself from the memories, “The scientists didn´t believe that they would still find something within the last three people and most of them had already given up hope, by the time it was my turn to be tested. Except for one of them, Kim Jongdae. He still believed that they were close to the cure and I agreed to a last test.”

“And it worked?” Minseok asked.

“It was like a miracle.” Sehun said, “I was actually committed that however the test would end, I wouldn´t witness it anymore. But when the experiment ended and I came out of the lab, I knew that there would be hope again. So did Jongdae and the rest of the scientists. We were stationed in the hazard-zone at first, where we could get easy access to infected.”

“That was the house we were in.” Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol and found him to be a lot calmer than before, “Where I found the files.”

“Exactly”, Sehun allowed himself to relax and sit down properly, “We decided it was time to move back to a safe-zone. There was a lot of military involved, lots of firepower… we were supposed to be safe and have no difficulties in getting through the city.”

Minseok huffed in distress, “It´s never that easy.”

“That´s what we came to realize halfway through the journey as well.” Sehun admitted, “We got split up. I lost Jongdae somewhere and started hiding in the hospital. One of the guards had accidentally shoved me into a metal pipe and I was almost dead, when I reached the hospital to treat myself. If it weren´t for the antivirus, I might have died already on the steps of the front door, there were infected everywhere.”

Kyungsoo dared to step closer that moment, squatting down next to Sehun, “So you´re saying you really can´t be infected?”

“Not only that.” Sehun said and his voice was dead silent, as if he was still not convinced about the reality in his words, “I can barely even die.”

The words settled in and Baekhyun looked at the man in front of him in disbelief. So, the antivirus had not only saved Sehun from being infected but from dying over all? Thinking about it, maybe it made sense. The virus was a sickness like every other, only setting itself apart from other diseases by its symptoms. Therefore, the body should be able to cure it like it cured a cough. Only that the human´s body wasn´t capable of the amount of strength it would need to eliminate the virus. It simply was too strong. Which meant raising the body´s ability to cure itself would ultimately also kill the virus. So, it wasn´t an antivirus in the typical form, but instead an additive. In the end, it was still the body that defeated the virus.

“Look, I´ll prove it to you.” Sehun hurried and drew Baekhyun´s attention back to him.

He moved to peel off the bandage around his torso and Baekhyun was about to yell at him to stop, before his entrails would fall out of his body, when the wound came into his view. There, where Baekhyun had seen an open gash, almost as long as his hand a mere couple of hours ago, laid a thin, red line, barely more than a scratch. He gaped in disbelief. It really was true: Sehun´s body was mutated – Enhanced, to be something almost supernatural.

“There´s more.” Sehun continued and everyone´s eyebrows shot up; how could there be even more than this? “They can´t see me.”

“Huh?” Kyungsoo´s eyebrows were scrunched together but Baekhyun realized that he was willing to listen.

“I´m uninteresting to the virus.” Sehun explained, “They won´t even try to attack me, even if I touch them. It´s as if I´m actually non-existent to them.”

Baekhyun nodded in understanding, “That´s how you were able to lock up all the infected. You just pushed them in?”

Sehun nodded.

“Okay, but”, Kyungsoo´s eyes were still narrowed in distrust, “then, how the wound? If it wasn´t the infected, then what was it?”

A faint redness crept up into Sehun´s cheeks, “When I heard you two come through the entrance, I panicked. I ran to get my handgun and stumbled. Fell right into a scalpel.”

Minseok huffed out a disbelieving laugh, “So, stupidity?”

Sehun pouted, “Essentially…”

“I can´t believe this…” Kyungsoo mumbled and shook his head, “This is absolutely crazy.”

“You don´t believe me?” Sehun panicked and Baekhyun almost smiled at his big puppy eyes.

“No, no I do.” Kyungsoo said and Baekhyun´s head hurt a little when he saw the tiredness seep into his shoulders, “It´s just. A lot.”

Minseok stepped forward to place a steadying hand on Kyungsoo´s shoulder, before looking at Sehun, “Is it transferable?”

Sehun pondered on the question, “I think it is, but only to the same blood-type as mine, meaning AB positive. The real additive is still with Jongdae.”

“I guess that means Jongin has to pull through on meds and sleep.” Minseok concluded and Baekhyun´s heart broke into little pieces, when he saw Kyungsoo´s face disappear in his hands. The man he thought to be the toughest out of all of them had shrunk to a little boy. Even Anthony seemed to sense his agony, as he shuffled closer and nudged him in a silent question. A question Baekhyun had missed to ask for so long. Will you be okay?

Sehun´s eyes were pinned on the small man as well, filling with regret, “I´m sorry…” he whispered.

Baekhyun stepped forward, to give Sehun a reassuring hand, “Don´t apologize. You´re not at fault.”

“Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun looked up to see Chanyeol´s arms enveloping Kyungsoo´s crouched frame, “Come on, let´s go. You need to rest.”

He had never heard Chanyeol speak like this but he guessed it was something that he could never quite experience. His voice was filled with a steady kind of warmth; Authoritative, but understanding, nonetheless. No doubt, a product of years spent together – years that weren´t filled with death and destruction but only with the warmth of friendship and love that had to be considered destiny in a world that held peace. Something Baekhyun could never share with Chanyeol. The spark of jealousy made him feel guilty and he wished Chanyeol would hold him instead. But, he kept silent and instead decided to feel thankful that someone took care of Kyungsoo. Nonetheless, it made him question if Chanyeol still held some kind of feelings for the small man.

After a few seconds of coaxing, Kyungsoo stood up, swaying slightly and Baekhyun was already prepared to catch him. But, the man stood his ground and focused his red eyes on the ground in front of him, leaning heavily on Chanyeol, as they made their way into his and Jongin´s room. They left a heavy silence behind and Baekhyun almost thanked Minseok for finally breaking it.

“You should all get some sleep, it´s late. Sehun can stay in your room today.”

Baekhyun gave him a worried look, “What about you?”

“I´ll sleep in one of the chairs.” Minseok shrugged, “Right now, I think I could sleep on a pile of needles.”

Before Baekhyun could disagree, Minseok had already turned and moved towards the circle of chairs. He turned his head to look at Sehun and the man gave him an unsure expression. He looked tired too, not as bad as Minseok, but his lids were heavy and his shoulders slumped. Baekhyun tried a reassuring smile but it felt more like a pained grimace.

“Let´s go.”

They moved into his and Chanyeol´s room and Baekhyun immediately slumped down on the mattress. Anthony showed not reluctance in burying his head right into Baekhyun´s chest but Sehun seemed hesitant. However, after motioning him over, the man languidly plopped down next to Baekhyun. He draped the blankets over them and Baekhyun smiled softly at the gesture. Outside, the world had almost grown dark and only left the last bit of red glow to illuminate their room. They shared a bit of silence, before Baekhyun turned his head, to look at the other.

“How does it feel?”

“Huh?” Sehun´s head whipped around to look at him.

“How does it feel?” he repeated, “Being invincible.”

Sehun huffed out a soft laugh and turned to lay on his side, to face Baekhyun, “It´s… different. I don´t feel almighty or like a god or anything, I´m just… somewhere else, you know?”

Baekhyun didn´t, but he decided not to question it, “I bet you´d be an awesome superhero.” he wasn´t sure, why he said that. Probably, because his brain already started to grow foggy with exhaustion and the need to sleep. But, if he could dread sleep a little longer – if he could dread seeing HIM… he would.

“You think so?” Sehun grinned at him gently and for a moment the expression made Baekhyun almost felt like a naïve child, “Why´s that?”

“Well, you can´t get hurt!” he mumbled, his lips becoming heavier and heavier with exhaustion, “And you don´t have to rely on anyone but yourself. There´s nothing you have to fear and no one has to protect you…”

Sehun´s next words were silent: “…I still feel pain and fear, you know?” Baekhyun looked at him, meeting tired eyes, too mature for such a young age. He didn´t know how to answer, so he stayed silent and let the other continue, “I just have one less fear than you guys. But I still have the same feelings.” he mustered Baekhyun with something the older couldn´t name, “The same wishes…”

Before Baekhyun could properly react, there were lips on his own and Sehun´s presence was enveloping him. He let him, too tired to stop him, even though the memory of Chanyeol´s lips was punching the guilt into his heart. Sehun´s kisses were a lot different from Chanyeol´s. Less desperate, less insistent and the longer it lasted, the more Baekhyun noticed. He felt too surreal, this wasn´t right.

Placing a hand on Sehun´s chest to push him away, he whispered a soft: “I can´t.”

Surprisingly, Sehun´s eyes were understanding: “It´s the tall one, isn´t it?”

Again, Baekhyun was robbed of all words and he could do nothing but to watch Sehun burry his face into the sleeping bag and close his eyes. He couldn´t tear his eyes away from the boy for a long time, thoughts over thoughts buzzing in his head like a swarm of bees. There was so much fear, coming from every possible side and he almost felt ashamed for the amount of things he was too craven to face. He fought sleep, even though his body felt like porcelain that was ready to shatter at the slightest movement. By now, he must have been going over 48 hours without proper rest and he wished Chanyeol were lying beside him, to keep him close and protect him. But, he wasn´t. His Chanyeol was on the other side of the wall, taking care of Kyungsoo and Baekhyun felt the shame and jealousy eat him alive.

Finally, the bitterness of those thoughts was exhausting enough to pull him down into unconsciousness.

\--*--

“This is actually not so bad, considering we´re in the middle of the world´s end.” Taehyung mumbled, holding the dried chicken strips they had roasted in front of his face.

Baekhyun smirked, his mouth already stuffed to the brim, “Hell yeah, five star gourmet chef Kim Taehyung.”

He earned himself a laughter that made his heart flutter. They had been on the run for almost three weeks now and it seemed surreal how far they had come. In a few days, they would have crossed the bridge on the outer skirt of town, passed through the next one and reached the safety-zone Taehyung had found out about. They had discussed how they imagined it to be. How would the people react? Would there be a lot of people? Of course, they didn´t skip the food-part, curious whether they would have some proper chicken and a cold beer.

There was one thing they hadn´t talked about and Baekhyun knew that they probably wouldn´t anytime soon. What if the safety-zone wasn´t there? Baekhyun had thought about throwing the question into the room but he knew the only answer he would get from Taehyung would be something along the lines of ‘well, then we look for the next one’. Taehyung wouldn´t allow them to loose hope and Baekhyun wasn´t that much of a killjoy as to fight him.

Actually, he was thankful for the other´s optimism. He didn´t know how Taehyung managed to always keep a smile and his trust in the world but it was contagious. With every kilometre they covered, Baekhyun felt the hope rise in his chest as well; higher, than he would have estimated to be possible.

He handed Taehyung his last chicken-piece, “There. As payment for this astonishing meal.”

“Don´t be ridiculous, Baekhyun. If you don´t eat more soon, you could star as Jack in the next ‘Nightmare before Christmas.’” Taehyung waved off and Baekhyun pouted.

“But, you love chicken!”

Taehyung laughed and shook his head, before draping his arms over Baekhyun, “So do you. Now, eat.”

“No, you.”

“Byun Baekhyun!” Taehyung´s voice was so stage-authoritative that Baekhyun couldn´t help the wicked grin that spread over his face, “I swear to god, don´t make me force-feed you.”

Baekhyun scoffed, “As if your stick-arms could actually do that.”

“Watch me!”

Before Baekhyun knew what was going on, he let out an embarrassing squeak and was pushed to the ground. He tried to fight Taehyung, as he climbed on top of him but the laughter bubbling in his chest was Taehyung´s ally and not his own. Within mere seconds, Taehyung had taken place on his thighs, pinning him down with his body weight and one of his hands had pinned Baekhyun´s thin wrists together. Baekhyun admitted defeat with a giggle and let Taehyung push the last piece of chicken into his mouth. Munching happily, he looked up at his friend, who was carefully watching him gulp down the food.

Interestingly, Taehyung didn´t seem to have any plan to get up though and what was even more surprising was that Baekhyun didn´t mind that at all.

Instead he mumbled: “Your ass-bones are so sharp, I can feel them slice through my thighs.”

Taehyung snorted and rubbed a rough circle over one of Baekhyun´s hipbones, “You´re the one to talk. I could cut myself on basically every inch of your being. Even your cheekbones.” To empathize his point, he leaned closer to brush an index over said cheek and hissed in mock pain.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”

They shared a little bit of silence, eyes locked, until Taehyung spoke up again: “This reminds me of the party at Namjoon´s house.”

Baekhyun hid his face in his hands, “Ugh, don´t remind me.”

“You were so drunk off your ass, you just laid down on the floor and started singing ‘Can´t stop the feeling’ by Justin Timberlake.” He was shaking with laughter now and it took a lot for Baekhyun not to wince at the sharp movement against his own bones, “And then that chick showed up and just sat on top of you and you wouldn´t stop singing, even when she started grinding against you like there was no tomorrow. You were so gay, you didn´t even sport a boner.”

By now, Taehyung was beyond saving and Baekhyun decided to just go with it: “That was probably the most awkward thing that ever happened to me. I can´t believe you just watched me suffer, in favour of not loosing your spot on the couch.”

“Priorities.” Taehyung answered with a shrug.

His laughter had calmed down and he was merely grinning now, looking down at Baekhyun with a strange expression on his face. It felt weird, to be watched with such an expression, on top of that by his best friend for ages. Yet, Baekhyun didn´t mind as much as he probably should have. As the seconds passed, Taehyung moved to lean down, supporting his weight with his hands on either side of Baekhyun´s head. The pose felt awkward. Usually Baekhyun used to see them in all the Dramas him and Taehyung had always watched together. Still, he didn´t have it in him to push the other away. Because, it wasn’t really that bad it was actually… quite comforting.

“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung whispered, his breath fanning over Baekhyun´s cheeks as he nodded, “Does this feel awkward too?”

Baekhyun let out a soft sigh and found his hands levitating near Taehyung´s knees, “…Not as much as I would have thought.”

“Is that… good?” Taehyung mumbled and hadn´t he been only a mere inch away from his face, Baekhyun would have missed it.

“It´s-”, Baekhyun´s breath hitched, when he felt the weight of Taehyung´s hand on his chest, “It´s not bad.”

Taehyung´s face dove down and Baekhyun felt skin against his neck, sending shivers through his spine, “Tell me to stop.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked, every thought of doubt thrown through the window and his heart suddenly pounding at high-speed.

“I don´t know if you…” he gulped and his hands were tight on Baekhyun´s shoulders, “If you want this. What if it´s an impulse?”

Baekhyun could feel want start to simmer in his stomach, like the first bunch of tiny bubbles inside a pot, “What if it´s not?”

Taehyung´s frame curled in on itself, when Baekhyun´s hands settled on his thighs and started moving in gentle circles, “I don´t want to push this onto you.”

Baekhyun breathed in Taehyung´s scent, feeling the flesh beneath his palms become more and more alluring, “You´re not.”

Truth be told, maybe he was, Baekhyun wasn´t sure. There had been no time for him to contemplate – no time to sort out his feelings but strangely enough he didn´t mind so much. Taehyung had been his best friends for years now, if there was anyone left Baekhyun could trust, it was him. On top of that, they were in the middle of an Apocalypse. No one could ever predict the way things would be. They might be dead in a week, as much as Baekhyun didn´t like the thought, it wasn´t unrealistic. He might not feel the same way his best friend did, but Baekhyun could say very clearly that he loved him one way or another. There was no need, to make this complicated, right?

“But, what if-“

Baekhyun´s thumb was pressing on Taehyung´s lips, before he could finish, “You talk too much, Taehyungie.”

His best friend didn´t fight it, when Baekhyun pulled him down into a deep kiss. He clawed at Baekhyun, as if he was the last thing he could hold onto and Baekhyun pressed him even closer to assure him. He didn´t think. He only let his body decide and react to Taehyung´s lovely kissing and nipping and never allowed himself to feel the doubt that wouldn´t stop screaming in the back of his head.

\--*--

Against his expectations, he woke up before Sehun. Anthony seemed to have taken a liking to the other´s new scent and snored close to his sleeping frame. His presence seemed to calm Sehun, his features wearing nothing but peace and relief. Baekhyun pretended he didn´t mind and got up, before he could accidentally wake them both up. The door clicked shut and Baekhyun made his way to the circle of chairs. Minseok was still there, his neck craned in a position that couldn´t be comfortable. Baekhyun thought about waking him up, to lie down on his and Chanyeol´s mattress instead, but he doubted the older would go back to sleep, once he opened an eye. Better to just let him sleep.

With that in mind, Baekhyun shuffled around the room, unsure of what to do with himself. Kyungsoo´s door was still shut and Baekhyun could only assume that Chanyeol was still in there too. He felt somewhat lonely. The silence wasn´t a very good company to keep. Not for him, at least.

To be honest, he had felt a lot lonelier than usually these days. He couldn´t quite put his finger on the reason, though. Maybe, because Chanyeol hadn´t properly held him in, what felt like an eternity? Of course, that was his fault to some extend but it hurt regardless. Would Chanyeol still be mad at him? Anthony hadn´t been close to him either, though Baekhyun could see how he was the reason for that as well. Somehow, he felt so excluded. He just wanted a tight hug. He wanted Chanyeol to forgive him. He needed him to forgive him.

What he really needed was fresh air.

At first, Baekhyun wanted to actually go outside of the silo but he soon got to terms with the fact that stumbling into a zombie apocalypse on your own was a dumb idea. So, he opted to at least open one of the windows. As he was in the middle of the motion, he spotted another door that had passed his attention before. It was slightly ajar and seemed to lead up a set of stairs. Baekhyun´s curiosity pulled him up the steps, noticing the creaking beneath his feet. It made him feel uneasy, but he pushed on nonetheless and when a breeze began to graze his face, Baekhyun felt relief seep into his bones.

He stepped through another door and looked around. The sky was greeting him and he was surrounded by the horizon. Baekhyun hadn´t known the silo had a proper rooftop. It wasn´t very pretty, with rust eating at almost every centimetre of metal and weed breaking through small cracks in the ground. There wasn´t even a railing to keep one from falling down, only a knee-high stone wall that already wore a few holes in between. Still, the smell of fresh air and the warmth of the morning sun on his face were too good to pass up.

Stepping into the open, Baekhyun almost shrieked in surprise; he wasn´t alone. There, on the stonewall, with his feet dangling, sat Chanyeol. It seemed like he hadn´t noticed Baekhyun yet and he took it as an opportunity to watch the taller a little. Chanyeol´s shoulders were sagged. As if an invisible weight tried to pull them past his torso. Nonetheless, he seemed content and Baekhyun wondered how he could be so relaxed, with the abyss right beneath his feet. His head lay in his neck and he was watching the sky intently. When Baekhyun followed his gaze, all he found was a lilac-ish kind of blue ceaselessness.

“Hey.” When he looked back, he found Chanyeol smiling at him.

The warmth he radiated was unexpected but Baekhyun still held onto it, “Morning.”

He stepped closer, heart jumping as Chanyeol stretched his arm out towards him in return. When he was close enough, he pulled at Baekhyun´s sleeve with a gentle force. Baekhyun found himself confused. Was Chanyeol not angry anymore? Had he forgotten? Or did he genuinely forgive Baekhyun for his mess-up? Maybe, he didn´t care in the first place. But that wouldn´t really explain, why he had been so furious as soon as Baekhyun had returned. He found that he didn´t really want to think about it too much and leaned into Chanyeol´s frame. Though he had to be careful not to throw the tall man off the roof.

“Slept well?” Chanyeol asked.

Smalltalk. He could do Smalltalk; “Well enough. You?”

“I didn´t, actually.” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows; “Kyungsoo was out like a light after ten minutes. I was really glad about that. Jongin seems to be getting better with the meds too, we had a little talk just an hour ago.” He fell silent for a while but Baekhyun felt that there was more behind the man´s words, so he waited patiently, “I just-… There was a lot on my mind.”

Baekhyun didn´t know how to answer – could merely pull Chanyeol´s head into his chest. He hoped that the other felt how much he wanted to be there for him. To share his pain and help grounding him. Chanyeol didn´t fight the touch and after a few breaths, Baekhyun felt a hand on his back. It filled him with relief, so strong that he had to close his eyes and take a deep breath. He knew he could never forgive himself, if Chanyeol started to hate him. His heart felt so cold without his giant. Ice-cold, making it hard to tell whether it was still beating at all.

“Baekhyun”, Chanyeol said, “I haven´t been fair to you.”

What?! “Chanyeol, what are you saying?”

He couldn´t believe the words coming from his counterpart, “I was so worried and so frustrated, when you disappeared that I pushed you away, even though I know you never wanted to hurt me.”

No, this was all inverted! “Oh my god what are you talking about?” Chanyeol seemed shocked at Baekhyun´s sudden volume, “I just left without telling you anything. I´m the idiot here, not you! I should have- Ugh, I can´t believe I just pulled such a dumb move on you. I didn´t think it through at all. I thought that it was the best, since I didn´t want you to try and come with us. Imagine if you got hurt! I could never- I could never forgive myself.” All the confessions he had supressed came tumbling out of him and the weight of his words made it feel like he was throwing up rocks, “You- You mean so much to me Chan, I´m sorry I messed this up. I never wanted to.”

He was panting, the strain in his chest suffocating him and making it so, so hard to breathe. Chanyeol just watched him. His eyes were wide with the sudden turn of their conversation but his touch on Baekhyun´s body was still light. He got up. His movements were slow and deliberate and Baekhyun almost felt like a deer being approached. There was a small smile on his lips that Baekhyun thought he recognized. It seemed so similar to that special expression Chanyeol had sent Kyungsoo´s way just the day before. He could have been wrong. But, he liked to think he wasn´t.

“You´re all red.” Chanyeol mumbled and his hands cradled Baekhyun´s hot face.

The embarrassment flooded Baekhyun and he felt the blush even reach his ears, “Really.”

Chanyeol giggled at his pouty tone and it was the most beautiful thing Baekhyun had heard all day. He felt giddy. As if Chanyeol was a drug that made him feel nothing but euphoria and dazed bliss. Even, when Chanyeol wasn´t there, Baekhyun couldn´t stop thinking about him and craved his presence. He was completely and utterly addicted. And he didn´t give a single damn about it.

“Please don´t apologize, I don´t deserve that.” Baekhyun whispered, unable to look Chanyeol in the eye, “But I´d appreciate it if you accepted my apology instead.”

A soft sigh sounded in between them and caused Baekhyun to search Chanyeol´s eyes again, “You´re too hard on yourself, Baek.”

He seemed almost sorry, as if Baekhyun´s words made him feel genuine sympathy. It made Baekhyun think. Think, that maybe he really was too hard on himself sometimes. He was a human being, after all. And what ever made more mistakes than humanity? Maybe, it wasn´t Chanyeol, who had to forgive him, but much rather Baekhyun himself.

He started by allowing himself to pull Chanyeol into a soft kiss. There was a pleased grin dancing on Chanyeol´s lips and Baekhyun was eager to kiss it onto his own. His waist got pulled in and their chests pressed together in a perfect puzzle. There it was: That utter warmth and feeling of home. Baekhyun hadn´t even realized how much he really had missed this. He hugged Chanyeol closer and smiled to himself. This was all he needed, all he wanted.

Suddenly: A thought.

Would Chanyeol have gotten along well with Taehyung?

The sting came expected but it was still stronger than Baekhyun could handle. His breath hitched and then, his legs gave out. Chanyeol was barely able to catch him. Together, they slumped to the ground and Baekhyun buried his face into Chanyeol´s chest. Why? Why did he have to think about him now? This was the worst. There was pain everywhere and he felt like he didn´t have any oxygen left. As if his head had been tucked beneath a dusty blanket for too long.

Chanyeol held his shaking frame as tight as he could: “Baekhyun- Baekhyun, oh my god, what´s wrong?”

He couldn´t speak. He didn´t know how to put all the things he felt into the open, it was simply impossible. There was no word that could explain how much he missed Taehyung and there was no word to describe the guilt he still carried around. How he had let his best friend down. How he had let him die. He was scared. And he felt selfish for being so. Chanyeol was a light in his life, someone who made his heart beat like running horses and he wanted nothing more but to be with him. But, did he even deserve such a privilege? After everything he had done?

The answer was ‘no’ and the perception like a sword to his heart.

A sword that drew the most pitiful whimper out of his mouth, before he started to let his tears seep into the fabric of Chanyeol´s hoodie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We´ve reached the halfway-mile of the story dear traveller! I hope you´re still excited for what´s to come <3 I´ll try to update soon again! 
> 
> Until then, much love from your author and I hope you´ll have a fantastic time meanwhile! 
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated, if you have the time, please let me know what you think of the story! <3<3 
> 
> Hugs and love! <3


	8. Wreckage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweet reader! 
> 
> I´m afraid the angst will kick in this chapter, so I´m writing a WARNING for heavy angst <3 Sorry about that TT 
> 
> I hope you´re still willing to continue this journey with me, so here we go…

Anthony´s breath tickled his wrists, as Baekhyun ran his fingers through the familiar fur. The dog´s warmth was grounding in his lap. He had his friends body draped almost across all of his chest and usually the heaviness might have bothered him a little. Now though, he knew he needed the steadying feeling it gave him. Just like the calming licks, Anthony placed on his naked arms and hands and the worried gaze he threw at Baekhyun, whenever he sighed.

It had taken a total of two hours and a lot of cold wind for Chanyeol to finally convince him into moving downstairs. Baekhyun´s mind was still hazy and half of the time he had broken down, he couldn´t even recall anymore. In the end, it had resulted in Chanyeol lifting him up and carrying him downstairs, to sit in one of the chairs. Thankfully, Anthony was already awake and right by his side. Now, he had sat in the chair for close to an hour and his friend was still there. Maybe, he shouldn´t have doubted Anthony like he had. Just like Chanyeol.

The man had kept asking questions. Was he all right? Did he need something? Why was he crying? Was there something he could do? Eventually though, he understood that Baekhyun´s mind had shut down and he wouldn´t get any answer soon. Instead of getting pissed off or frustrated though, Chanyeol had held him close; giving him the same feeling that Anthony gave him right now. On top of that: Baekhyun knew that he had called out Taehyung´s name more than he could count, yet the taller had not bugged him about it. He had remained silent, listened to Baekhyun´s cries and been his anchor. Never a word about Taehyung. He could have taken it like Chanyeol didn´t care, but he wasn´t that dumb. In fact: he had never been so thankful.

Because, he certainly wasn´t ready to talk about Taehyung just yet and he liked to think that Chanyeol understood that. He would talk about him in time. Just not yet.

“Who´s a good boy?” he cooed at Anthony and the dog wiggled his tail happily, “Yes, you are a good boy. You´re the best boy, aren´t you? Yeeeees.”

“Am I supposed to be jealous now?” Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol with a smile.

“That´s up to you.”

The taller laughed and shook his head. He had sat in the chair next to Baekhyun for the whole time, watching over him and occasionally asking him if he wanted to drink something. Baekhyun looked at him with a fidgety heart: His legs were obviously too long for the chair and they stood out a little awkward. The faded pink hair was messy from the wind on the roof top and it looked so fluffy, Baekhyun wanted to run his fingers through it. His face was tired and still… Chanyeol was so handsome. Baekhyun met his eyes then. He seemed relieved that Baekhyun was better and he felt a bit guilty for scaring Chanyeol like this. Maybe, he should apologize again?

“Chan, I´m s-“

Before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by Kyungsoo´s door, opening. His eyes widened, as he recognized the person stepping through the doorway with a hint of a hobble. Jongin moved to sit down in front of Baekhyun. Right behind him, Minseok followed with a confident smile and even Kyungsoo had fought his way out of bed. He still looked tired but Baekhyun also saw the smile in his eyes. Instead of sitting down, Minseok went for Chanyeol´s and Baekhyun´s room and a few moments later, he returned with Sehun in tow. The boy was still half asleep. His eyelids seemed heavier than stones and his hair stood out in all kinds of directions. It made Baekhyun chuckle under his breath.

Suddenly, there was a hand in his face, “I haven´t gotten around to introducing myself yet. Jongin.”

“Baekhyun.” they shook hands and Jongin let himself fall back into his chair.

“Is there a reason someone needed to rob my beauty-sleep?” Sehun mumbled, almost back to unconsciousness in his chair.

“Yes.” Minseok said and the excitement in his voice made Baekhyun sit up straighter, “The three of us have talked a little and we´ve come to a decision that we´d like to propose.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol turned to look at each other. Baekhyun raised a brow. ‘you know what this is about?’ Chanyeol only shrugged.

But, obviously Minseok didn´t need an invitation: “Sehun, you have told us about a lot of things yesterday. Among other things, you mentioned that your past-crew wanted to get you into a safety-zone to develop a cure?”

“Uh…yeah?” Sehun visibly woke up now.

Instead of Minseok, it was Kyungsoo, who answered: “We´ve decided that we´d like to convoy you there instead.”

The room fell silent. Sehun´s eyebrows were over the roof and he seemed almost as shocked as Baekhyun felt, “Y-you want to-… what?”

Jongin smiled gently and Baekhyun could already tell that he could make friends with him, “Look, Sehun: All of us are tough, hm? So there´s no reason for you to be scared of the outside.”

“Believe me, if anyone in this room doesn´t fear the infected at all, it´s me.” Sehun scoffed, “For all I care, I could go on my own.”

Baekhyun frowned, “Then why haven´t you?”

“Huh?”

“You´ve been hiding in a hospital forever.” he said, “Why? You could have just walked there on your own ages ago.”

Sehun´s face went red and then it disappeared in his hands, “Because…” he huffed, “Because I don´t know where it is!”

They fell silent again. Baekhyun eyed the boy, who was still crouched into himself with the thoughts tumbling over each other in his head. He had expected Sehun to know the location. Not only that, but also that he´d be able to lead them there without any problem whatsoever. To hear this confession made the whole thing a lot more complicated and Baekhyun could already sense the growing panic in the room.

This wasn´t good, they had to come up with something. Because, he agreed; They had to get Sehun to the safety-zone, even if it was the last thing they did. Humanity´s fate was resting in this boy´s palms and if he didn´t reach the safety of a lab soon, that fate would be very short-lived. None of them could create the antivirus themselves – They weren´t scientists. Speaking of scientists…

“What about this Jongdae-guy you mentioned?” Baekhyun asked.

Sehun shrugged and the misery radiated off his frame, “I have no idea. He could be dead or chilling in a villa on the Philippines for all I know.”

“Well, where did you last see him?” It was obvious that Kyungsoo was trying very hard to hold onto his patience.

“The city where you found me. We were planning to go further north, but I don´t know where exactly.”

Further North. Baekhyun´s head shot up. Could it be? No, but that would just be dumb luck, right? There was no way in hell that it was, after all these years, the same safety-zone. On the other hand, if it was a serious safety-zone, why not?

“Call me crazy, but”, everyone´s eyes caught his frame, “I might actually know where the safety-zone is.”

Minseok´s eyebrow shot up in scepticism, “Do you now?”

“Yes, we were-“ the words got stuck in his throat, memories cutting off even the tiniest breath, “I was… originally on the way there. Before I got stuck where I met Chanyeol, that safety-zone was my destination.” Then, after short hesitation, he added: “If it is, in fact, the same safety-zone we´re talking about.”

“Anything will work at this point.” Sehun said, “As long as we can get in contact with some kind of human network, we might be able to find Jongdae and the rest of our escort-group.”

The nodded in silence for a while, until Jongin got up with a pained groan, “Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Excuse me, where is there a plan?” Kyungsoo seemed almost pissed, hadn´t it been Jongin, Baekhyun felt sure that the shorter would have ripped his counterpart´s head off, “You realize how stupid this sounds, don´t you? I´m sorry Baekhyun, but just because you MIGHT know of SOME safety-zone, in the general direction of north, I´m not willing to put all of our lives on the line.”

Baekhyun watched with hopeful eyes, as Jongin squatted down in front of Kyungsoo, “Soo… I know you´re worried, believe me, so am I.” he sighed, “But this might be the only chance we get and we don´t know what will happen, if we don´t take it.”

“Well, I know what happens if we do!”

Another sigh sounded and then Jongin leaned in closer. All eyes were on the two men but Baekhyun felt like he was intruding something. Something too personal. Something he only knew from himself and Chanyeol. But despite Jongin´s voice dropping to a small whisper, every word echoed in the tense silence and there was no way of missing it.

“Soo, you need to trust me.” he said, “Do you trust me?”

Kyungsoo´s gaze was fixed on the other and Baekhyun could only guess what was going on in his mind, “You know I do, just-“

“I promise you that nothing is going to happen to you.”

For a moment, it looked like Kyungsoo wanted to reach out but with the heaviness of everyone´s presence, he stopped short, “You know that´s not what I´m worried about.”

“I do.” Even as Jongin had his back turned on him, Baekhyun could hear the smile in his voice, “Please, Soo.”

What could have hardly been more than a few seconds, felt like years, as everyone stared at Kyungsoo. Baekhyun knew, if he didn´t agree they wouldn´t go. He hadn´t known Kyungsoo for long, but it wasn´t hard to tell, that the man was the group´s guardian angel. Baekhyun didn´t even dare to guess how many lives he had saved.

“Fine.” A collective sigh went through the circle, “We´ll go at sunrise tomorrow, there´s still a lot to prepare and you need to rest some more.” he jabbed his finger at Jongin.

With a warm smile the latter agreed, “Yes Sir.”

They split up: Minseok immediately grabbed a hold of Sehun´s arm, mentioning something about ‘combat practice’ and in a few seconds, they were out the door. To Baekhyun´s slight displeasure, Anthony was eager to follow them. Jongin was already on his way back to his room. Kyungsoo gave Chanyeol and him a look. Baekhyun could almost feel the heaviness on his gaze on their intertwined hands and for a second he thought about pulling away. Then, he remembered the fond look in Kyungsoo´s eyes whenever he looked at Jongin and he knew he didn´t have to. Baekhyun tightened his grip on Chanyeol´s hand and watched as Kyungsoo smiled softly.

Then he averted his gaze to look at the both of them, “You might want to start packing rations. There´s still a lot stored in the basement and Minseok hoarded a few bigger backpacks just in case. Don´t forget to take enough water with you.”

Baekhyun felt himself nod, before Kyungsoo already went after Jongin. He looked back at Chanyeol; meeting the man´s eyes with slight curiosity. Chanyeol gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand a last time, before letting go.

They went downstairs in silence. Chanyeol´s shoulders were relaxed but Baekhyun could tell that something was on his mind. Most likely, it was connected to Baekhyun´s earlier outburst. He still felt ashamed about it. How disturbing must it have been to Chanyeol – kissing him and suddenly having Baekhyun fall into a fit of hysteria. Baekhyun himself didn´t even know what had gotten into him. Suddenly, everything had been so much. He was back there, on the bridge again, with the roar of the car, the loud bang and the even more deafening silence that followed. Even his voice was still in Baekhyun´s ears, screaming, telling him to jump – to let go. Whatever had triggered the memory, Baekhyun kept feeling it press against his skull, even now.

Before he realized they had reached the basement, Chanyeol already handed him a backpack. He still smiled and it awoke the desire to hold him in Baekhyun´s limbs. Instead, he silently thanked the taller and started to look around the different cans and boxes of food. They worked without conversation, Baekhyun listening to Chanyeol hum a song he didn´t know.

When Baekhyun had finally filled his backpack to the brim, even attaching some things to the sides, he allowed himself to sit down on one of the working tables, “I like it when you do that.”

“Huh?”

It seemed like Baekhyun had ripped Chanyeol out of deep thoughts, “The humming.” he explained, “I have no idea what you´re singing but it feels… It feels nice. I like listening. Are you into music?”

“I was.” Somehow the statement stung, “I used to play guitar a lot and sometimes, I´d sing with Kyungsoo. He has a nice voice.”

“Sounds cool.”

He didn´t know how to continue the conversation – didn´t want it to become awkward. He started to tie the knots on his backpack a bit tighter. Yet, he could still feel Chanyeol´s eyes on him. As if the man actually wanted to say something, but it seemed they wouldn´t come out.

Until they did:

“Baekhyun?” The man hummed in confirmation, eyes not leaving his task at hand, “Who´s Taehyung?”

Baekhyun stopped dead in his tracks; frozen for the few moments it took him, to process the question. When he did, he couldn´t help the slight nausea that bubbled in his guts. He understood why Chanyeol decided to ask now. Yet, he would have preferred to get a little more time. Until this dark nightmare, which he had pushed out of reality, had to tumble out of his mouth and into this world. He wasn´t ready and he knew Chanyeol would understand. But the shame he felt, was screaming a lot louder.

With shaking hands, Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol by the belt loops, “No one.” he whispered.

“It´s just-” he was stuttering, perhaps flustered by the position between Baekhyun´s legs and their chests so close, “You´ve mentioned him so often, even now, when-… I´m just worried, you know? You keep crying in your sleep and every time you say that name. Do you dream of him? Is he the reason you broke down?”

He didn´t want to hear this. Never before had Baekhyun wished he was deaf, just for the sake of not having to listen to the uncertainty and worry in Chanyeol´s voice. There were a billion things he could have said about Taehyung and none he wanted to speak out loud. Because, Baekhyun shouldn´t be allowed to move on. He knew that Chanyeol would convince him to do so; that it wasn´t his fault, yada, yada. But, he hadn´t been there. He didn´t know what Baekhyun knew and Baekhyun wasn´t sure he could ever gather the courage to actually tell him about it. To actually live through the memory again, in the real world and not just in his dreams.

“He´s no one Chanyeol”, Baekhyun said again and leaned in, to nip at the taller´s neck, “Stop worrying.”

Chanyeol´s head leaned to the side almost subconsciously, “Baekhyun, we should talk about this. Wh-What are you trying to do…?”

“I´m distracting you.” he grinned and linked his feet behind Chanyeol´s back, to pull him even closer.

“Y-you shouldn´t-“ Chanyeol´s walls were crumbling, succumbing to Baekhyun´s hands on his waist, rubbing and pressing.

“Why?” Baekhyun whispered and sucked harshly on a spot beneath Chanyeol´s jaw, to earn himself a pleased sound, “Is it working?”

A short chuckle sounded and a second later, Baekhyun felt teeth nibbling at his earlobe, “You should know.”

Relishing in the added feeling, Baekhyun brushed his hands up and down Chanyeol´s back, until they even made their way beneath his shirt. His breath hitched at the rippling muscle under his palm. He wondered what it would be like to hold on to such a strong back. His lips danced across Chanyeol´s shoulder and he tasted salt. Chanyeol´s lips were travelling lower, leaving marks on his collarbones now and sending stars to Baekhyun´s vision.

His heart was bursting with excitement and affection, feeling Chanyeol´s own cool hands now slide beneath his T-shirt. So much proximity. More, than he would have ever anticipated witnessing again. It felt so surreal, almost like a lively daydream and even for the glimpse of a moment, he wasn´t sure whether Chanyeol wasn´t just a product of his imagination. This feeling in his chest, – fluttering – pulling towards the other. This raging heat in every inch of his body, needing to be satisfied – to be touched.

When he pulled Chanyeol into a kiss again, he knew that he wasn´t an imagination. There was no way, Baekhyun´s mind could have produced something so otherworldly – so filled with passion, hope and dare he say… love. Never had he experienced such an amount of care and worshipping towards him. Byun Baekhyun, the small, giddy teen, who had never seen what was about to come and was unfortunate enough to make it through all of it. Now though, that his hands were in Chanyeol´s hair and their hips had started rolling together, he started to doubt. Perhaps, his survival wasn´t so unfortunate after all.

It was then, that he remembered: He had experienced such a feeling before and he felt ashamed that he forgot. So ashamed, his tears fell onto Chanyeol´s cheeks, as Baekhyun deepened the kiss. He shushed the taller, when he asked. He kissed him more eager, worked him up and gave him no time to question – gave himself no time to question.

His hand shook, as it closed around Chanyeol´s belt. He gave a soft tug, asking a question and something in the back of Chanyeol´s throat started to growl. Those big hands tightened around Baekhyun´s waist and his breath hitched with his own loss of control. They changed; going from deep kisses to a clashing of teeth and tongue and moving from innocent touching to insistent, possessive tugging.

He pulled at Chanyeol´s belt with more confidence now, “I want you.” he whispered and the shiver moving through Chanyeol´s body filled him with pride.

“How much?” he gasped, nosing along Baekhyun´s shoulder, until he found a spot to bite down.

The question raised the hair on Baekhyun´s arms and neck. He didn´t answer, only pulled Chanyeol down for another kiss, as the taller made work of his shirt. Soon, Baekhyun´s hands stroked a firm chest and the smooth expand of skin. He detached their lips again, instead kissing around Chanyeol´s collarbones, sucking marks everywhere he could. This wasn´t a dream, he had to remind himself over and over again. This was real. This was real. This was real.

You won´t forget me.

Baekhyun´s heart sped up and he clawed at Chanyeol´s back. That voice. He tried to concentrate on the feeling of Chanyeol´s teeth against his skin. They were like fire, warming him and he wanted to relish in the way Chanyeol´s thumbs rubbed circles into his naked hips. This was real.

You can´t lock me out, Baekhyun.

“Go away.” Baekhyun whispered to the voice.

It was so familiar and so painful to listen to. Chanyeol was too distracted with Baekhyun´s chest, wrapping hungry lips around a nipple, to suck. Baekhyun moaned softly, his hands settling in Chanyeol´s hair. He wanted more, needed Chanyeol on every inch of his body. Baekhyun wanted him imprinted on his skin. Morphing them together.

I know how ashamed you feel.

Baekhyun´s nails tightened around Chanyeol´s skin and elicited a groan from the taller. He kissed up his neck, sucking at a lobe in his path. Chanyeol´s hands were diving lower, sliding beneath the fabric of Baekhyun´s jeans, to cup his ass. Following the insistent tug, Baekhyun pressed their chests together further and slid a hand down, to rub Chanyeol through his own pants. The man groaned, thrusting his hips into Baekhyun´s touch.

I know it´s eating at you Baek. You promised.

“Shut up.” he whispered again, trying everything he could to let his mind drown in only Chanyeol.

The taller panted, looking at him with confusion, “Wha-?”

You promised.

“SHUT UP TAEHYUNG!”

Baekhyun´s head was hammering, as if someone kept hitting it with a wooden board. He felt like his skin was too tight. There was shame eating at every inch of his mind and suddenly, every touch was too much. All he could do was to push a very confused Chanyeol out of his reach and get up from the table. He had to get away. He had to get away from Taehyung, from Chanyeol, from Kyungsoo and Minseok and Sehun and Jongin. Even from Anthony. He couldn´t stay and see their faces fill with disappointment. He couldn´t stay and hear Taehyung´s voice again, reminding him of his broken promises and his false lies.

His heart was banging against his ribcage, as he whispered a hushed apology in Chanyeol´s general direction. Without thinking, he rushed towards the fastest way out, he could find. The same way Chanyeol and him had entered the silo the first time. Breaking through the door, Baekhyun started to run. Running faster and faster, as far as his tired legs could carry him. Why couldn´t they bring him to the end of the world? There, he could finally crumble into the pitiful pile of worthless dirt he knew he was.

Trees rushed by, other silos crossed his blurred vision. But, he didn´t stop. There was no stopping, if there was no aim. He had no idea where he was going; he just wanted to be far away. He wanted to be gone. Maybe then, Chanyeol wouldn´t have so much to worry about anymore. He could be with Taehyung again, like he had promised. And in the end, he wouldn´t have to be such a disappointment anymore.

The cold air had started to infiltrate his breath, biting at his lungs, like spikes of ice and causing him to slowly suffocate. His vision was still blurry but there were no tears in his eyes anymore. Strange… His steps slowed without his permission and he slipped on a patch of mud. The impact against his back knocked the feeling out of his limbs. The sky, filling his vision, had grown grey and unforgiving. Ready, to suffocate him. The branches that pocked his sight went from blurry blotches, to clear veins and back. His breathing came in irregular, erratic patterns – panicked – and as he tried to lift his hand, he couldn´t even muster the strength to move a single fingertip.

He could barely distinguish one thought from another; pictures were moving at light-speed and faces started to morph into one, creating bizarre ghosts. Dead faces were overlapping agile ones – Alive with a dead core. What he saw reminded him: He was outside, without a weapon or a way to defend himself and the infected could be around every corner. Steps – Feet coming closer, carrying a tall body… A shadow coming into his vision. He didn´t want to die. Badum. No, no please. Badum. He wasn´t ready to go… Badum. He-…

Baekhyun´s heartbeat slowed down, slower… and slower… and slower…

\--*--

Wind bit at his cheeks and the sound of his blood rushing was deafening in Baekhyun´s ears. His grip on the car was tight enough to hurt, sweat making his hands slippery. Next to him, Taehyung´s bloody face was looking over their shoulder every now and then. Hurried. Scared. Anthony still sat in his lap, head whipping around in fear. They were driving, Baekhyun understood and a cold shiver ran down his nape as his mind started to recognize the one scene in his life he always wanted to forget.

“No.” He whispered.

Taehyung seemed oblivious, his focus still on the horde of infected, right on their heels. He was cursing, deep voice cracking with the control that slipped from his fingers. There had barely ever been a time, when he had seen Taehyung as out of it as then.

The city rushed past them. The car stumbled and Baekhyun bit on his tongue with the impact, tasting blood. As he turned his head, to look through the rear window, his eyes widened at the sight of almost a hundred infected. Last time he checked, there had barely been twenty.

“Go faster!” It was his voice, but Baekhyun couldn´t recall ever opening his mouth.

“I´m trying for god´s sake!” Taehyung responded, his grip on the steering wheel tightening, until his knuckles turned a pure white.

Baekhyun´s hands shot up to cover his mouth, as he realized what would follow. But there was no changing the path of fate: “Take the road to the bridge. If we can get out of the city, we might be able to loose them.”

He had suggested it. It had been his idea from the beginning. Now, he´d have to pay the price. Baekhyun wanted to jump out of the car, warn Taehyung, pull the steering wheel over into the other direction but not a single part of his body would respond to his command. As if his soul was watching the happenings from high above. He was a puppet on strings and he knew exactly why. The past had been written and there was nothing one could change about it anymore.

“Good idea.” Taehyung said.

No. Bad idea. Bad idea.

He didn´t know whether it was the tumbling of the car or the empty hope in Taehyung´s eyes, but Baekhyun felt nausea rush through him, filling every empty spot it could find. If this weren´t a memory, he would have puked his guts out right on the spot.

They rounded corners and crossed streets but the infected were fast on their broken legs, able to run endlessly. With the city´s small streets and spaces, their tempo was limited. There was no way they could reach a pace, to loose the infected, without crashing into a wall on the way. Taehyung was a good driver, pushing his foot down on the gas whenever the chance came. Still, there was no way he could loose their followers in this labyrinth. There were too many small alleys, too many barred passages and even when they gained a bit of momentum, it was only a question of time, until they had to slow down again.

The bridge came into view and Taehyung sped up. Baekhyun´s head started to pound with the sight. With every metre they covered, every second that passed and every bit of distance they closed between their car and the bridge, time slowed down. He spotted the explosives before Taehyung did. Back then, when this moment had been in the real world, Baekhyun hadn´t seen them. Only after reliving the memory in his dreams over and over again, did he start to see the thin tripwire near the middle of the bridge. It was almost invisible. Just the way it was supposed to be.

“Stop the car Taehyung, please.” Baekhyun pleaded, despite knowing that all help was too late.

Taehyung´s face didn´t even move in a reaction, he was still focused on the road, “Baekhyun, we need to get out! They´re too many, we won´t be able to loose them like this.”

“Get out?” Baekhyun flinched at his own voice, “What the hell are you saying?”

“We´ll jump. You first, then me!” Taehyung said, “They´ll follow the car and we can look for a different one.”

He wanted to reach out, pull at Taehyung´s sleeves and plead- BEG to be the second to jump. Taehyung should jump first. He´d survive and Baekhyun would get the punishment he deserved.

“Please, Taehyung. You have to jump first.” He cried.

But Taehyung was still blank, his eyes unforgiving and his mind written in stone. Within a second, his hand was in Baekhyun´s giving him a painful glimpse of what used to be. He couldn´t let go. He didn´t want to. But he did anyway, as soon as Taehyung had to put his fingers back on the steering wheel. He slowed the pace of the car and Baekhyun started to recognize shapes in the blur that used to pass them. His heart had stopped, he was sure. His mind had gone blank with nothing. Nothing but the knowledge of what was about to come.

“Please Taehyung.” He tried again, meeting the other´s eyes.

For a hopeful moment, he thought the other had heard him, but his hopes were crushed, when Taehyung said: “I´ll give you the signal, get ready.”

“No.” Baekhyun whined but his body complied anyway.

The seconds passed by in an agonizing eternity. Baekhyun´s panic was suffocating him, his chest so tight, he could barely stay conscious. Not a sound left his lips, even as his mind kept on screaming. His hand pressed down on the car door handle, pushing it open. Revealing a path that he never had wanted to choose.

“Okay, shortly.” Taehyung said, his brows furrowed in concentration.

No, please. He couldn´t. They could still turn around, they could still jump together, or they could still stop the car. They could still die together. Baekhyun started to scream at Taehyung, his throat getting soar and tasting of smoke. Smoke that he knew he´d inhale soon. He cursed and reached out to tug at Taehyung, but the man was frozen and there was no way of moving him, like a projection. Because, that was all it was: a Projection. A movie about Baekhyun´s worst mistake; made to be watched, over and over again until he would loose his mind.

“Baekhyun”, he directed his eyes at Taehyung with a last silent plead, his tears burning with the words he knew would sound; “Don´t forget. I love you.”

“Please.” he whispered.

“Now!”

Taehyung´s voice sounded through the car and Baekhyun´s body set into motion. His arms were wrapped tightly around Anthony´s frame. He couldn´t stop it, could only submit to his memory´s will and stand up from his seat. The impact of colliding with the asphalt was numb, barely a part of his memory and he rolled beneath a car nearby to hide from the infected that followed. His hand held Anthony tight, even as the dog wanted to escape and run after his second owner. The infected ran past them. Their hands were still stretched out towards the car that Baekhyun had sat in just a mere second ago and that was now speeding further down the bridge. Taehyung´s head was still poking through the rear window. His familiar hair was wilding in the wind. Baekhyun crawled out from beneath the car, as soon as the infected had passed him. He remembered waiting and thinking that Taehyung would jump out any second now. It was just a question of time. He would hide and they could run together.

The blow was loud enough to sound like silence.

The world stopped turning. Baekhyun´s legs gave in and he dropped to his knees. The control over his body had returned, now, after it was too late. He watched the fire lick at the sky and eat away at the infected that had been so close to the explosives. Their car was a mere shadow in the red. The ground beneath Baekhyun´s feet turned liquid, sucking at his feet and the clouds were falling down on his head.

He knew he was screaming but there was nothing to be heard. The tears had dried out, pain numbing out every feeling there could have been. Until there was just nothingness left. No black, no white, no colour. No sound, no silence. No sadness.

Nothing.

He had never even said ‘I love you, too’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m literally so sorry TT 
> 
> As a comfort for the tearing ending, I´ll update the next chapter right away, hope you can forgive me, especially you, Dina <3<3


	9. Remedial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little softer, for those of you who are still hurting TT 
> 
> I hope you´re not too exhausted and can still go on with our journey dear reader, you´re doing great <3

His chest hurt and his hands felt like they had fallen asleep a long time ago. Everything was blurry and his sight took an eternity to clear up. The blankets on top of him were too heavy, too warm and he could barely shift them off his chin. Even as he tried his hardest, Baekhyun couldn´t lift a single limb. As the consciousness returned to his brain, he started to take in his surroundings. All he was met with was a blank ceiling, an old, rusty wood stove and a second mattress, next to the one beneath him. He knew that he still had to be in the silo, with the mouldy patches in the wallpaper, yet he couldn´t recall the insides of this room whatsoever. He had never been in here.

A shuffling sounded to his left. Usually, his heart would have leaped in shock but right now, he was even too tired to be surprised. The exhaustion of turning his head almost made him black out again. Kyungsoo´s auburn mob of hair moved into his vision. He was concentrated on a task, Baekhyun couldn´t see from his angle. After a while, the other man turned to him, ready to place a wet cloth on his forehead, before he noted Baekhyun´s opened eyes.

He didn´t say anything, simply carried on with putting the cloth on Baekhyun. Even with the heat of the blankets, he shivered at the contact. Still, the feeling was calming and he felt relieved.

It was then, that Kyungsoo sat back and leaned against the wall, mustering Baekhyun intently, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got run over by a car.” Baekhyun admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You gave us all quite a scare.” Kyungsoo continued, playing with a thread in his shoes, “Everyone is worried. It looks like we´ll have to postpone our leave for now.”

The guilt felt like tar in Baekhyun´s throat, “What happened?”

Kyungsoo gave him a look, as if he couldn´t quite believe that Baekhyun didn´t remember, “Well… Chanyeol said you had some kind of panic attack. You ran out, for like- a whole hour? Then you collapsed and Chanyeol found you.”

Baekhyun didn´t know what to say. He averted his eyes in shame and let the memories wash over him again. Had he really been out for that long? And the shadow he had seen, it had been Chanyeol? That would mean the giant had followed him all the way out there. He could have gotten hurt and Baekhyun felt even more remorse eat at him. Yet, a strange kind of relief started to outweigh the feeling – Relief that Chanyeol had decided to go after him. Maybe, he should have felt even worse at that but he couldn´t help the joy that kept him warm.

“Baekhyun?” he turned his head back, to find Kyungsoo still looking at him, “Chanyeol was scared out of his mind.”

Baekhyun tried to gulp down the thick lump in his throat, “Where is he?”

“Sleeping.” Kyungsoo said, taking a deep breath, “Finally.”

“Finally?”

The man shook his head and his shoulder slouched, making him look exhausted and troubled, “He´s been by your bedside the whole night. Hasn´t closed one eye.”

Again, the same twisted feeling washed over Baekhyun. He had worried Chanyeol, to the point he hadn´t even been able to rest and yet, the man had never left his side. Despite knowing that Baekhyun would have done the same for him, he still felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude.

Kyungsoo heaved another heavy sigh and ripped Baekhyun from his thoughts, “Look, Baekhyun, I don´t know what it is you´re still carrying around with you.” Baekhyun flinched, “but if you want… this whole thing, with Chanyeol”, his gaze was softer than Baekhyun had ever seen it, “You have to let it go.”

Once more, Baekhyun was at a loss of words. Emotions were coursing through his system, like flies and their buzzing made his heart speed a little. He felt overwhelmed. Yet, he understood what Kyungsoo wanted from him. Being with Chanyeol was the one thing that Baekhyun knew would heal him, but the past wouldn´t allow his wounds to close. No – it wasn´t the past that stopped him. It was his own guilt, his own heart, exploding with regret.

For the first time, Baekhyun thought about Taehyung with a calm heartbeat. The boy had loved him dearly. He had been willing to give everything up for Baekhyun and even though Baekhyun had fed him lie after lie, Taehyung would have never wanted him to get stuck like this. Maybe, just for Taehyung, Baekhyun should try to let the darkness go and allow Chanyeol to wash all the sadness away with his dorky smile and his warm hands. Taehyung never would have wanted him to end up like this and he felt terrible for ever pretending so. Despite everything Taehyung had done for him, Baekhyun had used him as his own devil: breaking and bending him into a scheme that wasn´t Taehyung. That would have never been Taehyung.

He had ended up being the one thing that would always haunt Baekhyun. His own guilt and anger embodied by the one person that had loved him the most. The one person he had started to fear so much, every time he woke up in cold sweat. He never wanted this for Taehyung. He wasn´t supposed to be a nightmare. Taehyung had always been made for dreams that made you want to go back to sleep, when you woke up. What had Baekhyun done?

“I know what it means to carry the past on your shoulders, believe me.” Kyungsoo´s voice sounded again and this time, it barely grew beyond a whisper, “At the right times, it can be what keeps you alive. The one reason, to keep going. But, as soon as you let it rule over you. From the moment, it becomes a curse rather than a blessing, you have to let it go. Otherwise, it will be the very thing that gets you killed.”

From the very first time they had crossed paths, Baekhyun had understood that Kyungsoo wasn´t such a tough guy for nothing. It was easy to tell that the man had gone through hell, at least once. Baekhyun had never thought about asking, knowing that if he was in Kyungsoo´s shoes, he wouldn´t want to talk about it at all. Then again, Kyungsoo was different in so many ways and Baekhyun wondered if, maybe, what the man really needed was a shoulder to lean on, rather than a head lowered in respect. The realization showed just how much Baekhyun had been caught up in his own head.

His fingers itched to reach out and touch Kyungsoo, remind him that he wasn´t alone, but his flesh still seemed too heavy in his head, “What happened?”

“Same as you”, Kyungsoo breathed and Baekhyun´s brows rose in surprise, “I lost my other half.”

“How did you know-“

“What else would it be?” Kyungsoo interrupted him, “The world is going down, Baekhyun. After so much time, everyone is either dead or mourning.”

The words were heavy on Baekhyun´s chest. Like a stone, placed right on top of his ribs, preventing him from breathing as deep as he would have liked. He wanted to disagree with Kyungsoo. Tell him that there was still hope for peace and happiness, but the thought felt ridiculous. He believed it. After being enclosed by Chanyeol´s arms, Baekhyun was convinced that even now, at the darkest of times, light was still around. Then again, speaking those thoughts out loud after the past hours felt embarrassing and unauthentic. He remained silent.

“Luhan and Minseok had been together since- man I don´t even know. Since before time started.” Kyungsoo huffed out a sorry excuse for a laugh, “They were a way better couple than Chanyeol and me. Sometimes, I´d even get jealous of how good they worked together, it was like a Hollywood romance-movie.”

Baekhyun remembered the name well. Although Chanyeol had only mentioned Luhan once, Baekhyun had never doubted that the man was important. Now, it seemed, he would find out why.

“They´d always get each other flowers and pralines. The only thing they´d ever fight about was who would pay the bill on their dinner date. God Baekhyun, they were… they were so wonderful together.” Baekhyun shuffled and when his hand appeared beneath the blanket, Kyungsoo grabbed it after a bit of hesitation, “When the virus broke out and everything was thrown into chaos, the four of us agreed to team up and leave the city together. Chanyeol and Minseok had picked me up in their car and we wanted to pick Luhan up next, collect some food from his parents´ supermarket and leave as fast as we could. That was the plan.

“When we arrived, Chanyeol stayed in the car, ready to drive us off. Minseok was about to get Luhan but I told him I could handle it and he should get the food. He was so much stronger than me, I thought he could carry a lot more.” a disbelieving sound left Kyungsoo´s lips and he ran a hand over his face, “We split up. I went upstairs. Luhan was there, but…” a shaky breath, “he wasn´t Luhan anymore – at least not completely. He was in the middle of turning.”

“Oh god…” Baekhyun whispered.

He didn´t even want to imagine the feeling. Sure, Baekhyun had had his fair share of death, throughout the last years but never- never had he seen a loved one turn. It must have been even worse. Worse than watching them die.

“I panicked. H-he was out of control, ready to jump at my throat. There was a knife and-“ Kyungsoo´s head lifted to reveal a streak of tears running over his cheek, “I killed him, Baekhyun. I killed a son. I killed Chanyeol´s cousin. I killed Minseok´s soul mate. I killed my-“ he whimpered, “I killed my best friend.”

Baekhyun recognized the expression in Kyungsoo´s eyes, the scratch in his voice. It was something so very familiar to him; he could have recognized it anywhere. Not only did Kyungsoo carry the mourning, he also carried the guilt – the fault of murdering someone he loved. But Baekhyun couldn´t understand why Kyungsoo would still punish himself for the happenings. After all…

“You had no other choice.” He whispered.

“I should have let him kill me.” The idea made Baekhyun shiver, “At least, that was what I used to tell myself for a long time. It was the reason why I broke up with Chanyeol. I knew he would have understood but I didn´t think that he should have to fuck a monster.”

Baekhyun flinched at the words and when Kyungsoo noticed, his gaze softened. He mumbled a silent ‘sorry’ and squeezed Baekhyun´s hand in his own.

“Sometimes I still catch myself thinking that”, he carried on and the angry line between his brows started to disappear, “But those thoughts started to vanish, when…”

“Jongin?” Baekhyun smiled.

“Jongin.” Kyungsoo said, “By now, I know how important it is, to forgive myself. Not only for me but also the people that need me right now. They can´t have me stuck in the past.”

He let out a deep breath, cleared his throat and wiped his cheeks. As he let go of Baekhyun´s hand, Kyungsoo pushed himself up on his feet. He adjusted his clothes and looked down at Baekhyun. Something in his eyes had changed. It had become so familiar, as if he was looking at an old friend and it made Baekhyun´s chest fill with warmth.

“Trust me Baekhyun, whatever or whomever might haunt you, they wouldn´t want to be the reason you fall apart.” Kyungsoo said.

Baekhyun pulled his hand back under the blankets, “What should I do Kyungsoo?”

The man smiled, then he turned towards the door. Before he went through and left Baekhyun to his thoughts, he answered: “Learn to forgive yourself.”

\--*--

He recognized the smell before he even opened his eyes. That familiar tint of strawberry cake in the air hadn´t crossed his path in years. Baekhyun almost feared he would loose it, if he lifted his eyelids. Then, the black darkness turned into a bright white, making him flinch. His eyes had been open all along but now, they started to see. Blurry shapes emerged from the bare, white around him and colours started to mix into the world. Like a polaroid-picture: coming to life in the wind.

After a few breaths, the scent finally became a home. His home. There were the banana-cream coloured walls and white curtains. Even the torn spot at the bottom of their fabric was still telling a story of their very young and wild Anthony, trying to climb into the sky. He dared to step forward, gliding his palms along the kitchen counter. Cool marble, stained with years of his mother´s cooking. Turning away from the counter, his leg bumped into a sofa and Baekhyun followed the red fabric with his eyes. This had been his living room. The place, in which him and his family used come together and play monopoly over several days. The place, where Taehyung and him had spent hours, crafting crumbled paper planes. They used to race with them. Taehyung always let him win. Only, that he hadn´t noticed, until he had grown out of his Winnie-Pooh Pyjamas.

Baekhyun slid along the counter, his steps almost inaudible on their wooden floor. A sad smile passed over his lips, as he realized: It wasn´t real. Their floor had creaked the loudest in the whole neighbourhood. It all felt so real to his fingertips but it was artificial through and through. Just, like the clear, warm sun that filtered through squeaky-clean windows. His dad used to clean the windows only once a year. Baekhyun remembered how he´d always crumble, as soon as it rained afterwards. He felt his heart sink at the realization. Yet, he wasn´t as surprised as he could have been.

Well, if he was here now, he could at least try to enjoy it. His feet carried him, almost on auto-pilot and before he could question them, he stopped in front of his own room. The wood was littered with all kinds of stickers and signs. One stood out the most, saying ‘no trespassing’. A child´s hand had scrawled ‘except Taehyung’ down at the bottom. Yes, he could definitely remember him and Taehyung agreeing on that.

Pushing the door open, Baekhyun stepped inside. Only to stop short, with his eyes widened like plates.

Everything was in its´ place. His desk was still covered with all kinds of papers, magazines and photographs. The countless posters of K-idols were still in their spots on the walls. The TV was still dusty. The floor was still covered in clothes.

It was the bed that threw him off. Or rather, what was on top of it: There, covered in warm afternoon sunlight and holding a book in his hands, sat Taehyung. He was so immersed in the story that he didn´t even seem to notice Baekhyun´s arrival at first. And Baekhyun couldn´t move. He had lost count of the times that Taehyung had decided to appear in his dreams but it was different this time. Usually, those pictures of Taehyung used to be memories. Things, he remembered as vividly as the morning of the present day. This, however, wasn´t a memory. It wasn´t anything Baekhyun thought he should have remembered. He wasn´t in the past, Taehyung was here with him, in the present.

“H..how?” he managed to whisper.

Taehyung´s head shot up in surprise and a wide boxy smile spread over his face, upon spotting the other, “I´ve been wondering, when you´d finally show up.”

“Y-you…” Baekhyun´s shoulders were moving up to his ears and he had a hard time pushing back the tears, “You´re not real. You can´t be.”

Taehyung put the book down with a sad smile, “Do I have to be?”

No, he didn´t. Just seeing him like this was enough. Enough to have Baekhyun break. His legs started to wobble and he could only claw onto the doorway, in favour of not falling to his knees. Having Taehyung this close to his heart, so close to reality almost hurt even more than watching him die over and over again. He didn´t know why but Baekhyun felt so scared. So cold.

“Come here.” Taehyung said, his arms wide and welcoming.

Baekhyun didn´t need to be told twice. He stumbled towards his loving friend and right into his embrace. Taehyung pulled him in, leaning against the headboard, until Baekhyun could comfortably lie on top of his chest. It felt too real, too vivid and he had to remind himself of where he was over and over again. He sniffed pitifully into Taehyung´s collar. The younger let him with his fingers carding through Baekhyun´s locks in a soothing rhythm. He smelled just like he always had. Strawberry-sweetness with a slice of cologne and a tint of something that Baekhyun couldn´t describe. Something, just Taehyung. A chuckle rumbled through Taehyung´s body and Baekhyun´s head wobbled with the motion.

“They´ve grown so long.” he said, fascinated by Baekhyun´s strands, “When was the last time you cut it?”

Baekhyun bunched the fabric of Taehyung´s shirt in his palm, “Three years ago. When you did it, in the old hotel.”

“That was wild.” Taehyung recalled with another amused sound, “We used a pair of nail scissors. They were so dull.”

He couldn´t help but smile, “Yes they were. I´m surprised it grew out so well.”

Taehyung hummed, “My favourite part was the making out in the bathtub afterwards. It felt very… ‘us against the world’, you know?”

Baekhyun´s fist tightened, all kinds of emotions causing his breath to come unsteady, “Taehyung-… I-“

“I know.” he whispered, “You know even though I wouldn´t have minded more, I was always happy with just being your best friend. You can´t force someone to love you.”

Baekhyun propped himself up on his elbows, “But I do love you!”

A little smile greeted Baekhyun, but it wasn´t sad or angry, it was as peaceful as it could have been, “Not like you love that tall boy.”

He averted his eyes, unable to meet Taehyung´s eyes that stared right through his every lie, “I didn´t want to hurt you. I-… I was scared.”

“Of what?” Taehyung almost sounded disbelieving.

Now, that he questioned it like this, Baekhyun had to admit he wasn´t so sure anymore, “Of… of everything! Hurting you, loosing you… disappointing you.”

Taehyung´s hand touched his cheek and it felt so real, Baekhyun knew that it was thanks to remembering it so very vivid, “You could have never disappointed me. No matter what, you were always my miracle, Baekhyun.”

He had spoken those words too. Baekhyun wished he could have been able to say them to Taehyung. Then again, saying them to Chanyeol didn´t feel as wrong as it used to. It didn´t feel wrong at all.

“How could you forgive me?” Baekhyun whispered.

It surprised him, to see the pain flashing in Taehyung´s eyes, “I don´t have to, you did nothing wrong.”

“I lied to you”, he whimpered, “I deluded you. I made you believe something that wasn´t there. You-… You died because of- I killed you!”

“Hey.” Taehyung´s hands were steadier on his cheeks now, “You. Did not. Kill me. Okay? I died, because of my choice. You couldn´t know, neither could I. It happened and it was no one´s fault. And besides,” his eyes became smaller with another smile, “You might have lied to me, but you did it for me, too. You gave me a light that I could follow, even in the darkest nights. And on top of that, by doing so, you put me first, before you. Before your own feelings. I´m not so dumb, to think you did this out of malice and neither are you.”

It took a second for Baekhyun to understand what Taehyung was implying, “Y-you knew?”

“From the first day.” Taehyung said softly, “You´re too sweet to be a good liar Baek. You always were.”

“Why didn´t you-“

“Because, I´m selfish.” For the first time, the boy seemed shy of his words, “I was so greedy for… whatever it was that we had. I didn´t have the strength to give up on it.”

Releasing a deep sigh, Baekhyun let his head drop back on Taehyung´s chest. He still felt so real. Every word spoken, seemed so vivid and Baekhyun had a hard time believing that he really had made all of it up. Who knew? Perhaps, Taehyung was truly still around, like Baekhyun had always wished.

“Stop looking for someone to blame Baekhyun.” Taehyung said, breaking the silence after a while, “it won´t get you anywhere.”

Baekhyun couldn´t help the bitter laughter that escaped him, “Then what do you suggest? I should just forget everything.”

“You know that´s not what I mean.” Taehyung´s voice sounded tired now, “I just can´t watch you allow the darkness to eat away your heart. It frightens me.”

“Why?”

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Taehyung turning his head to the window, “Because, at some point, there might be nothing left anymore.”

Baekhyun reached intertwined his fingers with Taehyung´s. He had never realized the weight that Taehyung had carried, too distracted with his own. Having the person you loved the most so close, with the knowledge that everything you were yearning for was a lie – it must have been pure torture. Beyond anything that Baekhyun knew. He felt small in comparison, coming to understand that his problems were rather laughable, next to his best friend. But more over, he felt undeniably guilty once more. Had he done wrong? Were his decisions not born from a selfish seed? Taehyung´s fingers tightened around his and he reminded himself: There was no one to blame.

“I miss you so much.” he whispered, “I wish you were still there to guide me.”

A huff jolted Baekhyun´s head forward, “I think you´re doing a pretty good job of that yourself. Besides, in the worst case…”

“What?”

When Baekhyun craned his head to read Taehyung´s face, he was met with a shit-eating grin, “You still got your tall boy. He seems to be good at guiding… with his hands.”

He giggled loudly and Baekhyun´s face fumed, “Shut up! Oh my god.”

Even the thick layer of red on his cheeks wasn´t enough to cover up Baekhyun´s giddy smile. A strange thing happened in his chest: He found himself missing Chanyeol. Even with Taehyung wrapped around him, Baekhyun allowed his heart to pull back to reality. Back to Chanyeol and that was okay.

“You´re letting go.” Taehyung whispered and Baekhyun had never heard him sound so at peace before, “I´m glad.”

Baekhyun turned his body, so he could feel Taehyung´s hips press into his stomach, “Me too. Still, I feel sorry.”

“You know, that´s never what I wanted.” Taehyung´s hand moved up to run through Baekhyun´s hair, “I wanted to be a reason for you to fight on; to survive. But it all turned out to be the biggest burden you could have had.”

Baekhyun´s eyes widened in despair, “But you ARE the reason I am still alive. I survived for you.”

“And I am all kinds of thankful for that.” Taehyung said, “But I wish you would have survived for yourself.”

“It´s never that easy, Taehyung.”

It was nothing but a mere whisper but Baekhyun sensed the effect his words had. They weighed down on Taehyung´s shoulders, until he slumped against the headboard. His eyes were sealed shut, chest softly moving with a breath on the brink of control. It was a reality that neither of them wanted to hear, yet a truth that both of them needed to know.

After a while, Taehyung´s eyes opened again and he gave Baekhyun a tired smile, “It should be.”  
“Yes”, Baekhyun´s breath hitched, “It should be.”

 

Baekhyun woke up to the warmth of rough skin against his cheek. A touch, so gentle he could have as well imagined it. His eyes opened and he was met with a familiar face. Upon recognizing big eyes and round cheeks, Baekhyun´s hand shot up from beneath the blankets, to grasp the hand on his face. He held it tight, refused to let go, even as a careful pull worked against him. Without hesitation, he pulled the palm of Chanyeol´s hand to his lips and covered it with a kiss.

Chanyeol looked lost. His eyes spoke volumes of emotions. Worry, fear, sadness, confusion and affection, so pure and desperate, Baekhyun felt his throat squeeze shut. Suddenly, Chanyeol´s hand wasn´t enough anymore, he needed more. He let go and instead reached out to tug at Chanyeol´s shoulder. The man followed his motion without resistance and it relieved Baekhyun to no end. Lifting the blankets, Baekhyun shuffled to make space for the other and Chanyeol settled in next to him. Limbs wrapped around Baekhyun and he allowed himself to drown in the familiar scent. It was everywhere and he didn´t think there was a better feeling in the world.

Chanyeol shifted a little, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun´s forehead, despite the slight sheen of sweat, still lingering there. Baekhyun´s chest swelled and in return he looked up and placed a kiss of his own on Chanyeol´s lips. The taller´s hand was rubbing absentminded circles into his lower back and as their eyes locked, Baekhyun felt even the last remains of nervousness leave his mind.

“He was my best friend,” he felt Chanyeol tense in his arms but didn´t dare to look up at him, “Taehyung.

“We used to go to school together, but we knew each other since we were in kindergarten. He was the reason I survived for so long. Without him, I wouldn´t have known what to do after the virus broke out. He protected me and I did the same for him. He…” Baekhyun gulped down his tears, “He was my soul mate.”

Chanyeol´s nose laid buried in Baekhyun´s hair and muffled the small: “What happened…?”

“He died, while he saved me.” Baekhyun´s hand tightened around the fabric of Chanyeol´s shirt, “It haunts me. Whenever I close my eyes I see him. I see the promises I couldn´t keep and I see the love I couldn´t give him.”

The arms around Baekhyun pulled him closer, “I´m sure you gave him all he could ask for…”

Baekhyun closed his eyes, revelling in everything that was Park Chanyeol, “I didn´t love him. Not the way…” he gulped, “Not the way I love you.”

He couldn´t face Chanyeol, too afraid of what he would find. Instead, Baekhyun buried his nose deep into the chest in front of him and held on tight. He felt embarrassed but somehow the confession made his heart feel a lot lighter. His cheeks were warm but he would never take his words back.

For a long time, Chanyeol didn´t move. All he did was breathe above Baekhyun, making the silence almost unbearable. Then, with a sudden jolt, Baekhyun was pulled on top of Chanyeol with an embarrassed squeak. The giant hugged him like he never planned on ever letting go again. Baekhyun smiled, as he felt Chanyeol´s nose rub against his neck and leave a soft kiss in his way. This, he thought, this was the way it always should have been.

They cuddled for a few minutes, fading out the world outside of their room, until there was a silent knock on the door. Chanyeol craned his neck to call out and Baekhyun moulded himself closer against his chest. It was so fascinating to explore how perfectly their bodies fit together.

Minseok´s face appeared in the doorway, “How is he?” he asked Chanyeol.

“He´s great.” Baekhyun answered, before the other could, “Thanks for asking.”

As he turned his head, he spotted Minseok rolling his eyes with a smile, “You guys good to go? We´re thinking now is a good time to leave. Otherwise, we´ll have to wait another day.”

“What do you think?” Chanyeol asked, his fingers grazing Baekhyun´s cheek.

The smaller yawned into Chanyeol´s shoulder, “It´s alright with me.”

“We´ll be out in a minute.” Chanyeol then said to Minseok and a few moments later, the door fell shut again.

Baekhyun smiled down at Chanyeol, earning himself the same expression. He loved every single thing he saw and that slowly started to dawn upon him. In a world, darker than the night, Chanyeol had crossed his path and given Baekhyun a light that he thought he had lost a long time ago. If only he could put what he felt into words. Finding himself unable to do so, Baekhyun leaned down and kissed the other man. He let the touch speak and something in his chest told him that Chanyeol understood, with the way his hands found their place on Baekhyun´s waist. They grounded him. Chanyeol was his anchor now. He didn´t have to float anymore – didn´t have to be scared anymore. Because Chanyeol would hold him and Baekhyun would do the same for him.

They separated and started to pack their things. Chanyeol wordlessly pulled his jacket around Baekhyun´s frame and the smaller tried not to let the blush on his cheeks show too obviously. Biting the inside of his cheek, Baekhyun pulled the jacket to his nose, when Chanyeol looked the other way. It still carried his smell. Baekhyun smiled to himself.

Outside, the others were already waiting, some fidgety, some calmer than the seconds before a storm. Baekhyun felt their eyes on him. They were worried and he attempted a comforting smile, to ease them. Anthony seemed to sense that something was different, too. His ears were pointed towards the sky, eyes staring right through Baekhyun´s chest and into his heart. He kneeled down, to give the dog a few strokes and smiled, as Anthony started to relax into his touch.

“It´s weird, to leave this place.” Jongin said, as they exited the silo together.

“How long have you already been here?” Baekhyun asked.

Minseok adjusted his backpack, as they went along the highway, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had crossed what felt like years ago, “Somewhere along four months maybe. Hard to tell, when you don´t have a phone or a calendar.”

To Baekhyun´s surprise, Kyungsoo chuckled, “Never would have thought you´d say that.” then he turned his head to Baekhyun, “He was a bit of a tech-sceptic.”

“That´s easy to say, when you were the only one who wasn´t in a relationship with his phone.”

They kept bickering and Baekhyun watched with a smile. These were still the same boys they had been before the apocalypse. Sure, with the time they had accommodated to their new world; had built more muscle and started to see the universe through a tinier key hole than before. Yet, they still had the same memories, the same souls and the same lives they still shared. Baekhyun wondered, how much he still resembled his old self? If the old Baekhyun stood next to him, with four years less and a lot more naivety, would he recognize him? Would those two boys still feel like the same person?

A hand in his own ripped Baekhyun from his thoughts. He looked up to find Chanyeol smile at his friends, throwing in comments on the discussion they still shared. It didn´t matter, Baekhyun thought, if he was still the old him. Because, Chanyeol liked this Baekhyun and he wouldn´t want it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for reading this update!! 
> 
> I hope you liked it, despite all the emotional rollercoasters <3 
> 
> Until soon my dear, I hope you have a wonderful time! <3


	10. Turnover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back dear traveller <3 
> 
> It´s time to follow Baekhyun into a new era… let´s do it, you coming along?

“I need to sit down, otherwise I think my legs will just disappear into thin air.” Jongin groaned and sat down on top of a car.

The rest of the group settled around him. Baekhyun slid his backpack off his shoulder with a wince. The thing had turned from being his best friend to his worst enemy throughout the past ten hours and it felt like his shoulders had permanently moved down a few centimetres. Despite an excess of training through running away from infected, Baekhyun had never been ready for this: A daylong walk with a single break to eat and a few small breaks to piss. He felt like dying. Anthony seemed to share his feelings, as the first thing he did was to fall onto his side with an audible huff.

“We should find a place to rest somewhere.” Kyungsoo decided and everyone nodded in agreement, “Split up, find something that looks safe and don´t move too far away from the group.”

They left their backpacks at the car and followed Kyungsoo´s orders. They had reached the outer skirts of the next city already and around him, Baekhyun recognized the rich fashion of row houses. Everyone of them had a wide garden in the front and an even bigger one in the back and they laid open, for everyone to enter. Baekhyun knew better than to assume they were open though.

He wandered along the street, listening to the muffled sounds of his friends in a bit of distance. Another road, then he would turn around. With a nervous glance behind himself, he noticed the sun had already disappeared behind high tree tops. They maybe had another hour, before they would be drenched in darkness. He stopped at the next crossroad, about to turn back with a defeated sigh, when he spotted something:

“Hey guys!” he called and the rest of the boys gathered around him, “Look at this.”

At one of the corners of the crossroad, a single house stood out. Instead of a simple, grassy lawn, the garden overflew with trees and greens and it was the only property that occupied a high fence. Baekhyun pointed his finger at his initial finding: A tree house, well hidden between branches and leaves. It wasn´t big but Baekhyun doubted that they wouldn´t find a way to fit in there together.

“Brilliant.” Minseok nodded and handed Baekhyun his backpack, “There´s no way we´re gonna be found in there. Not even by agile creatures.”

They climbed the fence, Chanyeol giving most of them a bunk-up, before he heaved himself over the edge as well. Anthony easily slipped through a tiny gap at the edge of the fence and Baekhyun praised him with a grin. Anthony´s tail waggled happily and Baekhyun gave him another kiss, before they followed the rest of them to the tree house.

Sehun was the first to climb up the long ladder, shaking a little with the strain. When his body had disappeared halfway through the entrance, he stopped in his tracks, “Uhm, guys? It looks like we weren´t the first ones with that idea.”

Baekhyun shared a surprised look with Kyungsoo, before hurriedly following Sehun. As he poked his head through the hole, his eyes widened and his mouth fell agape. It was an empty tree house, like every other. However, it wore something very different from an occasional tree house; every single centimetre of wood was covered in numbers and letters, scratched into the surface. The walls, the ceiling, even parts of the floor wore formulas that seemed so complex; they could have just as well been a different language. When he felt a nudge against his foot, Baekhyun climbed inside all the way.

“Holy…” Chanyeol´s expression immediately mirrored Baekhyun´s own, “What the hell happened here?”

Kyungsoo climbed in next and although he did a good job of masking his surprise, Baekhyun knew that the man was just as surprised as the rest of them, “What is all of this?”

“It looks like a long bunch of science formulas.” Baekhyun answered, “Might as well be a single, really big one.”

Kyungsoo´s eyebrows scrunched together, “Science, huh? Sehun, is there anything you recognize?”

Baekhyun´s eyes widened at the realization and he watched Sehun look around. At first, the man seemed lost in the sea of signs but then he came to a halt. He swiped his fingers across something in one of the corners and mumbled: “Only my name.”

They shared a tense silence, until Sehun spoke up again: “Do you think they were here?”

“Quite recently, even.” Kyungsoo said, his attention focused on the furthest corner of the tree house, “There´s blood. It´s not dried yet.”

Sehun pushed past Kyungsoo, “Oh my god… Do you think- Do you think someone is still around? Someone from the team?”

“It could be.” Kyungsoo said, “but wherever they are, they´ll have to hold out without us.”

Sehun´s fists were clenched tight, “What? But they´re hurt. What if it´s really someone from the team? One of my friends?”

“Then I´m sorry, but there´s nothing we can do.” Kyungsoo answered.

Baekhyun took one look at the man and knew he wouldn´t budge. Knowing Kyungsoo by now, Baekhyun was surprised that the former had even taken a liking to him. Maybe he had, because Baekhyun had been important to Chanyeol. Even taking Sehun along could only be blamed on Baekhyun´s persuasiveness. By now, Kyungsoo´s patience must have reached its´ end and Baekhyun couldn´t blame him. Yet, looking at Sehun´s panicked expression, Baekhyun couldn´t help but sympathize with him.

“Maybe we should look for them.” he said, feeling surprised eyes focus on him, “They could be in need of help.”

“You want to go out there? Into the darkness, with infected around every corner?” Chanyeol´s eyebrows were scrunched together and Baekhyun could tell why the giant suddenly decided to intercept. Not, because he didn´t want to go out there himself. He didn´t want Baekhyun to go. The realization awakened a strong urge to kiss the other breathless inside Baekhyun´s chest, but he held himself back.

Instead, he took a steadying breath and decided to speak again: “If there was a possibility Taehyung was still alive, I know that nothing could hold me back. And I also know that not trying to help him would tear me apart.”

He could see the expression in Chanyeol´s eyes change to something softer and more melancholic. It wasn´t jealousy, as Baekhyun had thought at first but something he valued like nothing else in the world: Understanding. Even Kyungsoo, despite not knowing anything about Taehyung, seemed to grasp the seriousness in Baekhyun´s words. Sehun´s eyes had widened in a hopeful glow. Baekhyun just begged he wouldn´t have to disappoint him.

Kyungsoo threw a quick glance out of one of the small windows, “Two hours.” He said, “we´ll look for two hours. If we haven´t found anything till then, we go back.”

It took a while for Sehun to debate with himself, but then he nodded, “Two hours.”

“We´ll split up into three groups.” Kyungsoo decided and he was already moving down the ladder again, “It´s easier to move that way and we cover more ground.”

They gathered back in the grass, explaining the situation to Minseok and Jongin. Then, they split up: Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo and Minseok declared he would go with Sehun.

Baekhyun felt a nudge against his side and as he looked up, he found Chanyeol smiling with determination, “If I can´t stop you from going, I´ll at least be there to take care of you.”

“Deal.” Baekhyun whispered and intertwined their hands.

“Okay”, Kyungsoo said, “Jongin and I will take Anthony, maybe he can pick up something from the blood trail?” Baekhyun noticed the underlying question and nodded, to confirm he was okay with leaving Anthony to the two other men, “Sehun, Minseok, you two move towards the inner city. But, only for 800 metres at most, got it?” the two nodded, Sehun a little more reluctant than Minseok. Then, Kyungsoo turned to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, “I know you guys work well as a team, so you should check the stores and bus stations in the small shopping alley down the street.

“Remember, no lights, no sounds.” Kyungsoo huffed, as if the acceptance of what they were about to do still hadn´t caught up with him, “Either you move like shadows, or you don´t move at all.”

Everyone agreed and then set off to their destinations. Baekhyun grabbed the old machete he had carried when he had been at the hospital with Kyungsoo. It felt lighter in his hand than the last time. More secure, more familiar. He didn´t know if it was a calming feeling or something that should have scared him. Instead of dwelling on the question too long, Baekhyun decided to focus on how hot Chanyeol looked with the crowbar he had picked up.

They took off, one of their hands intertwined with the other´s and the other clutching their weapon. Baekhyun noticed the fear making his hair stand up but somehow Chanyeol´s presence made him feel safe. Safe enough to face the danger. The couple took off, following the directions that Kyungsoo had given them and never leaving more space than an arm´s length between their bodies. With every second passing, the sunlight disappeared more and with it; their seconds.

“Here.” Chanyeol whispered, down the road they had entered.

Baekhyun looked through the darkness, finding the corpse of what he assumed to be a once lively shopping street. He had spent long hours of his time in similar streets, walking around with Taehyung or his family. For the first time, the destruction didn´t weigh him down anymore. He threw a quick gaze at Chanyeol. Even with his past destroyed, Baekhyun had everything he needed right here.

They went down the street, silent like ghosts and freezing, whenever they heard a sound in the distance. However, those sounds never drew closer and it allowed them to move quickly. After just one hour, they had checked every store. Chanyeol huffed, his shoulders dropping and Baekhyun knew the feeling that gathered in the other´s chest at that moment. Finding something would have been terrifying but finding nothing was way worse. It meant that they would have to let Sehun down and that he would probably never get to see his friends. Baekhyun knew what that felt and to say he felt sorry for Sehun was an understatement.

It was exactly that feeling that made him speak up: “Maybe we should check down at the crossroad, too?”

Chanyeol gave a nervous glance to the dimly lit sky and Baekhyun knew what he was thinking right away; they were running out of time. Two hours. That was what Kyungsoo had said and after putting his trust into them, Baekhyun certainly didn´t want to betray him. The internal battle in Chanyeol´s mind was clearly written on his face and Baekhyun had a feeling that Chanyeol was not only worried for his own sake. It wasn’t a secret that Chanyeol was displeased with Baekhyun being outside at night, no matter if he was with him. Which made the fact that Baekhyun could reach out and grab his hand right now, so much more valuable.

“Quick.” Chanyeol finally agreed with a stern face, “And we won´t enter any buildings anymore.”

With a fast nod, Baekhyun had his hand back in Chanyeol´s and pulled him along. The crossroad was littered with crashed cars and Baekhyun could only assume the chaos that had once occupied this place. He pointedly avoided looking inside the crashed cars. There was a dark aura around this place, even heavier than usually. Air, laced with death – Actual and final death. Chanyeol seemed to feel it too, since he pulled his shoulders up a bit.

Baekhyun craned his neck. A clothing boutique occupied one of the corners completely, while the remaining once were filled with apartments and smaller stores. By now, it was almost impossible to even spot a silhouette.

“I think we´re at a dead end Baek.” Chanyeol´s voice broke through the silence, hesitant and way too loud, “there´s nothing to find here.”

Although the realization of their unsuccessful trip tasted bitter on his tongue, Baekhyun knew he was right. There was no sense in walking into danger, just to look for someone that probably couldn´t be saved anymore. He was about to agree, when a screech cut through the air.

The two men whipped their heads to look at each other. The sound came from the clothing boutique and it sounded strangely human. Too humane to be ignored, they agreed silently. As if they were one, they set into motion, guarding each other, as they crawled inside the huge building. Dust enveloped every inch of the clothing racks and puppets, thick enough to even be visible in almost pitch black darkness. Baekhyun could hear the unsteadiness in Chanyeol´s breaths and he knew that he wasn´t doing much better. Yet, he took the lead and guided them up a dead escalator.

Their steps, although soft and careful, echoed all around the building. The closer they came to what should have been the source of the sound, the more silent it grew. Baekhyun pressed himself a little against Chanyeol. He was hoping that the touch would ground him but Chanyeol´s shaking frame did little to calm him down. He took a deep breath. Be strong.

Turning around a corner, Baekhyun easily recognized the women´s section and let his gaze wander through. Thankfully, the boutique was filled with big windows, flooding the room with what little light was left. Clutching the machete a little tighter, Baekhyun stepped forward. Whatever the sound had been, it was gone. Silence was back, wavering around his ears, around his feet. It almost felt like he was wearing noise-cancelling headphones, hadn´t it been for Chanyeol´s scared breathing.

It took Baekhyun ages but when his heart had thumped against his ribcage for the hundredth time, he knew: There was nothing here. Whatever had caused the sound must be gone. Maybe, Chanyeol and him were going insane after all. Even though, Baekhyun couldn´t explain how they could have had the same hallucination.

He turned around and his eyes widened. Before he could shout, the infected had thrown himself at Chanyeol´s back, eliciting a surprised yelp from the tall man. Baekhyun could see the infected clawing at Chanyeol´s back but he had yet to actually sink his teeth into his skin. Baekhyun raised his machete, aiming so he wouldn´t hurt Chanyeol in the process.

A small sizzling sound hit his ears and the next thing he knew was the infected collapsing on top of Chanyeol. With the adrenaline and fear burning in his veins, Chanyeol scrambled and shoved the corpse off at light-speed. Before Baekhyun could react, the taller had thrown himself into his arms and Baekhyun couldn´t do anything but to hold on tight to the man. Over his lover´s shoulder, Baekhyun mustered the corpse. On the side of his head, a red dot had appeared, barely the size of a pea. A bullet-wound.

Whipping his head up, Baekhyun barely took a glimpse of a gun, before a strange voice filtered into the room: “Sh-show me your skin.”

Gently pushing Chanyeol out of his arms, Baekhyun motioned for the taller to comply and they both pulled their sleeves and collars out of side. It gave Baekhyun the opportunity to look at the stranger a little closer. Platinum-blonde, dishevelled hair and frightened eyes, framed by a deep red. The man had his jaw clenched and there were tear-streaks on his face. On top of his nose, sat a pair of glasses that had seen better days, judging from the big crack that cut through one of the lenses. He was breathing rapidly and Baekhyun could see the bones poking beneath his collar. Baekhyun had been on the verge of starving before but this was a new level.

“Now you.” He answered simply, when they were done.

At first, it didn´t seem like the man actually intended to follow his words. Then, after a few seconds of ragged breathing, he put his gun down. Now, Baekhyun spotted the silencer on the barrel. No wonder, he hadn´t been able to hear the shot being fired. It was almost painful to watch the skeleton-like man show his skin to the two and Baekhyun sighed in relief when it was over.

“You-you´re alive.” the stranger stuttered.

Baekhyun nodded, grabbing Chanyeol´s hand to stead him, “Like you.” Then, after a short break he added: “What´s your name?”

The stranger gave both of them a look, worry simmering in his eyes, “Jongdae. Kim Jongdae.”

Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol. He was met with the same expression as the one on his own face. Jongdae. The man Sehun had looked for – his friend. They had actually found him. It felt like a miracle.

“Who are you?”

Chanyeol turned back to the stranger, “I´m Chanyeol. This is Baekhyun. We…”

“We´re with Sehun.” Baekhyun finished.

There was a row of emotions projected on Jongdae´s face. Surprise, disbelief until it morphed to something so strong, so relieved that Baekhyun´s heart jumped in his chest. This was why he had wanted to go so bad. To see a face like this, rather than eyes of grief. However, the precious expression didn´t last as long as Baekhyun had hoped.

“You have to help me.” Jongdae pleaded.

Chanyeol nodded, ready to get into motion, “Don´t worry, we´ll get you to a safe place. We´re quite a few people so you don´t have to be sc-“

“No!” They eyes Jongdae with surprised, “There´s-“ he flinched, unable to find his words, “There´s someone else. He´s- he´s hurt. I wanted to find a rope or something, then I saw you guys walking into this store and I-“

Baekhyun held up a hand to stop him, “He?”

“Yixing.” Jongdae said, “He fell and broke his arm, I can´t pull him out.”

“Where?” Baekhyun asked.

“Near the west-side tunnel.” Jongdae´s eyes were flaring with hope now and it lit the fire inside Baekhyun´s stomach.

He nodded, his face determined, “Lead the way.”

Jongdae got into motion, but before Baekhyun could follow, a hand grabbed onto his arm and held him back. As he turned, he was met by Chanyeol´s furrowed brows.

“Baekhyun, do you really think this is a good idea?”

“I don´t know”, he admitted, “But I´d rather take a risk, than wait for someone to decide that for me.”

Chanyeol´s eyes were burning pleading holes into him now, “We can´t save everybody, Baek.”

For a second, Baekhyun felt angry at the other’s statement, but he knew better than to think Chanyeol didn´t care. Because, the tight grip on his arm, the pleading tone of his voice gave away how scared Chanyeol was for him. But, even though Baekhyun felt guilty about putting Chanyeol through his worries, he couldn´t look away. Not when he knew what was on the line. No one would lose another part of their family, as long as he could help it. As long, as he was still breathing.

“Not, if we don´t try.” he replied calmly, his hand moving to cup Chanyeol´s face, “We can do this Chan. We´re a team, remember?”

Chanyeol´s Adam´s apple bobbed and his eyes averted down to Baekhyun´s collarbone, as he whispered: “How could I forget?”

Without answering, Baekhyun put a finger under Chanyeol´s chin. He pushed until their eyes met again. There was still doubt in Chanyeol, Baekhyun could tell but now, a glint of determination had joined the dark colour of his orbs. Leaning in, Baekhyun pressed a soft kiss to Chanyeol´s lips, savouring his taste. It seemed to give both of them strength and when he pulled away, Chanyeol´s shoulders had straightened.

“Let´s go.”

Jongdae led the way, swaying a little every now and then. Baekhyun kept a close eye on the man, in case he´d have to support him. But his eyes remained determined, his fists clenched and Baekhyun knew one thing: just like Sehun, Jongdae wasn´t a scared little boy. Even though his body looked ready to collapse, Jongdae would have probably been able to lift a house with just the amount of willpower in his stare.

They slipped through the night, avoiding any sound. Night had come and even the last strings of sunlight had disappeared. Baekhyun´s senses were tense. Right now, they had to be more careful than ever. The darkness wasn´t their ally in a place they didn´t know. There was nothing to give them an advantage to their enemy, not when the shadow was practically invisible to the infected.

Baekhyun couldn´t help, but to question whether, it was wise to trust Jongdae with leading them through completely strange territory. He felt nervous and he could tell Chanyeol wasn´t any different. Then again, Jongdae was Sehun´s friend. He had recognized Sehun´s name upon mentioning. If there was any stranger left alive whom they could trust, Baekhyun would have bet one Jongdae rather than anyone else. Even, as he led them right into an old underground car park lot. There was barely any light flooding the long hall and Baekhyun could only guess the schemes of forgotten cars against the walls. He had never felt so helpless. His heart was thumping against his ribcage, so loud, he feared Chanyeol might hear it. Or worse: The infected might hear it.

He was about to question Jongdae if he was in his right mind, when a soft line of electric light flooded the room for the fraction of a heartbeat. At first, Baekhyun almost thought he had imagined it. Electric light? After four years of destruction? There was no way this was real. After the mass chaos, none of the powerhouses had crumbled to the ground, one by one. Every unnatural light, Baekhyun had seen in the past years had been created by matches and gas. But this-… it almost resembled his memory of a flashlight.

“Right over there.” Jongdae whispered.

They followed him towards the source of light. Before Baekhyun could take another step, there was an arm against his middle, stopping him. He looked up, spotting Jongdae´s edged face through the dim light.

“Careful”, he mumbled, taking a hold of Chanyeol´s arm as well, “This is where he fell down.”

Baekhyun took a step back, watching Jongdae kneel down. The light seemed to come from beneath their feet, seeping through a thick crack that was barely big enough to fit a body. A very haggard body, Baekhyun realized with a shudder. Jongdae clawed at the edge of the crack, looking down. As Baekhyun craned his neck, he could spot schemes of a similar parking facility as the one they stood in. Probably, another storey of the car park.

“Yixing?” Jongdae called and Baekhyun flinched a little at the noise, “I´ve tried pulling him up but his arm is broken and he can´t take a hold of the edge.”

“Why not take the staircase?” Chanyeol asked.

Jongdae huffed, “If it was that easy, we wouldn´t be here right now. The staircase has collapsed, there´s no other way out.”

“So, what´s the plan?” Baekhyun asked.

“One of you has to climb down and push him up and the other two pull him out.”

“Climb down?” Chanyeol questioned, almost outraged, “Are you nuts? Do you even know what could be down there?”

“Yixing is down there.” Jongdae bit back, “And that´s all I care about.”

“Then why don´t you climb down?”

Baekhyun sighed, placing a hand on Chanyeol´s shoulder to keep him from creating a fight. At first, the giant was pushing against him but Baekhyun pushed him back, until they were in a safe distance to exchange a whisper.

“Chanyeol, look at him. He couldn´t even lift Anthony.”

“If it´s so important to him”, Chanyeol said, “Let him try.”

Another sigh, “Chanyeol, please calm down. I know you don´t want to be here, but we HAVE to do something and fighting won´t get us anywhere.”

After a while Chanyeol´s shoulders dropped under his palm, “Alright… yeah, yeah you´re right, I´m sorry. So, what do you suggest?”

“I´ll go.”

“No.” Chanyeol´s voice was firm as iron, “Don´t be stupid Baek. I´ll go. I´m taller, I can-”

“That´s exactly the problem”, Baekhyun interrupted, “You don´t fit through the crack. I can squeeze through.”

He felt Chanyeol´s hand on his cheek, holding on, “Please, don´t. If something happens, I can´t help you.”

“Nothing will happen.” Baekhyun responded and he wished, he could believe the words himself.

“but if-“

“If it was me down there…” Baekhyun whispered and it was enough for Chanyeol to break.

His nose laid buried in Baekhyun´s neck and he mumbled: “I´m sick of that excuse.”

Baekhyun knew he had won though. Chanyeol´s embrace was tight. As if he wanted to savour the very last moment they had together. Although it was the most beautiful feeling, it scared Baekhyun to think he could be right. But just the thought of doing nothing and watching another person lose their loved one was enough to make Baekhyun´s hands curl into fists. He wouldn´t let this happen. And he would return into Chanyeol´s arms safely.

“I will come back.” Baekhyun promised.

They let go of each other and Baekhyun handed his machete to Jongdae. He eyed the crack in the asphalt, wondering how to go about the situation. There was a car right underneath them, high enough to climb up again. At least, he knew how he could get out again. On the other hand it was no surprise Yixing didn´t manage with one arm. He´d have to pull himself up, with no support for his legs. Baekhyun, at least, had some muscle and body fat to do the task for him. If Yixing looked remotely like Jongdae, Baekhyun doubted he could have climbed up there even with two functioning arms.

He sat at the edge of the crack. With his arms supporting him, he let himself down slowly, until he hung on the edge. The car was just millimetres from his feet now and he allowed himself to drop down the last bit. Beneath his feet, the metal rumbled a little and he froze in his motion. He still didn´t know what he would find down here.

After a few minutes of silence, Baekhyun allowed himself to move from the car, letting his gaze wander. It wasn´t hard to find Yixing, even, with the spare glow of the flashlight. He was hunched against a wall, hiding against the frame of a pillar. As Baekhyun hurried over, he flinched in fear at first.

“Hey, hey, it´s okay.” Baekhyun whispered, lifting his palms in peace, “I´m alive.”

“Y-you´re”, Yixing croaked and his voice sounded like the desert, “J-Jongdae… you have to find him. He went to-“

“We´re here with him.” Baekhyun said, “He´s fine. We came to help.”

It seemed like Yixing had a hard time believing him. Baekhyun couldn´t blame him. When you were on the edge of death, with no hope in sight whatsoever, miracles seemed unrealistic and naïve. Yet, Baekhyun planed on being Yixing´s miracle right now.

“Come on up.” he whispered, reaching for Yixing.

The man´s finger moved up, against his lips and Baekhyun stopped in his tracks. He followed the finger that Yixing pointed to their right. At first, Baekhyun almost wanted to refuse looking but when he did, a cold sweat broke out in his neck. They were all in a starvation-coma, as Baekhyun assumed but their limbs twitched every now and then. He counted three in total but he didn´t even want to imagine the possible corners and spots, where even more could be hidden.

“Fuck.” he whispered and then turned back to Yixing, “Okay, come on. We have to go.”

Nodding, Yixing reached up, to let Baekhyun lift him to his feet. He pointedly avoided touching Yixing´s left arm, which was bent in a worrying angle. They crept towards the car, Baekhyun´s focus split between keeping Yixing up and the group of infected so close by. He helped the other man on top of the car and followed suit. Grabbing the flashlight from Yixing´s healthy hand, Baekhyun pointed it against the ceiling, where he spotted Chanyeol´s and Jongdae´s worried faces. He reached up and handed it to Chanyeol and then expectantly looked at Yixing.

“You ready?” Baekhyun asked.

Yixing took a deep breath, “Now or never.”

Baekhyun nodded and knelt down to create a bunk-up. Holding onto his shoulder, Yixing stepped up onto his hands. Counting up to three, Baekhyun pushed the other man up, relieved for the first time that he was such a lightweight. Above him, Jongdae and Chanyeol took a hold of Yixing to pull him up. Baekhyun watched them with a flutter in his heart. He didn´t even risk looking back at the infected, only wanting to finally escape this unsettling darkness. There was barely any air left to breathe down here.

When he was sure Yixing had reached the top safely, Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol with a small smile, “don´t drop me.” he whispered.

Chanyeol mirrored his expression with a short nod. Baekhyun was about to get ready to jump, when he noticed a glint in his vision. Chanyeol´s eyes widened just in time for Baekhyun to realize the flashlight, which had slipped from his grip. For a short moment, time stopped and Baekhyun could only reach out to grasp for the metal. He felt it graze his fingertips. Felt the cool contact up to his core. Yet, the flashlight passed his hand in a blur, leaving Baekhyun with a desperate shock in his heart.

Beneath his feet, the flashlight collided with the top of the car in a deafening crash, resounding, as it bounced off the top to meet the concrete below. Baekhyun heard the infected before he saw them. As he turned his head, they were already running towards him in a murderous frenzy. Cursing under his breath, he got ready to jump up to Chanyeol. The taller´s face was scrunched up in panic and fear, as Baekhyun tried to keep himself stable on top of the car. It had started shaking with some of the infected now crashing against the sides. They were climbing towards him. No matter how many Baekhyun managed to kick off, two always replaced one. Where had all of them come from? There were so many, Baekhyun lost count at fifteen.

His heart thumped in his chest, so loud it almost drowned out their shrill screams. He tried to clear his blurry vision and straightened up to jump. Chanyeol´s arm was just in his reach and as he took off from the ground, he got a good hold of a familiar, rough hand. Chanyeol was pulling him up and Baekhyun was foolish enough to feel relieved.

The next thing he knew was a blinding pain, ringing in his ears, bitter in his mouth and burning beneath his skin. As he threw a quick look down, at his left leg, he almost threw up at the sight of blood. An infected had sunk her teeth into his flesh and he could feel the bone bend uncomfortably beneath the force. Had he not put so much strain into his arms, Baekhyun would have screamed louder than all the infected together. In a slight distance, he thought he could hear Chanyeol curse harshly and a second later the pull at his arms became stronger.

It felt like being ripped in half but after a few agonizing heartbeats, Baekhyun felt the weight of the infected at his leg let up. This time, he screamed, as the piece of his flesh was ripped off his body. Chanyeol´s face came into view, between the blur of tears and the haziness of pain.

“Baekhyun! Baekhyun, talk to me!” Chanyeol had him laid down on the ground, his face cradled in his hands.

“We need to get out of here.” Jongdae said, his voice seeming so far away.

Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun´s middle, to lift him up, “You need to wrap your arms around me baby, can you do that?”

Hazy with pain and the blood rushing in his ears, Baekhyun managed a small whine. His arms went up around Chanyeol´s neck, barely mustering any strength. It seemed to suffice though, as the giant was able to pick him up bridal style in the next second. They ran, Baekhyun noticed, watching schemes above him move past at a rapid pace. His heart seemed to slow down in an unsettling way but somehow Baekhyun didn´t have the energy to focus on that. All he could do was try to stay awake and listen to Chanyeol´s voice.

“Stay awake Baek”, he whispered against Baekhyun, his arms tightening even that little bit more, “We´ll bring you somewhere safe: back to the tree house. To Kyungsoo and Minseok and Jongin.” Had Baekhyun been able to even lift his eyelids, he would have wanted nothing more than to wipe away the tear-track on Chanyeol´s face, “Kyungsoo will know what to do. He´ll help.”

He felt so cold. Even in Chanyeol´s arms he felt so cold, it wasn´t right. The venom of the virus was spreading in his leg and he could only whimper in fear. A realization, as dark as the sea, drowning him in hopelessness: Baekhyun was turning. After four years of survival. After everything he had fought for, believed in and all the love he had gotten to know. After finally finding back to hope and light, he was about to turn into one of them.

His eyes widened. Chanyeol. He was in danger. If Baekhyun were to turn, the first one to attack would be the other man. He cried out, screamed but it only sounded in his head. All that left Baekhyun´s lips was a silent, miserable whimper. Chanyeol missed it entirely and Baekhyun was left unable to do anything but to concentrate on the twitching of his fingertips. Fingertips, filled with black-coloured blood. No, please. No.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun recognized Minseok´s breathy voice, before he came into vision, “Shit! Baekhyun? Baekhyun, can you hear me?”

“L…lea…ve… m-me.” he brought out, feeling his cheeks grow wet and cold.

They didn´t hear him, only carried him back to the tree house. No – there would be even more people. He would kill them all. Because of him, all of them would turn. All except: Sehun. His fate might just end even worse; forced to watch his friends die and be on his own. Baekhyun wanted to thrash, to scream, to warn his friends but his body didn´t respond to his pleads. As if it was on autopilot. It felt like every nightmare, every dark memory Baekhyun had ever had of Taehyung.

“What the hell?” Baekhyun never would have thought hearing Kyungsoo´s voice would make him feel so at peace, “What´s with his leg?”

Chanyeol´s voice sounded choked and Baekhyun wanted to hold him close more than ever, “H-he- the f-flashlight fell and- there were so many of them- h-he g-got bitten.”

As if stung by a bee, Baekhyun felt the warmth leave his body, “And you brought him here? ARE YOU CRAZY?”

“I couldn´t just leave him there!”

“He will kill us all, we have to-“

“WHAT? WHAT DO WE HAVE TO?”

“WE HAVE TO THROW HIM OUT!”

Their voices were far off now, Baekhyun could only hear the ringing in his ears. Milky shadows were passing his vision and the cold sweat on his forehead made him shiver violently. Somewhere distant, he could still feel a dull pain pulsate in his limb. This was the moment, he understood. Not cold, not warm. Not even scary – was this how death felt like? Or was it just the change in his blood? The black, which had started to mix in his veins. He didn´t want to know. All he wanted right now, was to sleep. To go find Chanyeol and lie down, surrounded by his warmth.

Allowing his breath to slow down, Baekhyun closed his eyes.

“Let me through, I can help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will he be able to make it through? 
> 
> You´ll find out in the next chapter, dear traveller <3 
> 
> Until then, thanks a whole lot for reading and I hope you have an amazing week <3<3


	11. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome back! I´m very happy to see you returned! 
> 
> Just as a warning: I will post the last few chapters all together now (including this one, probably 3-4) and will not comment on the following chapters anymore, except to give content warning. 
> 
> I´m so excited to finish this huge project and I hope you are as well! Until then, have fun!!

The world kept flickering before his eyes like a broken movie. His mind was fading between reality and hallucination, for longer than he dared to guess. Sometimes, he thought he could hear Chanyeol´s voice, calling his name. Then again, Taehyung´s voice appeared inside of the dark as well and he never allowed himself to believe any of it was real.

Baekhyun knew he was turning. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, a voice still reminded him of that. Usually, turning took between thirty minutes and one hour, but he had lost all sense of time. What had passed him by, could have been seconds, minutes, hours or even days. Every now and then, schemes would hover above him and sometimes he´d feel like his body was floating. At one point, he knew he was laid down on something soft but he barely had enough energy to notice the warm touch of a hand and the sharp sting of something against his arm. Despite lying down, there was not a single second in which he didn´t feel dizzy.

When Baekhyun was younger, he had had a bad case of pneumonia and his fever had been so high, they had had to rush him to the hospital. He remembered the high temperature and blur of reality from that event, only it seemed to last longer and feel twice as intense. There was no doubt, he should have died from a fever this high. But, somehow he was unable to do so. Whether it was because of Taehyung´s frame – the only clear thing he could identify – sitting next to him and watching him with furrowed brows, or the black blood in his veins, Baekhyun didn´t know. But, his soul wouldn´t leave. That was for sure.

When he came back to his senses, Baekhyun almost didn´t realize it. For the tiniest moment, he thought he was back with Taehyung. Maybe, for good, this time. Then, when he felt the sharp pain in the crook of his elbow and the stiffness in his bitten leg, he knew.

As he sat up with a groan, Baekhyun took in his surroundings. This wasn´t the tree house anymore. The wood was gone, replaced by soft blue walls that were slightly transparent. Baekhyun reached out to run his fingers over the strange surface. A tent.

Shaking his head with confusion, he finally directed his attention to the still prominent sting in his arm. A patch had been fastened to his skin and when he tried to rip off one of the edges he flinched. Underneath, a single, dark dot laid beneath his skin. The veins in the area were strangely swollen, darker than they should be. Shivering, he pushed the patch back in place. He didn´t have to see this right now.

Opening the zipper of the tent, Baekhyun flinched a little at the light. It seemed to sting lightly in his eyes, barely noticeable but somewhat strange to him. He rubbed at them a bit and crawled out. His leg still felt numb but he bit back the worry. Beneath his hands and knees, earth and dead leaves started to crunch. As he looked up, all kinds of green shapes broke through the sky. With awe, Baekhyun eyed the endless amount of trees that surrounded him and the bright blue above his head. It seemed so untypically peaceful, Baekhyun almost felt like he should distrust the whole scenery.

“If it isn´t the sleeping beauty.”

Baekhyun turned to look to his right. From behind the tent, a figure had emerged that he knew all too well and he couldn´t help the smile on his lips.

“Sehun.” he greeted, “Hey.”

“You gave us all quite a scare.” Sehun said and squatted down next to Baekhyun.

The latter looked around once more, “Where are they?”

Shrugging vaguely, Sehun looked at his hands, “Around three kilometres to the south.”

“W-what?” Baekhyun doubted that splitting up in an apocalypse was a wise thing to do, “Why?”

“You know so you don´t…” the man sighed, “attack them.”

Baekhyun´s brows were so furrowed with confusion, he could feel them touching by now, “Me?”

“You… you don´t remember, do you?” Sehun asked.

Baekhyun didn´t answer, only gave him another questioning look. What in the hell was there he should remember? All he knew was he woke up in a tent somewhere in the woods with only Sehun to accompany him in a radius of three kilometres. With a strange feeling in his guts, Baekhyun realized he didn´t remember anything before that.

“What happened?” He finally asked.

Sehun ran a hand through his hair, “Maybe we should get something to eat first, then I´ll tell you everything. It´s a bit of a long story.”

Baekhyun was about to disagree, when the first hungry growl sounded from his stomach and he looked down at his belly, “Traitor.”

“Who could blame him?” Sehun asked, as he got up to help Baekhyun on his feet, “You´ve been starving for almost four days.”

“W-what?”

Shrugging apologetically, Sehun lead him around the tent and to a fireplace, “You´d throw up everything we fed you. Even water.”

He tried not to dwell on the image too much and followed Sehun in silence. The fireplace still bore some blaze and as Sehun added new wood, the fire got going again. Sooner than Baekhyun would have thought was possible, he held a bowl with can-soup in his hands and sat comfortably on a backpack.

“We took you into the woods, since we figured having you in the tree house wasn´t safe.” Sehun started to explain, “I don´t know what you remember but… you´ve been bitten, Baekhyun. You almost turned.”

Despite having hungered for several days, Baekhyun felt the appetite dissipate from him at those words.

“Everyone was going crazy. Kyungsoo wanted to get you out so you couldn´t infect everyone else. Chanyeol wouldn´t let him. He actually hit Kyungsoo in the face when he suggested it. Everything broke out into total chaos.” Baekhyun´s head hurt, as he listened to Sehun´s story, “Then Jongdae interrupted them and… well basically he was the one who saved you. And me of course.”

Baekhyun eyed the patch on his arm once more, before he asked with a tiny voice: “How?”

Sehun´s shoulders dropped, as if he was almost ashamed to tell Baekhyun: “We didn´t know if it would work. The outcome would have been either you dying or surviving the bite. Even Chanyeol knew taking the risk was better than watching you turn into… one of them.”

Baekhyun took a shaky breath, “What did you do, Sehun?”

“We injected you my blood as a cure.” Sehun said and Baekhyun´s eyebrows shot up, “It was a slim chance. We didn´t know what blood type you had. We didn´t know what effect it would have on your body. If it hadn´t matched, if one thing had gone wrong… you wouldn´t have survived. Or worse; you would have become something beyond what we´re used to.”

“Beyond?”

“You know… your body temperature was way above the capacity for a human body. While the virus turned you, it… it also saved you. It kept you alive. That´s why you didn´t starve either.” Sehun had set his soup aside, as if he too had lost any feeling of appetite, “You carry my blood, your own and… the virus.”

When their gazes met, Baekhyun knew that Sehun must have noticed the terror in his eyes, “As far as we know, it´s not dangerous. Not anymore. But, we didn´t want to take risks, so we brought you out here, far away from the others.”

Baekhyun titled his head, “You´re still here though.”

“I´m not in danger.” Sehun huffed with a shrug, “Besides, I´m not the only one.”

“Huh?”

Rolling his eyes fondly, Sehun nodded his head in the direction of another tent a few metres away, “No matter what I told him he wouldn´t leave you alone. Kyungsoo practically begged him to come along with them but he stayed adamant. Let me tell you, this guy is either insanely brave or just really stupid.”

There was no need for a name. Baekhyun knew whose silhouette occupied the sleeping bag in that small tent. Whose big ears would poke out from a wild bunch of faded, dyed hair. He almost choked on the wave of affection he felt. Despite the danger, the possibility of being turned into his worst nightmare, Chanyeol had stayed with him. Baekhyun didn´t even know whether he should feel happy or worried.

“Love really does turn people blind.” Sehun mumbled and ripped Baekhyun from his thoughts.

A blush crept onto his cheeks but he answered nonetheless: “I suppose.”

He couldn´t help it. Before realizing what he was doing, Baekhyun had already gotten to his feet. All those feelings that bubbled through his body, he needed to let them free. To hand them to Chanyeol in whispered words and gentle touches. But before he could even take a single step, Sehun had grabbed his sleeve to stop him.

“Don´t wake him up.” Sehun requested, “He needs the rest.”

Trying not to assume how many sleepless nights Chanyeol had endured, Baekhyun gave Sehun a confident nod and made his way to the tent. Inside, it was warm and a little darker but the sun still managed to outline the silhouette of a pointy nose. It poked out from a familiar sleeping bag and made Baekhyun´s heart flutter. Honestly, at this point, even Chanyeol´s pinkie could have sent Baekhyun to Cloud 9.

He lay down next to Chanyeol and carefully pried his way into the sleeping bag. The taller was out like a light, mouth slightly agape and his breath coming out in rhythmic puffs. Baekhyun mustered Chanyeol. Even in his sleep, his eyebrows seemed to be furrowed with worry and he didn´t remember the bags beneath his eyes to every have been this dark. His lip was split, dried blood on the rosy flesh and there was a bruise on his left cheek. It looked like he had been beaten, Baekhyun noticed and remembered what Sehun had told him about Kyungsoo. Seemed like the smaller man had fought back.

“B-baek…?” Baekhyun was ripped from his thoughts, his eyes lifting to look at Chanyeol, “is this a dream…?”

A small smile crossed Baekhyun´s lips and he allowed himself to stroke the side of Chanyeol´s face, “No, not a dream.”

“Good.” Arms wrapped tightly around Baekhyun´s middle and he let himself be pulled in.

“´m sorry I woke you up.” Baekhyun mumbled into Chanyeol´s chest, “but I couldn´t wait.”

He felt the tip of Chanyeol´s nose rub against his scalp, “This is better than any dream I could have anyways.”

Baekhyun snorted, “You´re such a flirt.”

They cuddled in silence for a while, letting the chirps of birds and the rustling of leaves from outside lull them into a trance. Right here, in this tent, Baekhyun felt safer than he ever had before. Not even the weird pumping in his limbs or the dark spider-web of veins across his arm were enough to worry him.

“I can´t believe it worked.” Chanyeol whispered after a while, “I was so scared and everyone kept telling me to leave you behind. I´ve never been so glad.”

“Sehun says I still carry the virus but it isn´t dangerous.” Baekhyun said, “It feels weird though.”

Chanyeol shuffled a little, so he could look down into Baekhyun´s face, “What feels weird?”

Baekhyun sighed, unsure whether he should worry the other already, “You know it´s… I can feel it. It´s like there´s a fight going on inside of me. Between the virus and me – or Sehun. But while neither side is loosing, neither is winning either. As if it wasn´t meant to actually come to an end.”

Chanyeol´s brows furrowed and Baekhyun could see the wheels turning in his brain, “Sounds crazy.” Then he traced Baekhyun´s face with his eyes more intently, “You look good though. Healthy.”

Baekhyun titled his head a little. Healthy? How could that be, after everything that had happened? Though, thinking about it now, Baekhyun actually didn´t feel sick at all. Sure, there was still the strange pumping in his veins and the dull ache of his leg but apart from that, there was nothing to complain about whatsoever. No headache. No dizziness. Nothing.

“And the cut on your head has healed already.” Chanyeol noticed with awe.

“What cut?”

Chanyeol´s face morphed into an apologetic expression, “When we pulled you out of the hole, your head crashed pretty hard against one of the stones. There was a huge gash right here”, he pressed his thumb against the left side of Baekhyun´s forehead, “and now, I can barely see a pink line. Usually, this should take longer to heal. I mean, Kyungsoo hit me four days ago and the bruise is still there.”

“That fucker.” Baekhyun mumbled, feeling angry with the reminder once more.

“It´s okay”, Chanyeol said with a grin, “My own fault.”

“Why did you hit him?” Baekhyun whispered.

From the first time Baekhyun had seen the two of them interact, he had understood the deep connection they still shared. It had been strong enough to make him jealous, worried even that Chanyeol might change his mind and return to his ex-boyfriend. Now, the prospect of them actually fighting and even hurting each other, seemed so strange.

“He wanted to throw you out.”

Baekhyun shrugged, “He did what was best for the group.”

“Still”, Chanyeol groaned, seeming so frustrated with his words, “I was so scared for you and all I could hold onto was the hope that Kyungsoo might know what to do. I wanted him to help you, not to throw you out without a second thought. I don´t know, I guess I felt betrayed.”

“I never wanted you to hurt your friends because of me.” Baekhyun mumbled with guilt twisting his guts.

“You don´t get it, do you?” A finger beneath his chin, made Baekhyun meet the other´s eyes, “I´d do anything for you and I´m happy that that´s the way it is.”

Biting his lip, Baekhyun managed a soft nod, “Okay.”

He leaned in, captured Chanyeol´s lips in the softest kiss and felt Chanyeol press right back. His hands twisted in knotted locks and Baekhyun allowed himself to close his eyes and fall into the feeling. It didn´t matter how much they would kiss, Baekhyun doubted he could ever get used to it. The electric hum that Chanyeol´s touch sent through his body. His taste that had no name but made Baekhyun feel like he was in the perfect place.

Climbing on top of Chanyeol in the bulky sleeping bag was a tough task but after some shuffling, Baekhyun managed. The taller seemed surprised but just as happy with the new position. Naturally his arms wrapped around Baekhyun´s waist and pulled him closer. Baekhyun didn´t even try to resist the kiss. It was soft. Silent kissing noises breaking through the white noise of the woods. Baekhyun revelled in the warmth he felt and he managed to push the dark memories of the turning away.

When he pulled away, Chanyeol´s lips were stretched into a smile and his face was relaxed with peace. Baekhyun mirrored his expression and traced the bridge of his nose with a finger. It earned him another quick peck.

“Yixing knows the way to the safety-zone.” Chanyeol said after a while.

Baekhyun lifted himself up, so he could properly meet the other´s eye, “How far?”

“If we can keep a steady pace”, Chanyeol shrugged, “About two or three days.”

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Baekhyun dropped his head back down on Chanyeol´s chest. The steady thumping of his heart was the most comforting thing he could have asked for. Chanyeol´s hands had snuck beneath his shirt, fingers lazily tracing the dip of his spine. But they remained there. With a blush, Baekhyun remembered more insistent touches. Tugs at his legs, palms low on his body. He shouldn´t feel so embarrassed about it but with the lack of adrenaline and the soft nature of their current embrace he couldn´t help his racing heart.

A shadow spread across the fabric of their tent and a second later, Sehun´s head poked through the entrance, “Sorry, I hope I´m not interrupting anything.” truth be told, he didn´t sound sorry at all, “If you guys are good to go, we should get moving soon. Chanyeol, remember we promised Jongin to re-join the group as soon as we can.”

The giant nodded and started to open the zipper of the sleeping bag, “Yeah you´re right, we´ll be there in a second.”

That seemed to be enough for Sehun, as his frame disappeared as fast as it had shown up. With a sigh, Baekhyun untangled himself from Chanyeol and stretched his limbs. The other started to roll up the sleeping bag, while Baekhyun made work of the tent.

“Where did you even get all this stuff?” he asked, untangling the metal sticks from the tent´s fabric.

“Camping store.” Chanyeol explained, “Jongdae and Yixing knew the area pretty well and we managed to collect some stuff. Jongin even found a compass.”

Baekhyun smiled at the simplicity. It was a bitter knowledge: the fact that before the apocalypse they would have merely had to visit a store and buy one for five dollars. Nowadays, not even food came for a low price. He stuffed the tent into its´ bag. Seemed like you really only learned to appreciate things when they were taken away. He promised himself to not let that happen to him anymore.

After half an hour the three men had cleaned up the whole place, backpacks on their backs and determined steps carrying them to a destination Baekhyun didn´t know. They went along a small river – more likely a runlet – and Baekhyun admired the glittering sunlight reflect in the water. While humanity was struggling to stay alive, the world seemed to heal. Perhaps, the virus had been mother nature´s doing all along. He didn´t even have the heart to be mad about the possibility.

As he bumped his shoulder into Chanyeol´s for the umpteenth time, he allowed the taller to lace their fingers together. His palms were still rough, his touch still careful and Baekhyun smiled as the familiarity filled him. He tried not to think about the sting he still felt in the crook of his arm. His leg felt like it was completely new, even the slight stiffness had disappeared with a little moving. Yet, he was still painfully aware of the wound in his arm. It didn´t hurt, not really but there was a pulsing sting every now and then, as if a finger pressed into his muscle.  
Pretending to adjust his shoelace, he fell behind the other two men. They chatted softly, not paying him any attention and he could peel off the patch unseen. He shivered at the sight; the black lines of his veins were prominent, almost budging beneath the surface. They hadn´t spread though. The noticeable darkness remained in a small area, barely larger than his palm. Not even the scar on his leg, shaped like rows of teeth, wore a similar appearance.

Still fighting, Baekhyun thought. The virus and his body – war over his DNA. It could have unsettled him more than it did.

In the early afternoon, they finally reached a wooden hut. The runlet had widened into a proper river and it happily gurgled next to them. The place resembled a boathouse, occupying musty, wooden racks and a handful of half-sunken boats tied to them. Baekhyun stopped at one of the larger racks, looking around. There was barely anything else than the white noise of nature to be found and it almost seemed surreal. Despite having spent the majority of the post-apocalypse in dead silence, this was a different kind. It had changed. Or maybe, Baekhyun was the one who had changed.

A hand slipped into Baekhyun´s and he let Chanyeol pull him into the boathouse. As he stepped through the wooden door frame, Baekhyun barely had any time to prepare himself for the muscular body that collided with him. Minseok´s grip was strong but Baekhyun noticed a light shaking in his frame and he hurried to press the man into his chest as well.

“We thought we lost you,” he whispered and Baekhyun closed his eyes to hold back his tears.

“Takes a bit more to get rid of me,” he responded.

As soon as Minseok separated from him, Baekhyun squatted down on instinct. Anthony´s paws tapping on the floor had reached his ears the moment he had entered. Now, his friend was almost attacking him with kisses and nudges and Baekhyun couldn´t help his happy laughter. He caressed the soft fur, smelling Anthony´s familiar scent and home had never been closer.

When he looked up again, his eyes met Kyungsoo´s. The man wore a deep-purple bruise on his jaw and another on his cheek. In the corner of his lips, a small cut leaked blood, as he smiled down at Baekhyun. While everyone greeted Baekhyun with excitement, Kyungsoo remained in the background. He seemed unsure and combined with the man´s image, the prospect seemed so strange to Baekhyun. Perhaps, Kyungsoo did feel guilty after all. Even though, in Baekhyun´s opinion there was no reason to.

He got up and gave Jongin a hug as well, exchanging smiles and words of gratitude with Yixing and Jongdae. As he approached Kyungsoo, the man gave him a wider smile.

He cast a short look back at the others, before mumbling: “Let´s have a talk.”

Nodding, Baekhyun let himself be pulled out of the hut. They sat down at the rack that stretched into the river the furthest. Out here, all Baekhyun could hear was the soft rushing of the water. Not even the chatting of his friends could break through the noise and he allowed his shoulders to relax. Leaning back, he cast a look at the blue sky. He had seen a sky like this often but never had it seemed so close – so ready to be grasped.

“I did something horrible.” Kyungsoo whispered and Baekhyun looked next to him, to find the man´s body slumped and defeated.

He didn´t have to explain, Baekhyun understood him well, “No. Kyungsoo, you didn´t-“

“I would have thrown you out.” Kyungsoo whined, “I´m supposed to be your friend, to stay by your side!”

“Hey- Hey, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun had a firm hand on the other´s arm, “You did what you had to do.”

Kyungsoo´s eyes were red and his gaze intense, “They saved you! They did something, while the first thing that I could think of was to abandon you.”

“You protected them.” Baekhyun argued, his heart too heavy for his ribs, “There´s nothing better you could have done, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo whimpered, “I-“

His face disappeared in his palms and Baekhyun´s eyes started to sting. He didn´t hesitate and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Soft, shaved hair tickled his chin and Baekhyun relaxed, when he noticed Kyungsoo burying his nose into the dip of his collarbone. He ran his hand over Kyungsoo´s back, petting him gently as he listened to the man sob his heart out. Baekhyun closed his eyes. If only Kyungsoo would understand how selfless his decision had been.

After several minutes, Kyungsoo´s cries turned into soft sniffles, “I got so scared.” he whispered, “I didn´t want you to turn – to hurt the others or turn them too. I´m selfish…”

“You´re not selfish.”

“All the while, all I could think of was Luhan.” Kyungsoo lifted himself up, his eyes on Baekhyun so broken it made the latter feel suffocated, “And I knew if you had turned before my eyes, I wouldn´t have been able to kill you.”

Baekhyun was at a loss of words. He couldn´t imagine the fear Kyungsoo must have felt in that moment. Not, after what the young man had told him back then in the silo. He managed a small smile, nonetheless. After all, there was something else that Kyungsoo had told him back then.

“Forgive yourself, Kyungsoo.”

“But, I-“

Baekhyun held a hand up to stop him, “Forgive yourself, because I do.”

He knew Kyungsoo remembered because the tiniest smile crossed his lips. Baekhyun pushed the smaller into his chest, letting him rest there. Around them, the water shimmered with the sun and Baekhyun let the minutes pass them by. They had never been affectionate with each other and Baekhyun could only assume that this was a special kind of privilege. Kyungsoo would only let a few people see this side of him Baekhyun had no doubt. And he felt honoured.

After a while, footsteps broke through their blissful silence and Baekhyun craned his head to find Jongin approach them with an easy smile. He detached himself from Kyungsoo, as gently as he could. There was no way of hiding the knowing grin that had fought its way onto his lips. With a last nudge, he got up and let the two men be. When he was just about to slip back into the hut, Baekhyun turned one last time.

Jongin had taken his place on Kyungsoo´s side, feet dangling above the water. Their heads were close, bodies leaning against each other comfortably and Baekhyun spotted how Jongin played with Kyungsoo´s hand. There was a completely new sort of expression on Kyungsoo´s face. One that could only be reserved for Jongin. He watched them whisper to each other and when Jongin cupped the other´s face and leaned into a kiss, Baekhyun averted his gaze. This was not allotted to his eyes.

Inside, the others had spread on the ground, animatedly chatting with each other. Sehun had his head in Jongdae´s lap, while Jongdae half laid on top of Yixing. Minseok and Chanyeol had both chosen to sit against one of the walls, shoulders touching and sharing some snacks. Anthony immediately left his initial place at Chanyeol´s feet, to scuttle towards Baekhyun. The man gave him a soft nudge and moved to sit next to Chanyeol. As he set himself down comfortably, the first thing he felt, was the taller´s head fall onto his shoulder.

“And there´s showers. Actual working showers.” Jongdae explained.

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, “Where?”

“The safety zone!” Minseok answered, obviously obsessed with Jongdae´s telling, “You won´t believe what they made possible Baek. They found a way to bring back the electricity and they have actual farms with animals and vegetables and fruits. And there´s so many people.”

Baekhyun looked at Jongdae with raised brows, “It´s true.” the man nodded, “Throughout the past years, we´ve managed to save quite a lot of survivors. People like you, who somehow managed to slip through the cracks.”

“For how long have you been trying to find a cure?” Baekhyun asked.

Sehun snorted, “The moment the virus broke out, duh.”

“Speaking of”, Chanyeol interrupted, handing Baekhyun a piece of canned peach, “I´ve been wondering but… you guys don´t happen to know why the virus developed in the first place, do you?”

The three men in front of them exchanged a bunch of nervous looks. Baekhyun´s brows furrowed. He had never dwelled on the virus itself too much, being occupied with keeping it at the greatest possible distance. Now though, his curiosity had been picked. A virus as great as this one, couldn´t possibly appear out of nowhere. Even if Mother Nature had planned all of this, was there really a chance the apocalypse started to get into motion with no trigger whatsoever? He doubted it.

“Considering medical science, humanity was at its peak before the virus broke out.” Yixing started to speak, his voice low and pressed, “There was nothing that couldn´t be healed. Cancer, aids, every kind of dreadful sickness that had tested us, had been defeated. Everything could be healed and no one would die anymore. Nothing could kill us anymore, except one thing…”

A short silence spread across the room, before Chanyeol breathed in sharply: “Age.”

Jongdae nodded and his blonde locks bobbed in the sun, “The experiments had barely started but the state was ready to invest A LOT into the project.”

“Imagine a president that never dies.” Sehun explained with a bitter expression.

Jongdae ran a hand through the man´s hair with a similar look to his eyes, “Our superiors put a lot of pressure on us. They wanted us to actually find a solution to stop death.”

“A cough-syrup for immortality.” Yixing said.

“S-so you guys…” Minseok gulped, the new won information seeming heavy on his guts, “You were the ones to create the virus?”

Jongdae shook his head, “Not us. We were in the same station though.”

“So, you knew the person that created the virus?” Chanyeol asked.

“Wu Yifan.” Jongdae sighed, “an exceptionally gifted scientist. All of us knew, if anyone could figure out a task as seemingly impossible as this one, it would be him.”

Baekhyun bit his lip, “What happened to him?”

“His husband became subject 0.” Jongdae answered, “The very first host to carry the virus.”

Chanyeol´s eyes widened, “What? How-“

“Yifan was so confident in his invention that when the government prohibited any tests, he tried it on his husband Kim Junmyeon.” Yixing explained and his voice seemed almost strangled with anger, “Foolish.”

Yixing was hard to read. While Jongdae seemed to be a canvas of emotion, Yixing´s expression almost never changed from a neutral relaxation. Now though, Baekhyun thought he could see something dark hide behind the man´s eyes for the first time: Grief, no doubt. It all seemed so surreal. To think that these three people in front of him had known, even been friends with the one and only human being that had brought the source of all his pain into this world. He could have felt furious. He could have cursed Yixing and Jongdae for not stopping the apocalypse. Could have wished hell upon Yifan.

But after all the suffering, all the darkness, Baekhyun knew better. There was no point in dwelling on the mistakes of others, now, that there was nothing to be changed about it anymore. Each one of them had had their fair share of bad decisions and that didn´t exclude Baekhyun.

Leaning closer into Chanyeol, Baekhyun searched for comfort. Taehyung had told him to stop worrying. Chanyeol had told him to move on. Kyungsoo had told him to forgive himself. Yet, there was still guilt and regret eating at the back of his mind, which he knew would remain there no matter what he did. At least, for the meantime, he could concentrate on the fact that he had managed to protect Chanyeol. The man hadn´t died on his watch and wasn´t going to either.

Anyone who would try to separate them would meet hell.

“This is so depressing.” Sehun sighed, getting to his feet, “I´ll go and take a walk.”

“It´s not safe.” Minseok warned.

A dry chuckle left the youngest´ lips, “What, you´re scared I´ll get infected?”

That seemed to shut everyone up, even though Minseok still seemed rather displeased with Sehun´s decision. They watched him leave, Anthony about to jump after him. Chanyeol held him back and Baekhyun gave him a thankful nod. No way, he´d let his best friend walk out there on his own. Even if Sehun was with him, there was no guarantee Anthony was safe in the woods.

“Don´t get caught by a bear.” Jongdae joked and attacked Sehun´s leftovers without hesitation.

With another chuckle, Sehun was out the door. Chanyeol snuck an arm around Baekhyun´s waist and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Baekhyun smiled softly and squeezed the hand on his stomach. It didn´t take long for Jongin and Kyungsoo to return and Baekhyun was happy to see that the smaller man´s features had brightened up a lot. They were lucky, Baekhyun remembered once more. Lucky, to have someone they could trust with their heart.


	12. Refine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for major character death!!

flutter in his chest, “Is that so? I thought I already was.”

“Just to make it official.” the taller responded, wriggling a little to get comfortable.

“Admit it, you just want to show me off.”

Chanyeol´s happy smile turned into a smug grin, “Can you blame me?”

“No, you´re pretty damn lucky,” Baekhyun leaned down until their chests were touching, “but so am I.”

As he let go of Chanyeol´s hands, they moved to his waist and Baekhyun felt Goosebumps on his skin wherever they touched. His nose rubbed against Chanyeol´s, nudging it with an unspoken question. The taller´s tongue swiped over his lips and Baekhyun´s eyes followed the motion in a rush. He gulped. For the first time, he awakened to their proximity. Taking in Chanyeol´s scent, his eyes fell shut for the briefest moment. There was no way Chanyeol could miss Baekhyun´s heart thumping against his chest. Not, when Baekhyun could clearly feel Chanyeol´s own.

The first kiss he placed on Chanyeol´s lips was feather light, only brushing a corner. Beneath his palms, Chanyeol´s body shivered and he revelled in the knowledge of how much of an effect his simple touch had on the man. A boosted pride maybe, was what pushed Baekhyun forward to kiss Chanyeol again: properly this time. It gave the other an opportunity to kiss back and he did so eagerly. As they dropped into a slow make-out, Baekhyun felt Chanyeol´s fingers slip beneath his shirt. Heat, excitement: all through his skin.

They followed a pattern, a rhythm that they had developed some time ago. Chanyeol´s hands would grow bold, pressing Baekhyun´s hips down against his own and elicit a soft moan from the smaller. Their lips detached, the need for air undeniable by now. Instead, they searched their own path. Baekhyun couldn´t help the whimper that left his lips, as Chanyeol left a deep, dark love bite on his neck. It felt like he was trying to claim Baekhyun and the man would have lied if he said he didn´t like it.

Trying to distract himself from the forming heat in his belly, Baekhyun leaned down to place a hickey of his own beneath Chanyeol´s ear. A groan sounded through the tent, awakening the eagerness in Baekhyun to push his hips down harder. He continued nipping on Chanyeol´s neck, until he had painted a pretty picture of red and purple.

“You belong to me.” Baekhyun whispered against Chanyeol´s neck and he felt the grip on his hips tighten.

Whatever response Chanyeol would have had, it broke off in a choked sound, when Baekhyun´s hand slid between the others legs. He pressed and stroked, feeling warmth beneath his touch.

Unable to help himself, Baekhyun sunk his teeth into Chanyeol´s shoulder, “Can we take your shirt off?”

“Please.”

Even before Chanyeol could speak out the word, Baekhyun´s hands had grasped the fabric. As the other lay bare beneath him, Baekhyun couldn´t help but to marvel at the soft expanse of skin; Broken by scars, dirt and bruises but there was no denying the beauty beneath it. Chanyeol seemed to revel and shrink beneath his gaze, at the same time, and the longer Baekhyun´s eyes were upon him, the more he started to fidget. He didn´t fight Chanyeol´s hands pulling at his nape.

They kissed again, somewhere along the way getting rid of Baekhyun´s shirt as well. He never would have thought that another person´s touch could feel so intense. Then again, it could have been just because it was Chanyeol, as well. The harder Baekhyun drove his hips into Chanyeol´s the louder their panting grew. Between them, the heat and arousal wavered almost thickly in the air.

“Baekhyun”, Chanyeol whispered and Baekhyun leaned down to listen, “I- I want you.”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun cooed and swiped a thumb over Chanyeol´s nipple.

The taller could only sigh and close his eyes in pleasure, “Y-yeah. Want you to- to make love to me… shit.”

Baekhyun´s heart skipped a beat and it was all he could do, to hide his face deep in Chanyeol´s neck. There was a happy, little grin on his lips. To hear Chanyeol ask for something with this voice, those words, it did things to him. Things that made him want to kiss every inch of Chanyeol´s body, stroke his hair until he fell asleep and scream ‘I love you’, loud enough for the whole world to hear. Now, he wasn´t scared of that feeling anymore, he embraced it, dove into it. But, there was a bitter knowledge that made his smile disappear and his lips search comfort in Chanyeol´s neck.

“We can´t.” he growled in frustration.

“W-why?” Chanyeol sounded so desperate, almost scared, “D-do you not want me?”

Baekhyun could only huff out a breath and sink his teeth deeper into Chanyeol´s skin, “You must be crazy.”

“Huh?”

“To even think I wouldn´t want you. You´re so sexy, almost too good to be true.” Baekhyun lifted his head and met Chanyeol´s eyes in an intense gaze. If he could, he would take the man right here, right now but at the same time, he knew that he could never let his own desires be the reason Chanyeol got hurt, “But I won´t risk you getting hurt. We can´t do this without any lube.”

Letting his head fall into the pillow, Chanyeol groaned in furious frustration, “No, come on. I can take it.”

“I bet you can”, Baekhyun whispered, biting Chanyeol´s ear, “I bet you could go all night long. Wear me out like a champion.” Chanyeol whined, “But there´s other ways we can have fun.”

“If you´re suggesting a round of tic-tac-toe, count me out.” Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun grinned and before Chanyeol could process what was going on, Baekhyun´s hand had disappeared inside of his pants, “I think I´ve got a better idea.”

\--*--

The next morning almost came too fast. It felt like the moment Baekhyun had finally closed his eyes, the sun had already peaked from the horizon. Maybe, though, that wasn´t even so inaccurate, Baekhyun thought with a pleased grin, as he fought his way out of the tent. Chanyeol was still asleep, stark naked and with a smile on his face. Baekhyun left him there, finding great joy in seeing his boyfriend like this.

As he entered the house, Kyungsoo greeted him with a knowing smirk, “Next time, you might want to place your tent a little farther away. Some people were trying to sleep.”

“While others weren´t.” Jongin added with a smirk and a side-glance at Sehun.

Baekhyun ignored his own wildly blushing face for a moment, to muster Sehun. The man had a strange glow to his face and when Baekhyun´s eyes hushed over his neck, he could spot small, violet hickeys trail along his skin. With a frown, Baekhyun tried to grasp the situation. Until he noticed that Minseok was still missing and he remembered the two of them sharing a tent. He had been surprised by the prospect at first but now, it made more sense than Baekhyun would have thought.

“Don´t tell me you missed out on all the fun.” he teased Kyungsoo and Jongin, as he sat down with them.

“Luckily, they did.” Jongdae threw in from a corner, “Otherwise I would have probably drowned myself in the river.”

Yixing nodded his head, “It´s like a bunny shelter with you guys.”

“Could we maybe stop talking about this?” Kyungsoo sighed.

“You started.” Baekhyun shrugged but didn´t dig any further.

They shared their breakfast with chatter and smiles, until even the last sleepy heads joined the group. With a small grin, Baekhyun watched Minseok rub his eyes and sit down next to Sehun, who immediately shuffled a little closer. Just like the youngest, Minseok´s neck was covered in small, red love bites and he didn´t seem to make an effort to hide them whatsoever. Instead, his arm naturally went around Sehun´s shoulder and no one felt like they needed to mention it.

Chanyeol was the last to step into the hut, stretching his limbs and craning his neck on the way. He sat down next to Baekhyun, lifting his hand to place an absentminded kiss on the skin. Despite trying to suppress the butterflies in his stomach, Baekhyun could feel his soul jump with excitement.

“Everyone should be ready to go in an hour.” Kyungsoo proposed and the chatter died down, “pack up the tents, gather some water from the river. We can´t be sure when we get some fresh water the next time.”

Yixing set his can of food on the ground, to wipe his fingers on his pants, “Be careful that you don´t carry too much weight. If we have to run, a ten kilo backpack could mean life or death.”

“If it´s heavy enough you can smash it against one of their heads.” Sehun joked and a chuckle went through the group.

“We only have four backpacks, so we´ll take turns with carrying them.” Kyungsoo added, “I suggest we share the backpacks in the groups we had for sleeping as well.”

Everyone agreed and within the arranged time, they got to work. Baekhyun volunteered to fill the two huge jerry cans and several bottles, which they had collected, at the river. Anthony, with his tail waggling happily, was by his side. As Baekhyun kneeled down at the edge of the river, he watched with happy laughter, as his friend jumped right into the cool water. His black and white fur clung to his body and even though the flesh on his ribs still lacked, Baekhyun thought he was beautiful nonetheless.

Dancing around the water, Anthony attacked several small fishes that slid through the water, until Baekhyun had filled all the containers and got to his feet. His friend understood the motion and made his way out of the water. When he was close enough, he shook the water from his fur. Baekhyun squeaked when the cold water hit him dead-on but laughed at him anyways.

“I will make you pay for that, my friend.” he joked and Anthony barked.

They walked back together, to join the others. Above their heads, the sun had climbed to the top, streaming through the treetops like liquid gold. Usually, Baekhyun never got to relish in these kinds of atmospheres, but the humming of life around him made him feel content. He didn´t even feel the pulsing in his arm anymore, all that was left was the strange net of dark veins beneath his skin. With a quiet smile, he realized that it was the first time he felt like everything would be okay. Truly okay.

Together, they were stronger than the virus. Just the fact that Baekhyun was alive proved that. They would reach the safety zone and build a new life, to leave these haunting memories behind.

“What´s the first thing you´ll do when we get there?” Chanyeol asked dreamily, his fingers threading through Baekhyun´s.

He didn´t hesitate for a second: “Take a shower.” Chanyeol laughed and Baekhyun grinned along. When the calm settled back between them, he squeezed Chanyeol´s hand a little tighter, “I´d also like to… to build a memorial. Nothing big you know, just… something to tell his story.”

The taller´s eyes were on him and he didn´t need to meet them to feel the adoration in their gaze, “That sounds like a great idea. Do you need help?”

Baekhyun smiled widely, leaning into his boyfriend, “That would be great.”

They walked for half an eternity, but Baekhyun never started to feel tired. Even as the rest of the boys started to breathe a little louder than before, or their foreheads started to glisten with sweat, all Baekhyun could do was to offer carrying two bags. Jongdae mentioned it probably had something to do with his condition and just the mention of it was enough to make Baekhyun feel uneasy.

Just this morning, he had been sure that their future was in good hands. Now though, he wasn´t so sure anymore. Whatever was going on inside his body, Baekhyun had no control over it. On top of it, it was clearly not human. He tried not to be scared – tried not to loose the battle against his underlying panic – but the further they went, the more tired his friends grew and the longer he didn´t feel any change, the more restless he became.

“We have to take a break, or I´ll actually fall asleep walking.” Minseok proposed at some point, throwing himself on the remains of a fallen tree.

The rest of them quickly agreed, settling down around Minseok. Baekhyun didn´t mind a break, despite not needing it, so he sat down on a mossy old stone and handed out food and water from his bags.

“I´m gonna look around a little, see if there´s something we can gear to.” Jongdae proposed and everyone looked at him in surprise.

Surely, he must have been tired too, right, “I can go, I´m still wide awake.” Baekhyun offered.

“No!” Jongdae caught himself, “Uh, you don´t know what to look for, right? Besides, you´ve been carrying two bags all the way, it´s the least I can do.”

Furrowing his brows in confusion, Baekhyun eyed the other for a moment. Then he sighed and shrugged. Jongdae only gave a quick smile, before he turned his back and disappeared into the woods.

“Shouldn´t someone go with him?” Kyungsoo asked.

Sehun shook his head, “He´ll be alright.”

“Yeah, he knows how to make his way.” Yixing added, “Back in the laboratory, he went outside all the time but never got harmed. It´s a habit. He says it calms his brain down, when he´s thinking too much.”

Kyungsoo nodded and returned to his food. Baekhyun´s gaze however, remained glued to the spot where Jongdae had morphed into the woods. He couldn´t shake the feeling that something was up with the scientist. Ever since the conversation they had had at the river, Jongdae seemed to walk on ember. Maybe, he should have accepted Jongdae´s proposition of confronting an infected. Baekhyun shook his head. No. He stood by his opinion: the risks were too great.

“Are you sure you´re not hungry?” Chanyeol asked with concern lacing his voice.

Baekhyun shook his head and ran a hand through Anthony´s fur, “I´m fine, keep it for later.”

Chanyeol seemed to hesitate but after a moment of silent contemplation, he stored Baekhyun´s ration back into the backpacks. Instead of returning to his own food, he draped an arm around Baekhyun and let his hand join his boyfriend´s on Anthony´s back. The dog was glowing, happily wiggling his tail at all the attention and it made the two boys smile in unison.

“You know”, Chanyeol said, “We´re kind of like a little pocket-sized-family.”

“Pocket-sized?” Baekhyun chuckled, “Yeah you tell yourself that, you giant.”

Chanyeol shoved him playfully, “You know what I mean. We´re the parents and Anthony is our precious little son. We can adopt Kyungsoo too, he´s small enough.”

“If he lets us.” They both look over at the stern-looking man with a grin. He was in the middle of massaging Jongin´s shoulders with a concentrated pout on his lips, “Which I doubt.”

“He might surprise you.”

“Okay, then who is the mom and who is the dad?” Baekhyun questioned, enjoying their little game more and more by the second.

Chanyeol pointed a finger at him, “There can be two dads.”

“Fair enough”, letting his eyes wander a little more, Baekhyun stopped to muster Minseok, “then Min should be the grandpa. Or the uncle.”

“Let´s pray he didn´t hear you. If he finds out your first idea was to make him the grandpa, he´ll behead you.” The taller laughed.

“Okay what about Jongin?”

Chanyeol gave him a shit-eating grin, “Is that even a question? If we really adopt Kyungsoo, he´ll be our son-in-law faster than you can count to ten.”

Baekhyun threw his head back in a furious giggle, his heart jumping with delight, “Okay, okay, I give that to you. Now that I think about it: we should adopt Sehun as well. He´d be a perfect example for the typical, moody teenager.”

“Isn´t that kind of weird though?” Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun lifted a brow in question, “Since him and Minseok did the…”

Slowly, Baekhyun´s face morphed into one of disgust, “Oh god, you´re right. Scratch that.”

They laughed together, faces disappearing in each other´s necks. Chanyeol´s hand found his and held on tight. Baekhyun knew this moment should have never ended if it had been his decision. Their conversation had planted little seeds of beautiful pictures in his mind. Once they were at the safety zone, who knew, maybe they really would get to become a family. He gazed at Anthony over Chanyeol´s shoulder, but the dog had already made his way towards Minseok to collect a little more affection. He smiled, watching the elder ruffle Anthony´s fur with a happy grin.

Leaning back, Baekhyun used the proximity to press a soft kiss to Chanyeol´s lips. The taller seemed pleased with the affection and reciprocated right away, “I love you.”

Baekhyun´s eyes widened with surprise, then he kissed Chanyeol again, “I love you too.”

Somehow every first with Chanyeol felt like an adventure.

They parted, once Yixing and Sehun voiced the importance of checking on Baekhyun´s progress. The two scientists closely watched the inside of Baekhyun´s elbow, causing him to hold his breath in anticipation. He hadn´t felt any kind of change, but it was entirely possible that he had missed something. Something crucial.

“Has the patch grown?” Yixing asked, frowning at the black veins.

“No.”

Sehun swiped a finger over the surface, looking for a reaction, “Does it itch? Burn? Pulsate?”

Shaking his head again, Baekhyun watched the two boys silently contemplate. They seemed calm though, which was a great relief for his nerves. He felt Chanyeol´s gaze on him, from the other side of their little rest-place. Giving his boyfriend a reassuring nod, Baekhyun looked back down at his wound.

To be honest, it didn´t even feel like a wound anymore. The little red dot, where Jongdae had pressed the syringe into his skin had healed up a long time ago. All there was left was a trace beneath the surface. He hadn´t lied, saying that it didn´t affect him in any way. With a little bit of imagination, it almost looked like a tattoo.

“Do you feel this?” Yixing pinched the skin above the mark.

Baekhyun nodded, “It´s dull but I do.”

“How about this?” Sehun pressed a blunt nail into his leg, but Baekhyun didn´t even flinch, “Nothing?”

“No.”

Yixing seemed to hesitate for a moment, before he stretched out a hand and swiped a gentle finger over Baekhyun´s cheek, “This?”

“Yeah. Pretty clear.”

“Don´t freak out but I think that your nerve system might be damaged. Or should I say, sorted.” Yixing said and once he spotted the confusion on Baekhyun´s face, he continued: “You feel a normal touch perfectly fine but as soon as it grows into a painful sensation”, he slapped Baekhyun´s arm with two fingers, “It´s not being processed anymore.”

It was true. Baekhyun hadn´t even felt a sting. Hadn´t it been for his own two eyes, he would have doubted Yixing actually hit him at all. He stared at his hands in awe.

“You mentioned you have trouble sleeping.” Sehun said, “Still not tired? Or hungry?”

Baekhyun shook his head again, “Nothing.”

“This is…” Yixing´s lips spread into a wide grin, “This is extraordinary!”

“You´re like a superhero.” Minseok chuckled next to him.

The weird thing was that Baekhyun didn´t feel like one at all. Everything still felt the same. He got butterflies from the same person, felt sad at the same memories, closed his eyes in the evening and still reached for the canned tomatoes on instinct. His emotions hadn´t changed. He hadn´t changed. Jongdae could be right after all, he really still was a human being. Even, if a bit enhanced. Baekhyun liked to think he didn´t have anything in common with the infected that roamed the world.

“Do you think I-“

A bone-rattling scream cut through the air. All of them looked around frantically in search of the source. Kyungsoo was the first to reach for his weapons and the rest of them mirrored his actions with panicked speed. Baekhyun´s heart hammered in his head and despite knowing he wasn´t going to be in pain ever again, he couldn´t help it; he was scared.

Chanyeol was by his side in an instant and they covered each other´s back with practised ease. Baekhyun clenched the machete in his hand tighter, as his eyes scanned their surroundings. It had gotten quiet again – too quiet. No birds, no insects, nothing. Just a silent, repetitive tapping-sound. It grew closer and louder with every breath and Baekhyun tensed up. There, through the copse broke a familiar figure. Jongdae´s eyes were ripped open in terror and he stumbled, before scrambling onto his feet again.

“Watch out!”

Jongdae wasn´t the only one joining them. There, right after him appeared another figure and Baekhyun´s jaw clenched in panic. She was young, barely twenty years old from the looks of it and her hair stood out in several directions. Baekhyun felt his stomach churn at the sight of empty, white eyeballs and ripped, grey skin. Her arms reached out and only in a few breaths, she would have reached Jongdae´s body.

He was about to storm forward and slash her head off with one clean cut, when a swift shadow of grey beat him to it. Anthony had his teeth buried in her leg like an anchor, just the way he had learned. The infected let out a screech, shrill enough to make ears bleed. Baekhyun moved to help his friend, machete already lifted, when the infected kicked her leg with unbelievable force.

Like a light-weight, Anthony flew to the side, colliding with the stone Baekhyun had just been sitting on a few moments ago. He raised his machete high and ran towards the infected. Behind him, Chanyeol shouted his name. He didn´t listen, only focusing on the infected. Just like they had guessed. She didn´t even see him coming. He slowed down in front of her, close enough for her to reach out a hand and wrap it around his throat. Breathing heavily, the rotten stench filled his nose and he remained frozen. She seemed confused, trying to find something that wasn´t there.

With a scream, Baekhyun raised his machete and cut her head clean off.

Her unmoving body dropped to the floor and his loud panting was the only sound in his ears. Somewhere in the back of his head, he registered the pulsing in his elbow but he couldn´t pay it a thought. There was black blood in his face and he wiped it away with the back of his hand, almost retching in disgust.

“Baekhyun.”

He turned his head at the broken voice. Chanyeol´s voice. The giant was cowering on the ground, looming over a familiar pile of fur. His hand went limb and the machete clattered to the ground. Even before it hit the surface, he was kneeling next to Anthony with his eyes wide. There was blood oozing from his head and he was so, so silent. Unmoving.

“No, no no NO NO!” Baekhyun´s hands scrambled for his friend, trying to pull him into his lap.

He was so light, with his skinny body and thin fur. Why was he not moving?

“Come back.” He whispered firmly, his fists clenching around the familiar fur, “Come back, we´re almost there. You- you can´t. YOU CAN´T DO THIS COME BACK.”

But he wasn´t coming back. Anthony´s eyes were blank, empty of the warmth they had held for as long as Baekhyun could remember. His heart hurt. He wanted it out, wanted to rip his own ribcage open and rip it from its place to never feel this hurt again. Waves crashed above his head, drowning him, numbing every sound. His arms were tight around his friend´s frame, like stone – unmoving. He wouldn´t let go, he wasn´t going to let Anthony alone.

Someone tried to pry him away from the lifeless, little body, “NO GO AWAY, GO AWAY!”

“Let him go”, Kyungsoo pleaded and his eyes were glistening, “Baekhyun, let him go-“NO! GET AWAY!”

“PLEASE LET HIM GO!” The smaller repeated, his voice cracking as he screamed.

Looking down, Baekhyun noticed the weird angle of Anthony´s head. Baekhyun had held on so tight, his neck had broken. He screamed again. He screamed and screamed and screamed until his throat felt like it was bleeding. They had promised him he´d never feel pain again. Then why did this hurt so much? Why did it feel like the whole planet was suffocating him and there was a dagger buried in his chest?

“NO, HE HAS TO COME BACK.”

“He´s gone Baekhyun!” Chanyeol choked out, still trying to pull Baekhyun away, “He´s gone!”

“NO!” Baekhyun pleaded.

He pleaded to Chanyeol. Pleaded to Kyungsoo. Pleaded to whatever higher being might hear him, “GIVE HIM BACK, GIVE HIM BACK!”

“HE´S GONE BAEKHYUN!” Chanyeol´s voice sent him back to earth, back to a place that had betrayed him and numbed him to every feeling. His limbs went slack and he allowed them to pry Anthony out of his arms. Chanyeol´s arms wrapped around him, pressing Baekhyun´s face into his chest. He screamed into the taller´s chest. Not caring about the tears and snot that stained his shirt, Chanyeol held him tight enough to hurt. It didn´t hurt. Nothing hurt, except the bleeding hole in his chest. “He´s gone.” Chanyeol repeated, more to himself than to the small boy in his arms. Then, with a soft whisper he added: “He´s with Tae now. He´ll never be alone.”

Baekhyun let himself break. Let all the memories pass him by and let his body scream itself dry, until everything that left him was a pathetic excuse of a wheeze. Chanyeol held him, not letting up his grip even once. For the first time in a long while, Baekhyun felt tired. He knew better than to think he was exhausted though. It wasn´t his body that needed a rest, but his soul that had taken too many hits again.

\--*--

He woke up to the sound of birds. His tired body was draped in blankets and seated in a comfortable armchair. There was a faint smell of baked goods creeping into his nose and he felt his stomach growl. What a strange feeling to be hungry. As he looked around, he recognized the banana cream-coloured walls and his head fell back onto the neck rest.

In front of him, a long window-wall let the sunlight stream inside. There was his old garden, filled with green and happy memories. He choked back a sob, when he saw Anthony jumping around on the grass to catch the little butterflies in the air. His subconscious truly had a way to be cruel. Even as he wanted to get up and join his friend a last time, he found his body unable to move. Forced to watch.

“I´m so sorry.” Baekhyun looked to his left, to find Taehyung in the doorway.

He looked broken, almost as much as Baekhyun felt. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes rimmed red from crying. Unable to find any words to speak, Baekhyun reached out a hand. Taehyung reacted instantly and plodded towards him. Pulling his best friend down by the hand, Baekhyun let him sit down in his lap. A warm weight that grounded him.

“You promise you´ll take good care of him, right?” Baekhyun whispered.

Taehyung squeezed his hand, “Of course.” then he added: “You know, you can always visit us here. We´ll be waiting.”  
“Thank you.” Baekhyun mouthed into his shoulder.

 

\--*--

They had walked the whole day. Baekhyun hadn´t been allowed to carry any bags today, all of the others insisting to take them for him. Jongdae had been the most urging, even though both of them knew it was a mild comfort. Chanyeol hadn´t left his side the whole day, despite Baekhyun barely speaking a single word. Kyungsoo, to his surprise had barely left him alone either, his gaze always checking on him or his hands even taking Baekhyun´s own. He wished he could feel thankful, but all that coursed through him was dread.

“It should be behind that hill.” Jongin said, leading them further.

Minseok huffed, following. Baekhyun recognized the way his features seemed to have sunken in over night. He reached out a hand, to hold onto Minseok´s arm and the older turned to look at him with surprise. They exchanged a bitter smile – a sad attempt to comfort each other – before moving on. As they reached the top of the hill, Yixing let out a small curse.

Baekhyun frowned and hurried up the hill to join the group. As soon as he got a glimpse of what was beyond, he let out a gasp. The safety zone was there, visible even from a mile away, with its high stone walls and sharp barbed wire. But there, in the space between, was something that Baekhyun could have never expected in his wildest dreams. There were at least two hundred of them. They just stood there, exactly the way Baekhyun remembered the infected in the underground train. No way in hell lead around them.

“There is an entrance exactly there.” Sehun pointed at a slim door in the wall, “Another one, three kilometres to the right and another one, four kilometres to the left.”

Kyungsoo ran a hand over his trimmed hair, “Do you think the others would be less crowded?”

“I doubt it.” Sehun said.

“Shit.” Jongin cursed under his breath, “Then how do we get in there?”

They contemplated in silence for a little, until Jongdae spoke up: “There are five helicopters in the safety zone.”

Minseok frowned, “So?”

“So, if at least one of us could make it there, they could inform the people to pick us up from an agreed meeting location.” Jongdae explained.

Baekhyun´s shoulder slumped. He knew exactly what that meant. As he met Sehun´s tired eyes, he was sure that the other knew just as well. They would be able to walk through this gigantic crowd without a problem in the world. The others wouldn´t. Baekhyun felt his fists clench at the mere thought of leaving Chanyeol behind.

“If Baekhyun and Sehun-“

“No.” Baekhyun interrupted firmly.

Chanyeol´s hand went to his shoulder, “Baekhyun, you two are the only ones that-“

“No, I´m not going to leave you behind.” Baekhyun protested, “Not after everything. I promised to protect you and I can´t do that when I´m apart from you.”

Jongin grasped his arm to get Baekhyun´s attention, “I´m sorry to break it to you, but this is the only way you can protect him. Besides, don´t forget that he´s not on his own.”

“But I-“

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol´s voice was soft as a feather, “Let´s have a chat.”

Frowning, Baekhyun let Chanyeol pull him away from the group. They walked along the hill, careful to not be spotted, until they found a silent spot at a big oak tree. With a smile that seemed too cheerful, Chanyeol sat down against the tree, beckoning his boyfriend to join him. Without a fight, Baekhyun slumped down next to him.

“I don´t want to go without you.”

“I know”, Chanyeol audibly gulped, “But you have to. Before you can count to ten, I´ll be back in your arms.”

Baekhyun´s eyes fell shut, “I wouldn´t be able to loose another piece of my family.”

“And you won´t have to.” This time, Chanyeol´s voice sounded firmer, as he cupped Baekhyun´s face in his hands, “We´ll be together. And we´ll adopt Kyungsoo and make proper bacon for breakfast”, his voice broke and a pearl dripped down his cheek, “and we´ll build memorials for those we´ll never forget. We´ll build a home, Baekhyun. You and me. I promise.”

Baekhyun´s bottom lip quivered but he had ran out of tears to spill, “I love you so much.”

“And I love you”, Chanyeol said, “more than I could ever explain.”

“I´m so tired Chan.”

“I know”, the taller pulled Baekhyun´s head into his neck, “But we´ll get our happy ending. I promise you, I won´t let anything get in our way.”


	13. Outro: I found you

The dried grass beneath his feet crunched softly, as Baekhyun walked down the hill. Sehun´s steps echoed with his, heavy but steady in their rhythm. He watched the sky above them. It was blue, like none of the sadness and darkness of the past five years had ever even happened. Even the rustling of trees in the wind seemed entirely too peaceful. Baekhyun was torn between cursing at the sky and lying down to let it all, wash over him.

As they reached the bottom of the hill, Baekhyun turned his head a last time. There, his friends stood at the top, watching them with held breaths. Minseok gave him a reassuring nod, as they met eyes and Baekhyun couldn´t help but give the tiniest smile. Kyungsoo was leaning against Jongin with a frown on his face. However, when Baekhyun looked at him, he mustered the strength to wave and give an exhausted smile. He couldn´t even begin to explain how much he hoped to see his friend again, Baekhyun realized and his heart pulled towards them like it had gone mad.

When Baekhyun´s gaze fell on Chanyeol, the world stopped turning for a moment. Sunlight hit his face, ragged with exhaustion, dirt and bloody cuts, but he looked as handsome as he had always done. Despite the tiredness in his body, Chanyeol´s lips were stretched into a warm, honest smile and Baekhyun wanted to take it all in, until he´d never be able to forget what it looked like. His eyes crinkled at the edges, speaking those three words they couldn´t share enough these days and Baekhyun promised himself that this was not a good-bye.

Finally, he tore his gaze away to look into the future. Sehun stretched a hand towards him. He was hesitant, as if unsure whether this was what Baekhyun needed. Without a breath, Baekhyun took his hand and they pulled each other forward. His heart never picked up speed, he wasn´t scared anymore. The infected didn´t even look up at them, as they came closer and closer towards the crowd.

The two boys walked between the infected, occasionally even bumping their shoulders. Spies in the rows of the virus and those who possessed the power to end it all. Baekhyun mustered them. Mustered the feared sickness that had covered their planet by their own hand and the realization dawned upon him that maybe they would have a chance. That maybe, Sehun and him could change the world. Save it, even. Such a strange thought, yet almost graspable, as they walked past the infected and closer and closer towards the wall. It felt like an out of body experience. Like Baekhyun´s ghost was floating through the air, between those countless bodies and that was the reason they didn´t see him. He almost looked down at himself, to check whether he was still there.

They reached the stone wall after ten minutes and Sehun pressed his hand against the stone near the door. There was a small beeping sound and Baekhyun understood that there must have been a scanner under Sehun´s palm. But the door didn´t open, instead a little patch in the wall moved aside and revealed a camera.

“Identify yourself.” A female voice ordered and Sehun stepped forward.

“This is subject 20, Oh Sehun and survivor Byun Baekhyun. Both subjects are clean. I repeat: both subjects are clean.”

Baekhyun watched the scene with wide eyes. “How did you pass by the infected?”

“It´s a long story.” Sehun said, “But we come with good news.”

“Elaborate.”

Sehun gave him Baekhyun a short glance and they nodded at each other, before Sehun looked back up at the camera, “We have the cure.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can´t even begin to tell you how overwhelming it is to know that this whole project that I have spent MONTHS on, is now finally available for the whole world. I hope it can give people comfort and hope, the things I gained from it, when writing. 
> 
> Thank you endlessly for reading, if you got until here, I don´t even know how to express how much that means to me <3 
> 
> Feel free to yell at me in the comments, my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/putputpotato) or my DMs on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/putputpotato/) ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡
> 
> Have an awesome day! Until next time <3


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